Best overheard comments

[Old Nr 24]

We've all heard them...from the stands, from coaches, from players, and from fellow umpires. Some are brutal, some are senseless, but most are just downright funny. I'll begin this thread with one actually overheard by my partner during a private school league game in Maryland about 15 years ago.

My partner was a known joker, and as we were about to start a game on a very hot and muggy day, he sat a small jug of water just outside the backstop. Since the benches were very close, he said jokingly to a couple of players sitting there, "Now don't you drink that. That's 'umpire water' and if you drink it you'll go blind!"

We're in about the 4th inning when after a called strike that was "questionable at best," I see my partner behind the plate drop to his knees, pull off the mask, and put his hands over his face. I didn't see him get hit, but I was instantly concerned for his well being, and rushed to the plate as I called time. When I arrived I asked, "John, are you okay?"

When he looked up I realized for the first time he was not hurt, but laughing so hard he was about to cry. He slowly managed to stand, and we walk slowly toward first base as he tells me, "You know after that last call one of the players on the bench turns to his buddy and in a totally deadpan voice said, 'Must be the water.'"

See, even players have a good sense of humor.

[JamesC]

I've been calling local ball and summer league games and all star tournaments for 8 years now. I'm a junior in college and have always loved being on the diamond and once I finished playing I knew this was the only way I was going to be able to continue my love. However, this is my first year umpiring high school ball and my girlfriend went to a game with me this past Saturday. She usually goes quite regularly with me and no one really knows she is with me, so she listens to what everyone says and will tell me about all the comments after the game.

After 8 years of calling, I have never heard the comment I heard Saturday. My partner and I were working a game in which I was on the bases. As we would make signals occassionally to each other (infield fly rule, outs, coverages, etc.) there was a lady in the stands who just insisted that he and I were giving the other team signals and were helping the other team out. She was obviously dead set on this and pointing it out to all the fans in the stands. I was in complete awe after hearing this after the game! Unbelievable!!

[Umpire in Chief]

Welcome James. That's classic. These people who think we as umpires really have an interest in who wins or loses.

[Stan W.]

I used to call quite a few games at a very old field....open back stop, bleachers all the way around.....the plate is a mere 15 feet or so from the spectators with just chain link in between....

Just prior to the start of the game, I was standing on the 3rd base line...and heard the coach who was going around behind home plate to the first base coaching box stop to talk to a man. The guy had found a seat right behind the plate....

He told the coach he got there early to get a good seat to "ride the umpire"...and that he would get the coach some "extra strikes" today.....

Coach said........"Wont work with this umpire"......."so dont try to do me any favors"......

I always liked that coach.......

[someoneinca]

Once when I was behind the plate on a LL Minors game, a kid saw a pitch coming on the inside corner and thought it was going to hit him. When he tried to turn out of the way, his back leg ended up on the inside part of the plate. Of course, I called the ball dead and called a strike and said his leg was on the plate.

Instead of everyone on his team freaking out and saying it hit him so he should get first, I overheard one parent say, "This guy's good."

[maxpower74]

This happened to an umpire in our association. He was a senior umpire and was his last year because his eyesight just wasn't good enough anymore. As he is walking off the field, one of the coaches comes running up to him. "Hey Blue.... you dropped your cell phone." He replied, "That's not my cell phone". Coach counters "Sure it is. Look, it says you missed 15 calls" We all still roll when it's talked about!

[Aging_Arbiter]

This is another "girlfriend spy" story. My partner and I were working a 9-10 district playoff game, neutral field.. Both coaches know me because I help train their umpires. I'm on the bases in C with runners on 1st & 2nd. Ball hit just in front of F6 who kicks the ball a bit (hey, I said they were 9-10s) but being a heads up F6, he retrieves the ball and comes up gunning for 2nd. Well, when F4 has his foot on the bag, he doesn't have control of the ball. When he picked up the ball, he didn't have his foot on the bag. I call safe as he turns to throw runner at first. Another safe call ensues. Well, my girlfriend is sitting on the (now) defensive side, and about to go on the offense herself. She's been with me long enough, she has her own lines. Naturally, a couple of parents who just dont understand that we are often times 100-200 feet closer to the play than they are.

Two dad's start going on about my call at 2nd. She lets them go on for a bit just to see how bad they will make thenselves out to be. (Did I mention that she has sat through our umpire clinic? This was just to shut HER up towards other umpires.....when at her son's games) Well, at one point she starts laying into these guys. "I don't see you two out there umpiring? What's wrong, don't know how to get into it? I'm sure that I can get you registered for the next clinic"......yadda yaddda yadda........

It just so happend, those two dads were parked right behind us in the lot. On the way by, my partner and I were wondering why they made it a point to congratulate us on calling a good game. As they are getting in their cars, the wives of these two walked by and asked, is that blonde lady with you? Well, I owned up by asking "why? what did she do this time?" One wife says, "all she did was put our husbands in place. Can she come back tomorrow?"

My partner and I were in tears.

[mstaylor]

That's just too funny. My wife just lays them out, which is why she doesn't come see me work.

[Umpire in Chief]

My wife has been to maybe 1 game of mine.

[BrianC14]

My wife has been to maybe 1 game of mine.

Same here - - the one game that SWMBO attended was the game I'm working in my avatar, but that's it. (That was a special occasion game).

Honestly, I wouldn't want her to hear what gets said about me.. .the things I routinely ignore. It's not that she'd put anyone in their place, but I think she'd just hear it, and put up with it.

[carolinablue]

Shoot, I'm married to a redhead for 19 years. Sometimes I'm tempted to look over at the spectators and say " Is that all you got. " :cheers:

[mstaylor]

Same here - - the one game that SWMBO attended was the game I'm working in my avatar, but that's it. (That was a special occasion game).

