Coach lied, I'm livid

[mac266]

Situation:  JuCo game, the home team is going to mercy rule the visitors but we haven't quite made it there yet.  NCAA rule book.  We're working two-man.  With a runner on first, I'm in position B.  The batter hit a screaming ground ball up the first base foul line.  From where I was it looked like it was probably on the foul side of the line.  As it passed 1st base, it did not change direction, bounce, or give any other indication that it had touched the bag.  The PU ruled it foul.  The 1st base coach (home team, leading by a billion runs), who was already circling his arm to tell the batter-runner to go for another bag, almost came unglued.  As he started to protest, it was obvious he was going to point it fair while saying something to my partner.  He believed it had touched the bag. My partner told him, "Don't you dare point.  That was foul."

A few more words are exchanged and we got the game going again.  Between innings, I run over to the fence to get a drink of water; I have a water bottle with a carabiner on it to hook it onto the fence.  Some home team players were on the other side of the fence, and asked me, "Hey, blue, did you think it touched the base?"  I replied, "Not from where I was."

After the game, my partner and I are having a drink and he asked me, "Did you tell those guys you thought the ball was fair?"

Me:  "What?  No."

Partner:  "The coach said you thought it was fair."

We talk a little more, and apparently between innings this guy had tried to throw me under the bus, claiming I had said it was a fair ball. 

You have to understand a little about me:  Integrity is everything.  If you have no integrity, you're dead to me, and I can't think of any way that you could ever regain my trust after betraying me.  This guy, who was an assistant coach, by the way, is on my SH*# list forever.  Not only did he blatantly lie, he lied about me personally to try to argue a point with my partner (did he think we wouldn't talk about this and uncover his lie???).  I don't respect him as a man, let alone as a coach.  You may see that as harsh, but that's how important integrity is to me (if he's willing to lie about another person in a baseball game, what else is he willing to lie about???). 

So here is my question:  How do I deal with this?  Please don't remind me to make every call as I see them, unbiased toward him.  I know that; I'm the one with integrity, remember?  What I'm asking about is whether or not I should say something to him.  Out in the real world, off the diamond, I would be approaching him man-to-man and dealing with this issue.  But I'm guessing that would not be the preferred approach in baseball.  Just make a mental note that he's a lying douchebag and make sure my partners are aware of it?

[JonnyCat]

2 hours ago, mac266 said:

So here is my question:  How do I deal with this?  Please don't remind me to make every call as I see them, unbiased toward him.  I know that; I'm the one with integrity, remember?  What I'm asking about is whether or not I should say something to him.  Out in the real world, off the diamond, I would be approaching him man-to-man and dealing with this issue.  But I'm guessing that would not be the preferred approach in baseball.  Just make a mental note that he's a lying douchebag and make sure my partners are aware of it?

I, as well, think integrity is first and foremost. And frankly, it is a dying trait. More people should have it and maybe many of our problems will go away. Kudos to you!

I wouldn't say anything to him. Why? It's a waste of time. The guy is obviously a person of low character and morals. You're not going to gain anything by approaching him and calling him out. He won't change, and most likely will get a rise out of knowing he has made you upset. People like him generally feel better about their miserable lives by making other people mad. As much as you would like to get into his face, he'll probably enjoy that for some twisted reason. He's just another dick coach.

You also have to remember that you're only getting part of the story, and there may be more to it. I'm not questioning your partners integrity, however the information you're receiving is secondhand. Just something to think about. Is it possible the information is true? Yes. Is it possible it's a misunderstanding. Yes. Will the coach deny it and try to turn it around? Also, yes. Confronting him could just open a can of worms that isn't worth your time.

IMO, take the high road and act like he is dead to you and doesn't deserve any of your time and energy. If you have to interact with him on a field, be professional, but that's it.

A very wise employer of mine once said to me, "Don't let someone else affect your life because they can't live their's right."

[umpstu]

Let it go.  He's not attacking your integrity.  He might have received his info from one of those players you were talking to.  Would have been best not to have responded to the player's question in the first place.  Just get the drink and get out of there.  Question, does the home team have student trainers that might bring you a bottle of water between innings?  Usually you can just ask for a drink of water and they will bring it to you.

[dumbdumb]

Is this like when you tell the customer you are going to print off that 'sheet' of paper with needed information for them, and the customer says to please call the supervisor over and then proceeds to tell the supervisor that said customer service agent/employee just called them a, piece of sheet, I mean sh_t, and they want the product for free and the employee punished?

And since it is a he said/she said situation, after the customer leaves, the supervisor suspends the employee for a day and takes them off customer service for a couple days, and doing another non customer service job, before reinstating them and puts that in their employee file.

[BigBlue4u]

6 hours ago, mac266 said:

So here is my question:  How do I deal with this?  Please don't remind me to make every call as I see them, unbiased toward him.  I know that; I'm the one with integrity, remember?  What I'm asking about is whether or not I should say something to him.  Out in the real world, off the diamond, I would be approaching him man-to-man and dealing with this issue.  But I'm guessing that would not be the preferred approach in baseball.  Just make a mental note that he's a lying douchebag and make sure my partners are aware of it?

