Unruly Fan - How would you handle?

[HammerPIAA]

Guys, wanted your opinion on how you'd handle this.............Pennsylvania Middle School game, FED rules.  Well played, tight game, HT ends up winning on a walk off single, 2-1.  Im on the plate.  Early in the game, my partner (correctly) balks the HT pitcher but the pitch continues and the VT batter hits an inside the park homer.  Meanwhile we are both killing the play as is required in FED rules.  VT head coach is not happy as it wipes 2 runs off the board but understands that rules is rules.  5th inning HT completes 4-6-3 DP and my partner (IMO correctly) calls the force at 2nd (ball there in plenty of time, typical "neighborhood play" where SS is close enough to the bag where there's no way you're calling the runner safe).  Loudmouth mom on the VT side starts bitching about the play to ME and although I ignore her, she continues to chirp for the next 2 innings.  Gets very tiresome to listen to, but I let it go because I have to maintain focus on this game, and mainly because it wasn't my call.  So, given the 2 plays indicated above earlier there is probably some frustration on the VT side.  It should be noted that the VT HC did not complain about the force play or the balk call once the rule was explained to him.

Game ends as described above, we shake hands with the coaches, both tell us "good job" and we leave the field together and head back to the parking lot about 100 yards away.  I felt we both really DID do a good job.  As we are walking there, loudmouth mom approaches us both together and (initially, politely) asks again about the force play I described above.  Insists the SS was off the bag and the kid was safe.  

Now, my personal policy is that often after a game a parent will ask about a rule or specific play after a game, and if it is done politely or non-confrontationally, I generally have no problem giving a brief explanation before I head on my way.  99.5% of the time I get a "thanks for the explanation."  So in this particular instance, my partner replies, "ma'am, I had his foot on the bag."  She's not buying it - we explain one more time that its a judgement call and that the foot was on the bag.  Still no agreement.  At that point, its been about 2 minutes and I finally realize that this isnt going anywhere, so I but in and say, "thanks ma'am, but we explained the call twice and there's nothing more to talk about" and we both turn away and leave to go to our cars.  

At that point she becomes very agitated and starts walking after us calling me "very arrogant" and asking for my name as she intends to "report me to the PIAA" because Im "so arrogant".  We very calmly (hard to do at this point) keep walking away but she keeps following with her rant.  Im literally at my car taking off my shirt and chest protector and she's still yelling at me.  Not threateningly but at this point its more of a somewhat amusing annoyance.  Finally to shut her up, I give her my name so hopefully she'll just shut up and leave.  She then asks me if I have a business card.  Laughingly, I say "no" and she starts on the "arrogant" thing again.

Sorry for the long story, but I wanted your all's take on the above and whether I handled it properly.  Only time in 3 years of doing MS and HS games that I had a parent act like such a jackass after a game so I dont have a lot of experience in this department.............thanks!

 

[dookiexman]

I think you could have easily just asked the coach to control his fans, though that might not have solved the problem in the parking lot.

At the point where she is following you, you could ask her if she need you to get the authorities there because she was becoming a bit too close to harassment. "Ma'am, I have explained the call to you and I need to leave. If you do not end this, I will have someone in authority come here and end it so that I can leave in peace. What would you like me to do?"

[Rich Ives]

In the age of cameras everywhere and replay reviews officially happening the neighborhood play is rapidly becoming extinct.

[sdix00]

I have done this twice with good results. Once after a heated EJ and another time in the parking lot. 

After the EJ, the coach continued to yell at me.  I told him in a calmer and much quieter tone, "Coach, everything you say from this point forward goes in my game report to the league. So far, all I have is the ejection and nothing else."     He stopped immediately and didn't continue with anything of note, but if he had, i would have taken two steps away and turned 90 degrees and started writing and not responded to him again. 

In the parking lot, it was a little harder.   The mom, of course, followed me out and belittled me.   I gave her the same speech about the game report to the league , and she didn't seem to care much.   She asked for my name, and I responded with "No problem, I'll trade you my name for yours so I can attach it to my report."  (I already knew who's mom she was, obviously.)    She trailed off at that point.

 

I still wonder if pulling out a cell phone camera would make sense in that situation.   Lately, cameras everywhere seem to be reducing the asshole problem in this country.    Luckily, it happens rarely enough that I don't spend a lot of time on it.

 

All that said, probably the best advice is getting in your car with your gear on and leaving.   Smaller timeline, less opportunity for anything to go wrong, less to explain later. 