Honestly, I wouldn't want her to hear what gets said about me.. .the things I routinely ignore. It's not that she'd put anyone in their place, but I think she'd just hear it, and put up with it.

My wife is generally mild mannered but when she hears fans yakking she gets upset. She has asked them if they have any idea the hours of training and study I put into baseball each year. She complains about the time that I spend training and teaching but she is proud of my abilities.

[Umpire in Chief]

Just recently my 8 y/o daughter asked to go to a game of mine with me. I've been hesitant because I think she would get upset if she heard someone (other than mommy tha is) yelling at me. I'll probably take her this fall but will pick the game appropriately.

[okump96]

Just recently my 8 y/o daughter asked to go to a game of mine with me. I've been hesitant because I think she would get upset if she heard someone (other than mommy tha is) yelling at me. I'll probably take her this fall but will pick the game appropriately.

I took my wife and 6yr old daughter with me for a weekend juco set this spring. One of my worst weekends of the year, (not because of them but the whining of the coaches) both days the rats were on my and my partner's butts for stupid crap. My partner was ready to hang it up after sunday and we didn't do anything wrong. Just one of them days.

But the little one enjoyed herself, got to see daddy work a game, got to stay in a hotel room for the 1st time, and she still talks about it like it was yesterday.

Warren go for it, thats less time away from her and i think she'll enjoy it. Just be sure the wife or someone is there to keep an eye on her.

[LMSANS]

I got my 17-yo son to a JV softball game I was working because his friend (a girl) was on one of the teams. The girl didn't play anymore after that and my wife has less than zero interest in watching me officiate.

My father has been to a few games, but it's like I'm still playing..."misssed a pitch there?"..."Was that really foul?"...on the way home. :clap:

[mstaylor]

Larry:

It's funny because my Dad refused to umpire at all. He managed but would not umpire. He watched me umpire early in my carreer because I did a ton of his games. I even threatened to toss him one night. Of course I also threatened my son.

Edited September 9, 2009 by mstaylor

[Aging_Arbiter]

Well since we are dragging the kids into this.....My daughter came out to spend the summer with me. After a few trips around town, she says to me "Mom (my ex wife) always said that you couldn't pass by a ball field without stopping to smell the dirt"

[SNIPERBBB]

On the "officials out to get us" thing, the people that say this are usually out of their minds. The only way that that really happens is that the official really has the mind set to call things against a team all night. Its pretty obvious to when it happens as it shows up in their mechanics and mannerisms, and it will show up quick.

If you are actually trying to do your job, you do not have the time to even think about biasing a call against a team.

[blindumpire99]

Just recently my 8 y/o daughter asked to go to a game of mine with me. I've been hesitant because I think she would get upset if she heard someone (other than mommy tha is) yelling at me./QUOTE]

Yep, I knew it! I knew it all along! I knew this was Warren "In training" so to speak..

I kust didn't know he called football as well..

Sorry chief,, couldn't resist, BUT ya kinda walked into that one!

Last night, I am in C position during a fall ball game. Defensive team only had 9 players so this guy had no one else he could rely on I guess to help him out by subbing in...

During a pitching change, I casually turned around and moved a little to get the blood reflowing. The centerfielder has walked ( more like waddled) in towards the SS who has turned around and I hear the centerfielder tell him, "Man I think I just s**t in my pants!" and he had every kinda look on his face that he probably had...

he never asked me if he could go in or asked his coach is he could run to the porta potties on the sidelines...

I had my face buried in my cap!:clap:

Edited September 10, 2009 by blindumpire99

[Umpire in Chief]

I love that commercial.

[okump42]

I took my wife and 6yr old daughter with me for a weekend juco set this spring. One of my worst weekends of the year, (not because of them but the whining of the coaches) both days the rats were on my and my partner's butts for stupid crap. My partner was ready to hang it up after sunday and we didn't do anything wrong. Just one of them days.

But the little one enjoyed herself, got to see daddy work a game, got to stay in a hotel room for the 1st time, and she still talks about it like it was yesterday.

Warren go for it, thats less time away from her and i think she'll enjoy it. Just be sure the wife or someone is there to keep an eye on her.

I remember that weekend quite well Thomas... if that's the weekend your talking about

[okump96]

I remember that weekend quite well Thomas... if that's the weekend your talking about

no sir that was a different weekend. the one you're talking about they were only on your butt.

matt and i had eosc at redlands on sat, and then eosc v enid at uco on sunday. couldn't seem to make the home coaches happy either day.:HD:

[Kevin Finnerty]

Great topic. (And after reading it, and gaining some insights, my wife is no longer going with me to my road games this weekend. )

The story: I have a tendency to make wise in regular life, but as an umpire, I'm pretty straight and professional, as I am in any other professional role. So the following comment is one I am capable of making, but I wouldn't.

My plate partner was hearing a steady dose of that-was-terribles and where-was-thats from the visiting side for a couple of innings. He's a tough, thick-skinned, old warrior, but he was going to draw the line fairly soon.

Now in L.A., if the coach is ejected, the game is over. No assistant, nothing; game over. So, we muzzle the coach and confine him to the dugout first, and if he pops off, we go to Starbucks or some pizza place.

Well, my partner reached his ceiling, and called time, took off his mask and confined the coach to the dugout and ordered him to remain quiet. Then, as a way of reminding the coach that if he pops off and gets dumped, the game's over, my partner went over to this guy standing by the fence in a burgundy sweater vest, and said, "If he says one more word, go start the bus!"

I spun on my heels like Tony Bennett and faced the outfield and started crying. I have seen some funny stuff, but that one got me the worst. I had tears in my eyes for the next three pitches.