Best Umpire (or Male Porn Star) Name Ever

[Richvee]

Had a coach in a tournament who's actual name was Frosty Brown. Guy must have been 85 years old and he coached old school. It was great...

 

Oh and no BS in 8th grade my math teachers husbands name was Harold Dicks and he went by Harry...She brought us in a copy of his license to prove it....

 

If anyone is looking for some good reads in their 'down' time, a couple of my favorites: 'Yellow River' by I.P. Freely & 'Sliding Down a Rope Naked' by Dick Burns

 

 

"50 Yard Dash to the Outhouse" by Willie Maykit. Illustrated by Betty Wont. 

 

[Rulekeep]

You can also get a great name by doing the following:

Your first name is the name of your first pet.

Your last name would be the first street you lived on when growing up.

Mine;

Baron Gainsborough

Java Douglas.

Okay seriously this is one of the most bizarre and amusing threads ever. As for umpire names; Ike Balcim. (I'd balk him. Yes? No? Even a little? C'mon...)

[umpcoachfather]

Twoballs Ejectorson

[Jglopez7]

Cody Van Buren!

[Mike Prince]

Can't believe no one has come up with Max Johnson yet... 

[Majordave]

Hi! I'm Phil McCrevace.

[Thunderheads]

Hi! I'm Phil McCrevace.

or his second distant cousin ... Phil McCracken

[MadMax]

 

Hi! I'm Phil McCrevace.

or his second distant cousin ... Phil McCracken

 

 

Then there's Ben Dover with his nearly inseparable sidekick Tay Kitt. They're introduced as a pair.

[MooseLoop]

"Under the Grandstand", by Seymour Butz

[Majordave]

@MadMax

 

I had a player on my Legion team one summer named Ben and last name started with a D, Donner or Doughty or Daughtry or something like that.  Only played a few tourneys with us.  I called him Ben Dover.  He was NOT happy.  Never heard the Tay Kitt.  Taylor Kitt, nickname Tay?

 

 

On a semi-related note, one of my work buddies attributes this phrase to his brother a retired Army LTC, who once related that when he worked in a Joint Command with a harsh and unfriendly work environment a Marine NCO once told them that when things aren't going like you want "sometimes you just have to roll over and bite the pillow."  

 

Hahaha.  Love that one. 

[goody14]

I had a partner with a similar name to this one last summer. The first name is a derivative of his given name. The last name has a letter removed from the end. I told him I thought it was my best ever name for an umpire or porn star. He laughed and tolerated my twisted sense of humor

Dick Hammer.

I think it's the best possible name for an umpire, or a porn star for that matter, EVER!

Anyone got one better?

I don't have a better name...

 

All I know is they are masters at working the box...or the slot.  But, if they don't pay enough attention, their spouses will work the scissors.

[Umpire in Chief]

BTW did I mention there is a high school around here  -- John Holmes HS. 

 

It is where the Edenton Steamers of the CPL play too. Last year I met one of our members who was working the CPL there and he couldn't believe the school they played was John Holmes.

[BT_Blue]

There is a very well known umpire in Orange County in Southern CA named Dick Jolley. Super nice guy and a hell of an umpire. But I would never get over his name.

[OHUMP]

We have an urologist in our are named Dick Tapper no joke.

[Typhoon]

What about "Revenge of the Tiger" by Claude Balls

[OHUMP]

There is a Urologist here by the name of Richard Tapper and he does go by Dick.

[Bkesler24]

Had a guy I went to school with, he was the star running back on the high school football team name was 'Harry Cox', man it was so funny to hear the announcer say Harry Cox carries the ball for a first down.

[BRUMP]

i remember in 8th grade whenever we had a sub we would steal the attendance list and write dick hertz on the bottom. inevitably whenever the sub asked the class whose dick hertz......all of the males raised their hands

[BaltimoreUmpire]

You can also get a great name by doing the following:

Your first name is the name of your first pet.

Your last name would be the first street you lived on when growing up.

Mine;

Baron Gainsborough

Chance Steeple, actulley sounds like a real name thats odd

[tjwoelfel13]

Tetsu Lindenwood. 

[millerforrest]

Colton Steele

[TheGeneral]

Our two local chiropractors are Dr. McCraken and Dr. Crush.

I wish I was joking.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mick]

The guy in our area who does commercials for "Quick Response":  Dick Wood.   [really.... why not go by Rick or Richard...?)

[Majordave]

Saw this one the other day. Chiropractor in Olathe, KS.

Dr. Bonebraker. Really?

[Platejob29]

Went to high school with a guy named Richard Ryder. Actually had a sub who called his name Dick Ryder when taking roll. In reality it was Richard Garcia in that class who went by Dick and his name came directly before Ryder's on the roll.