 

Edited June 9, 2015 by sdix00

[HammerPIAA]

I think you could have easily just asked the coach to control his fans, though that might not have solved the problem in the parking lot.

At the point where she is following you, you could ask her if she need you to get the authorities there because she was becoming a bit too close to harassment. "Ma'am, I have explained the call to you and I need to leave. If you do not end this, I will have someone in authority come here and end it so that I can leave in peace. What would you like me to do?"

​Love it.  Never occurred to me to threaten to contact the cops (because at that point, there wasnt really anyone else in "authority" around).  Again, I've never encountered anyone like this so wasnt sure what recourse I might have.  

[HammerPIAA]

I have done this twice with good results. Once after a heated EJ and another time in the parking lot. 

After the EJ, the coach continued to yell at me.  I told him in a calmer and much quieter tone, "Coach, everything you say from this point forward goes in my game report to the league. So far, all I have is the ejection and nothing else."     He stopped immediately and didn't continue with anything of note, but if he had, i would have taken two steps away and turned 90 degrees and started writing and responded to him again. 

In the parking lot, it was a little harder.   The mom, of course, followed me out and belittled me.   I gave her the same speech about the game report to the league , and she didn't seem to care much.   She asked for my name, and I responded with "No problem, I'll trade you my name for yours so I can attach it to my report."  (I already knew who's mom she was, obviously.)    She trailed off at that point.

 

I still wonder if pulling out a cell phone camera would make sense in that situation.   Lately, cameras everywhere seem to be reducing the asshole problem in this country.    Luckily, it happens rarely enough that I don't spend a lot of time on it.

 

​Great advice!  Didnt know if there was precedent to write up a report on a fan when there was no ejection of a coach or player in the game.  Wish I had the aforethought to bust out my cell phone video............just was taken aback by the situation................

[umpstu]

Guys, wanted your opinion on how you'd handle this.............Pennsylvania Middle School game, FED rules.  Well played, tight game, HT ends up winning on a walk off single, 2-1.  Im on the plate.  Early in the game, my partner (correctly) balks the HT pitcher but the pitch continues and the VT batter hits an inside the park homer.  Meanwhile we are both killing the play as is required in FED rules.  VT head coach is not happy as it wipes 2 runs off the board but understands that rules is rules.  5th inning HT completes 4-6-3 DP and my partner (IMO correctly) calls the force at 2nd (ball there in plenty of time, typical "neighborhood play" where SS is close enough to the bag where there's no way you're calling the runner safe).  Loudmouth mom on the VT side starts bitching about the play to ME and although I ignore her, she continues to chirp for the next 2 innings.  Gets very tiresome to listen to, but I let it go because I have to maintain focus on this game, and mainly because it wasn't my call.  So, given the 2 plays indicated above earlier there is probably some frustration on the VT side.  It should be noted that the VT HC did not complain about the force play or the balk call once the rule was explained to him.

Game ends as described above, we shake hands with the coaches, both tell us "good job" and we leave the field together and head back to the parking lot about 100 yards away.  I felt we both really DID do a good job.  As we are walking there, loudmouth mom approaches us both together and (initially, politely) asks again about the force play I described above.  Insists the SS was off the bag and the kid was safe.  

Now, my personal policy is that often after a game a parent will ask about a rule or specific play after a game, and if it is done politely or non-confrontationally, I generally have no problem giving a brief explanation before I head on my way.  99.5% of the time I get a "thanks for the explanation."  So in this particular instance, my partner replies, "ma'am, I had his foot on the bag."  She's not buying it - we explain one more time that its a judgement call and that the foot was on the bag.  Still no agreement.  At that point, its been about 2 minutes and I finally realize that this isnt going anywhere, so I but in and say, "thanks ma'am, but we explained the call twice and there's nothing more to talk about" and we both turn away and leave to go to our cars.  

At that point she becomes very agitated and starts walking after us calling me "very arrogant" and asking for my name as she intends to "report me to the PIAA" because Im "so arrogant".  We very calmly (hard to do at this point) keep walking away but she keeps following with her rant.  Im literally at my car taking off my shirt and chest protector and she's still yelling at me.  Not threateningly but at this point its more of a somewhat amusing annoyance.  Finally to shut her up, I give her my name so hopefully she'll just shut up and leave.  She then asks me if I have a business card.  Laughingly, I say "no" and she starts on the "arrogant" thing again.

