Best lines you've heard or used at an umpire?

[GoodCallBlue!]

One of my favorites is "Hey blue! I have your cell phone & since the game started it says you have 4 missed calls already!"

[stkjock]

[Thunderheads]

"I've seen better eyes on a potato!"

[GoodCallBlue!]

Hey Blue! New York called & said you should ask them for help on that call!

[Cav]

While umpire (not me) was brushing off the plate someone yells down from the stands, "Hey, Blue!  Turn it over.  The directions are on the other side."

[Mudisfun]

Very first pitch of the game...

"Come on Blue you have to call it both ways!"

[Mudder]

2 umpires who can't stand each other are working a game, 2-man, on a check swing appeal PU points to his partner, did he go?...making the safe mechanic BU responds " No he didn't", then immediately makes the out mechanic and says "but it caught the corner!"

[Stk004]

One time I was PU and there was a called strike and a spectator goes "Cmon blue it was at his knees!" 

[Tksjewelry]

This was from this weekend. Catcher is taking warm-up pitches, ball pops off the ground and nails him in the nethers. He drops to his knees with his hands between his legs, drops to his side, rolls over like a dog, pops up and announces very loudly with his arms raised like he won a trophy "I'm good! I got the nut cup!"

Sent from my SM-G920P using Tapatalk

[Stk004]

Just came off a game where the HTHC swears the hands are part of the bat. 

[kylehutson]

Last weekend I had a ball that bounced under the catchers' legs and hit me in the cup. I called "Ball" and then said to the catcher "...and he tried to get two".

[Aging_Arbiter]

At a plate meeting and when my partner was asked where his strike zone is, he replied "for your team or theirs"?

[StrikeToWin]

Had a coach ask where a pitch missed and I said it was up and in.  He told me that it wasn't up since I called the exact same pitch on the previous batter a strike.  I said the previous batter was 6 foot, this guy isn't even 5 foot.  He told me "that doesn't matter, the strike zone doesn't change!"  

[GoodCallBlue!]

7 hours ago, StrikeToWin said:

Had a coach ask where a pitch missed and I said it was up and in.  He told me that it wasn't up since I called the exact same pitch on the previous batter a strike.  I said the previous batter was 6 foot, this guy isn't even 5 foot.  He told me "that doesn't matter, the strike zone doesn't change!"  

Tell him that hes right, the strike zone doesn't change but the dimensions do!

[johnnyg08]

On 6/14/2016 at 2:49 PM, Mudisfun said:

Very first pitch of the game...

"Come on Blue you have to call it both ways!"

I can't tie that...but I've heard "both ways" in the first three hitters.  

[johnnyg08]

On 6/14/2016 at 9:43 PM, Stk004 said:

Just came off a game where the HTHC swears the hands are part of the bat. 

I had that the other day too.  

 

[Mudisfun]

52 minutes ago, johnnyg08 said:

I can't tie that...but I've heard "both ways" in the first three hitters.  

I had a hard time to just keep from busting up... and since it was the 1st pitch I took it as the joke it was intended to be.

[johnnyg08]

3 minutes ago, Mudisfun said:

I had a hard time to just keep from busting up... and since it was the 1st pitch I took it as the joke it was intended to be.

It has to be a joke.  A fellow umpire trolling us from the stands perhaps?  

[Mudisfun]

11 minutes ago, johnnyg08 said:

It has to be a joke.  A fellow umpire trolling us from the stands perhaps?  

I chatted with the coach between innings and turns out he was a former MiLB player... he used that line as a gauge to see if the umpire had a sense of humor at all or not. He said he got warnings about arguing balls and strikes more often than you would think. Guess you have to be pretty tight to not see the humor on the first pitch but technically it is balls and strikes I guess. I thought it was funny as heck.

Other than that he came out one time to ask a question unrelated to a call and I never heard a peep from him other than line up changes. 

[FleasOf1000Camels]

Worked a 10u tournament recently.  Each coach brought a 'captain' with him to the plate meeting.  At end of meeting, U1 asks "does anybody have any other questions for me?"

Serious as a heart attack, one of the kids asked  "What's you strike zone?"

[Jimurray]

After I spouted the company line "coach if you continue...blah blah blah", As the coach was walking away, "Don't threaten me."

[umpire_scott]

On 6/16/2016 at 11:01 AM, johnnyg08 said:

I can't tie that...but I've heard "both ways" in the first three hitters.  

First batter of the game in an 18U tournament.  First pitch is a strike right down the middle.  Next two pitches are picked off the dirt by F2 and are just off the plate as well.  Then I think a foul ball evens the count up.  Fifth pitch is also picked off the dirt by F2 filling the count up.  Ball 4 comes in off the plate and is once again almost in the dirt.  As the batter trots to first a mom to my left says "Cmon blue you're squeezing us".

[umpire_scott]

On 6/16/2016 at 4:21 PM, FleasOf1000Camels said:

Worked a 10u tournament recently.  Each coach brought a 'captain' with him to the plate meeting.  At end of meeting, U1 asks "does anybody have any other questions for me?"

Serious as a heart attack, one of the kids asked  "What's you strike zone?"

Look on the bright side he's acknowledging that you can have any zone you want.

[umpire_scott]

Doing a little league game several years ago in Phoenix.  Had a fan heckling me constantly.  I ignored most of it, but when it started to become a distraction (players were actually turning and looking at him and he was right by me), I called "time" and inquired about which team he was with as I was going to speak to the coach about keeping his fans under control.  The fan says "I'm not with either team, I just came to watch the games".  So tell him that he needs to quiet down or I'll get the site director to make him leave.  He looks at me flabbergasted and says "I was just having fun.  Isn't heckling the umpire a part of baseball?".  

[basejester]

14 hours ago, umpire_scott said:

Doing a little league game several years ago in Phoenix.  Had a fan heckling me constantly.  I ignored most of it, but when it started to become a distraction (players were actually turning and looking at him and he was right by me), I called "time" and inquired about which team he was with as I was going to speak to the coach about keeping his fans under control.  The fan says "I'm not with either team, I just came to watch the games".  So tell him that he needs to quiet down or I'll get the site director to make him leave.  He looks at me flabbergasted and says "I was just having fun.  Isn't heckling the umpire a part of baseball?".  

Responsibility for policing behavior outside the fences is the responsibility of the Board of Directors, so your first move should be to a board member, in my humble opinion.  Oddly, the tournament affidavit template contradicts this and requires the manager to sign that he is responsible.

2013 Rules Instruction Manual (RIM):
3.18-- The local league shall provide proper protection sufficient to preserve order and to prevent spectators from entering the field. Either team may refuse to play until the field is cleared.

“The Right Call” Casebook -- Comment: Managers are not responsible for the actions of the spectators. You cannot forfeit a game because of spectator actions.

INSTRUCTOR COMMENTS:

• The responsibility for actions of the spectator’s falls to the league’s Board of Directors, never the manager.
• The umpire may suspend play until the actions are corrected (see rule 9.01(f)), but never forfeit or threaten to forfeit a game.
• Leagues may not write a rule that shifts responsibility to anyone other than the board.

 

Tournament Team Eligibility Affidavit

CERTIFICATION BY TEAM MANAGER

. . .

5) I am solely responsible for the behavior of my team, the supporters and fans;