Mine isn't funny but it's something I'll never regret. I called the Police.
I umpired his game on a storybook beautiful day. It was Blue sky, sunshine and baseball. I know he was nine or ten years old. My memory of him is not all that clear until he came to bat. I was umpiring a kid game as a favor for my assignor. I saw the pitch that came hard at him, I cringed knowing he was going to be hit and I watched him crumple when the ball hit him square in the body. He went down and the tears flowed..... I bent to help him, and try to comfort him. His coach ran out and we lifted his shirt to see the mark the ball made. And then we saw it, it was already red and angry looking. But when lifting the shirt, I saw the other marks the angry purple bruises that only fists and adult hands can make and way too many to be accidental..... He tugged his shirt down and got up and he said he was fine. He took a moment to dry his tears and kid like ran off to first.The game, of course, was more important than his getting hurt. I was the one who called the police. I'll never regret that. His coach bought the hotdogs after the game, more to delay the departure of the team, while I called the police. I heard later he was taken out of the home and his parental abuser was charged. I heard he moved to live with relatives. I never saw him again.
I wonder so much about this boy. How could anyone do that to a child. On TV now there are ads for reporting child abuse....and the reason most don’t is "how can I be sure?". I can tell you that I was, that day, and remain today, 100% totally sure. The evidence of the beatings that boy was taking left me no grey area.... I wonder if baseball was his refuge from the monster. I wonder if he is ok. I wonder if he ever knew how much he has affected my life and my relationship with my son and with the boys I umpire. I wonder if the coach and I will ever be able to meet and not talk about that day......so far its the first thing we mention when we meet after a long off season. I wonder how many others are out there. I wonder if he is happy.
Best thing I ever did on a ball field?.....I called the Police.