Sorry for the long story, but I wanted your all's take on the above and whether I handled it properly.  Only time in 3 years of doing MS and HS games that I had a parent act like such a jackass after a game so I dont have a lot of experience in this department.............thanks!

 

​Hop in the car and run her over.

[HammerPIAA]

​Hop in the car and run her over.

​Dont think that didnt run through my mind.......................would have done the world a favor!

[scrounge]

In the age of cameras everywhere and replay reviews officially happening the neighborhood play is rapidly becoming extinct.

​Yea....we don't have too many replay reviews at the middle school games around here.

[Cav]

...I ignore her...Gets very tiresome to listen to, but I let it go ...

​That should be your new personal policy all the way home.  There are only three types of people sitting in the stands: those that are there for the home team; those that are there for the visiting team; and, possibly one there to evaluate you...all are right in their own mind...all are

Lately, cameras everywhere seem to be reducing the asshole problem in this country.

​Not really.  He's still in office.

Never occurred to me to threaten to contact the cops... 

​Check out your state laws about menacing; criminal and aggravated. 

...I generally have no problem giving a brief explanation before I head on my way...

​Unless you are married to or are comfortable hunting with loaded weapons with that person, simply rely on your new personal policy: ignore and let it go.  

 

[HammerPIAA]

​That should be your new personal policy all the way home.  There are only three types of people sitting in the stands: those that are there for the home team; those that are there for the visiting team; and, possibly one there to evaluate you...all are right in their own mind...all are

​Not really.  He's still in office.

​Check out your state laws about menacing; criminal and aggravated. 

​Unless you are married to or are comfortable hunting with loaded weapons with that person, simply rely on your new personal policy: ignore and let it go.  

 

​Good advice all around, thanks!

[Dbellyflop]

I can see having a conversation after a game. But a chirpy mom, who's kid was probably the one called out, doesn't end well. 

[catsbackr]

"Ma'am, you need to walk away."

[maven]

I just keep taking off clothes until they leave.

[HammerPIAA]

I can see having a conversation after a game. But a chirpy mom, who's kid was probably the one called out, doesn't end well. 

​Yup, I found out the hard way.  Her initial approach was not confrontational or obnoxious.  So, we engaged her.  When it became obvious after 2 minutes that was a mistake, we cut bait, politely said good day and walked away.  She didnt like that.

[Majordave]

Self-Awareness.................is a wonderful thing.  Too bad it doesn't exist with some folks.

 

Kids make parents crazy.

[kylehutson]

Kids make parents crazy.

​...and vice versa

[Replacematt]

I just keep taking off clothes until they leave.

​Tried that once. Didn't know I had torn a hole in the crotch of my compression shorts. Still had my undershirt on, but it looked like I had bubble gum stuck to the bottom of it.

[Rich Ives]

​Yea....we don't have too many replay reviews at the middle school games around here.

​I understand that.

Do you understand that the neighborhood play is becoming extinct because people see it isn't called any more at the high levels, thus rendering the former justifications moot?

[spiritump]

In Fed and NCAA there I the F.PS.R.  there is no need for the neighborhood play.  MLB it is a safety issue but in the other codes the F.P.S.R. takes care of the safety issue. 

[Replacematt]

​I understand that.

Do you understand that the neighborhood play is becoming extinct because people see it isn't called any more at the high levels, thus rendering the former justifications moot?

​Around here, the neighborhood play went away because of consistent proper enforcement of FPSR. In the section finals one year, I didn't give F4 the out because he came across the bag and caught it about two feet off. His coach was the TD--the acting head coach gave me a little grief before his boss told him to "shut up, he wasn't on the bag." He then came to me after the game, shaking his head, saying that he keeps emphasizing that the umpires will protect the fielder if something illegal happens.

[bluejerred]

I just keep taking off clothes until they leave.

​^^^^Best advice^^^^^^^

Ma'am, I'm going to start undressing.  I'll answer your question, but is it really worth the price of admission?

[ricka56]

I just keep taking off clothes until they leave.

​​Sometimes a mom will use a disputed call as a pretext to come watch me undress.
Then her argument turns into asking about the post game drink-up location.  

[maven]

​​Sometimes a mom will use a disputed call as a pretext to come watch me undress.Then her argument turns into asking about the post game drink-up location.  

​Ricka, you a playah!

[kylehutson]

​​Sometimes a mom will use a disputed call as a pretext to come watch me undress.Then her argument turns into asking about the post game drink-up location.  

​Meanwhile, back in reality-world...