First, if you are correctly using the word "livid," you are out of control.  A coach or manager telling an umpire his partner said he missed a call is as old as the game itself.  In your case, the coach appeared to have done a proficient job of getting you riled up.  As I have said before, ignore unverifiable information.  How would your partner have reacted if the coach told your partner that you told the coach your partner was wrong on a call?  See what I mean?  Ignore this crap! To answer your question about saying something to him, no, just  accept it as another ploy by a coach to try and get an edge.

[The Man in Blue]

10 hours ago, mac266 said:

So here is my question:  How do I deal with this?  Please don't remind me to make every call as I see them, unbiased toward him.  I know that; I'm the one with integrity, remember?  What I'm asking about is whether or not I should say something to him.  Out in the real world, off the diamond, I would be approaching him man-to-man and dealing with this issue.  But I'm guessing that would not be the preferred approach in baseball.  Just make a mental note that he's a lying douchebag and make sure my partners are aware of it?

 

The same way you deal with any petulant child who tries to play mom-against-dad ... You continue to make unbiased calls like nothing occurred. 

The next time he gets of line though, you run him.  It isn't about revenge or carrying a grudge.  Don't look for it.  Just remember that his actions have shown he should no longer be allowed any leash.

Other than that, talk to your partners (I bet they have similar stories), then move on to the next game.

[ChrisUrbz]

Classic bait and switch it is used by players and coaches as a means to go after the umpire they felt made a bad call. NEVER reply with what you thought as it will get twisted up 100 times before it gets back to you and your partner. I simply reply with I can't see that from here my partner has the best view of that play. That shuts them down and I will also let my partner know that they are fishing so by the time it gets back to him he already knows what is going on. 

[aaluck]

I'll tell you how I would have handled it....

My partner and I would have gone to the head coach and asked him to get the assistant.  From there, in from in front of the AC, HC and my partner, I would have asked him why he lied to my partner and said I told him the ball was fair.  If he lies agin, you call him a cowardly liar and leave it at that.

I had this exact same thing happen to me with a first year kid and that's exactly what I did. To his credit (if you want to call it that) he admitted he hadn't spoken with me about the play.

[JSam21]

In other news, the sky is blue. Coaches lie all the time. They are working. The quicker that we understand that the easier our lives are. Control what you can control and leave everything else to the wind. 

 

[834k3r]

Slightly OT, but it's germane to the topic of coaches and our relationship with them. Friendly coaches aren't trying to be friends with you. They want to bias you towards their team when the time comes for a call on a close/controversial play.

I have to remind myself of that often.

[wolfe_man]

26 minutes ago, 834k3r said:

Slightly OT, but it's germane to the topic of coaches and our relationship with them. Friendly coaches aren't trying to be friends with you. They want to bias you towards their team when the time comes for a call on a close/controversial play.

I have to remind myself of that often.

Coaches are like politicians.  They never agree with anyone unless it suits their purposes.  They have no friends, but especially not umpires.

Like some on here say, if you believe them when they tell you that you're doing a great job - then you have to believe them when they say you suck too.

Don't talk to 'em beyond the required stuff. They're usually only fishing for dirt to use against you in any way that they can.

 

[ArchAngel72]

17 hours ago, aaluck said:

I'll tell you how I would have handled it....

My partner and I would have gone to the head coach and asked him to get the assistant.  From there, in from in front of the AC, HC and my partner, I would have asked him why he lied to my partner and said I told him the ball was fair.  If he lies agin, you call him a cowardly liar and leave it at that.

I had this exact same thing happen to me with a first year kid and that's exactly what I did. To his credit (if you want to call it that) he admitted he hadn't spoken with me about the play.

 

 

If Op never spoke to the assistant and only chatted with the players while he was at the fence.  Then maybe the players lied to the assistant coach and He retold the lie.

 

At least that's how I read the OP.

 

But other than that. Heh.. Coaches lie all the time. They will back a play or call or whatever to boost their team/player.  They may know 100% you were correct in your call but its their job to make sure the players are performing to their best, not to boost our morale cause a player was upset about a call or their team was.

 

[Catch18]

Me and a guy I play in a weekly, friendly poker game enjoy reminding each other, there’s no friends at the poker game.

I’ve thought more about this on the field actually. We can get along at the table/on the field - cordial, friendly, a little chop bustin’……but in the end, I want to smoke you for your entire stack in front of you. Translate to baseball: if the price for earning my regional/state game is you lying in bed at night sobbing, so be it.

[beerguy55]

23 hours ago, 834k3r said:

Slightly OT, but it's germane to the topic of coaches and our relationship with them. Friendly coaches aren't trying to be friends with you. They want to bias you towards their team when the time comes for a call on a close/controversial play.

I have to remind myself of that often.

Or maybe they're just professional and friendly.   Frankly, I'm friendly to umpires not to gain a bias for, but to prevent a bias against.  Being an asshole isn't going to do me any favors on bang/bang plays.