New problem for aging, bionic umpire...

[wolfe_man]

Hey everyone, I’m a bit embarrassed to ask, but I need some advice. After two spinal fusion surgeries, I finally got back on the field last night—first time in 18 months. I’ve worked hard to get in shape, but I didn’t realize I can’t bend over to clean home plate like I used to. My range of motion maxes out about 8” from the plate, and while I’ll keep working on it, I might never get all the way back.

So, if you were watching a high school game and saw an umpire who couldn’t clear the plate the usual way, which alternative would you be okay with?

1. Squatting down like a catcher and cleaning it from the side
2. Using a longer-handled paint brush and doing it the normal way (butt towards pitcher and bent over from waist)
3. Using a telescopic plate brush, only extending it as much as needed and doing the normal way

I only do high school and some summer ball, and I don’t plan to move up or retire—I love being out there. I care about how we look on the field and don’t want to seem “bush league,” but physically, I just can’t bend over right now.

 

What do you all think is the best option?

[BLWizzRanger]

Getting old is a bitch.  My knees will be replaced once I hit my deductible but I can't imagine what you are dealing with.  Good for your spirit to get back out there.

I think you got two, well three, choices. 

1. Just swipe your foot over the plate to move the big stuff.  I mean, how much dirt on the plate really affects your calls of balls and strikes?  Just swipe the corners really.  Cleaning the plate is only for you, the batter and catcher/pitcher.  Not the coaches or parents which can't really see the whole plate anyway.

2, Get a larger handle - paint brush or homemade franken-brush, if you will, to meet the distance needed. I am not sure a telescopic one would work with any due force unless it is a thicker metal, which would be heavier and probably wouldn't fit in your bag/pocket. (my first thought was a auto parts mirror that telescopes into areas not seen easily when hearing 'telescopes')

3. Get Derek to make an attachment for your shoe that will help with number 1 above.  A small piece of turf glued to the toe to help with the swiping.

Good luck sir in figuring this one out.

[834k3r]

43 minutes ago, BLWizzRanger said:

Get Derek to make an attachment for your shoe that will help with number 1 above.  A small piece of turf glued to the toe to help with the swiping.

This would be fantastic--but I think the glue would have to be high adhesive, but able to be replaced periodically.

Get to work, @DerekGDS! 🤣

Seriously, though, I've seen lots of umpires use @BLWizzRanger's Option 1. I don't think anyone holds it against them. Option 2 would look janky, IMHO.

[grayhawk]

Too bad those plate shoes/brush combo that ump-attire put out as an April Fools joke weren't real!

I saw do whatever you need to do and to hell with how it looks. It's a miracle you're back out there!

[dumbdumb]

just throwing in options..maybe a scissor type stance can get you lower for regular brush/extended brush

https://topratedconsumer.com/leaf-blower/?cpid=bb62a8d5-9099-4614-b9c8-c2c46fb98dfd&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=o&utm_campaign=533317033&utm_term=1352402007600724&utm_content=84525547601657&tgt=kwd-84526357607595:loc-190&d=t&qs=hand held air blower&kw=mini handheld blower&msclkid=7c6399144a7e112ff3f3f0c29833a0ed

[wolfe_man]

I think I’m going with @grayhawks suggestion. 😂

I hope this is only temporary, but hitting it with my foot looks lazy - and is hard on shoes.

I’m thinking of trying a black paint brush. At first glance, it’ll appear just like a plate brush… just with a handle which my hand will cover.   I’m thinking it’s the least noticeable option.

[The Man in Blue]

 

I am not finding one in navy, though . . . 

[SeeingEyeDog]

So, yeah...all of the above. We have a few guys in my association with some back and bending issues and we seen a little bit of all of this. The most popular option is the telescoping handled plate brush. (I like this option because it communicates that the umpire is having mobility issues. Some might draw negative assumptions about an umpire who wipes the plate with their shoe...) And yes, I have seen 3 guys use a blower device. A little but clunky but, if your desire is to clear the plate and you can't bend over...it gives the best results, hands down.

I have a good friend who works for UnderArmour. Despite being an international company now with annual revenue exceeding $5.0B, they still very much have maintained an environment like that of founder Kevin Plank working out of his mother's house and the trunk of his car in the early days, fostering that entrepreneurial and innovative spirit. They openly encourage and welcome all innovative ideas openly. Most of course, never make it to market...like the plate shoe with integrated plate brush. Yes, as mentioned above, Ump-Attire parodied this in an April Fool's post but, my buddy said someone presented a mock up of one at UnderArmour but, they passed...

~Dawg

[wolfe_man]

I already texted this to @MadMax and @DerekGDS but I told them I was going to do this route... a la Frank Drebin.

 

 Oh, did I mention I also got a cup shot in the first game back?  I am sold on the Diamond MMA cup & jock combo, it's saved me several times now.  They really need to start teaching these catchers how to stop pitches in the dirt from hitting us. 😀

[BLWizzRanger]

Is it time to allow the below to be embroidered into one's ballbag?  Would that give everyone the notion that there is some sort of impairment? Maybe one with an umpire bending over cleaning the plate stick figure?

[wolfe_man]

15 minutes ago, BLWizzRanger said:

Is it time to allow the below to be embroidered into one's ballbag?  Would that give everyone the notion that there is some sort of impairment? Maybe one with an umpire bending over cleaning the plate stick figure?

I've got one for the car, why not the uni or bb?  Just kidding of course. I'm trying to avoid giving the fans/parents/coaches any reason, beyond the normal, to single me out.  I want to be as inconspicuous as possible.

[MadMax]

8 hours ago, wolfe_man said:

I'm trying to avoid giving the fans/parents/coaches any reason, beyond the normal, to single me out.  I want to be as inconspicuous as possible.

Listen, you want to talk inconspicuous… we’ve seen umpires wear flamingo pink (without relevant reason), we’ve seen them use ancient rafts / balloons, we’ve seen them wear cargo pants (sans ball bags), we’ve seen them use a football helmet as a mask, we’ve seen them set up their plate stance 15 feet – fifteen – behind the catcher, we’ve seen them drag no less than a red wagon of “essentials” onto the field, parked at the backstop, we’ve seen them bellow overly dramatic strike (and strike 3) calls… 

… Etcetera, etcetera, et-freakin’-cetera. 

I think you’re fine, Wolfe.