Rulekeep

Every time I see a thread like this I wonder why y'all are wasting your time arguing what could be a very personal topic for some people and for others, something they don't even think about, but here's my bit anyways. I'm an Army-bound Air Force res/aux airman. Captain of both an armed and a close order drill team. My great-grandfather was a Navy linguist in the Korean War. My brother is a future Puddle Pirate. Closest family friend was a captain in the Army, flying helicopters. Veterans don't own the flag. Veterans don't own the Star Spangled Banner. Veterans don't own America. I highly doubt ball players wake up and say "let's go offend veterans." Get offended if you want, but that's your decision.

I'm in the dugout and my umpiring mentor, who is working the game (and also probably has 20/200 vision, to be honest), walks over to inspect our bats. He looks at two or three and I say "They were all legal last week." He drops the one he was holding and as he walks away, he says with complete seriousness, "Oh, well, never mind then. Carry on." Thirty seconds later he comes back and says "I'll probably get dinged on my evaluation for that." So he sorta feebly pats at the other bats and jogs out into position. Later in the game he makes this noise of disgust as the HPU (who we call Muppet Ump and has a history of leaving the game to get hosed in the bathroom) calls a pitch that LITERALLY HIT THE PLATE a strike. Another few of my buddies came into the park wearing MLB black and gray pants as I'm warming up and I yell at them "Ev! Bob! Didja just come from baseball?! Where's your navy?" And they say "We match, don't we?" "No! He's wearing heather and you're wearing charcoal!" "GEEK!" Such nice fellows, umpires.

I took Math 1 in sixth grade and passed with flying colors (yet I still screw up fractions and integers) then in seventh I was placed in pre-algebra with all the kids who had taken Math 2 and that's when I started slipping. This year was my second time taking algebra and next year I'll be in geometry, which should supposedly be easier for my dysalgebraic mind. If any of you feel like hearing some GREAT math student horror stories, hit up @ricka56. Some of them aren't even about me! I also passed my Spanish practical this afternoon. Tomorrow morning is my last final in biology, and then I'm free for three whole months... I seem to remember making a panicked post about being a high schooler in the fall. I survived!

My district only requires three math credits for graduation and the classes are algebra 1, geometry, algebra 2/trig, pre-calc, stats, calc. If you want to get to Calculus, you have to take every other class.

So when I walked into my class like that, my math teacher cracked up. But, that stuff is hard to get off.

Not for two more years!

I have never been more proud of a 68 percent in my life. I passed! I'm done! I never have to go back to algebra! (But on the other hand, my Spanish practical is today...)

My church's softball team is called the Trinity Sundae. (har har; we changed it to that from the Saints but our pitcher wanted us to be the Martyrs)

*drags out projector* *sets up Powerpoint* *puts on ump hat* "GREGORY ALLAN GIBSON WAS BORN OCTOBER 2, 1968, IN IRONTON, OHIO..."

Away I go.

​How neat! It sounds like you attended school about the same time as Chad Bentz-he's back after his pro stint. The town really probably hasn't changed much since you left. Still have sad little dirt fields and bad clinics. I don't know if you ever called games on the Lena Loop fields, but the upper field has been turned into part of a disc golf course, so that shows you about how much the Borough cares about baseball. Our Legion team is a combined team from both high schools (they built one near the Glacier probably five or six years ago) and they play at Adair-Kennedy and wow I just realized that anybody else reading this post has no idea what I'm talking about but anyways there's probably still a few LL umpires around, there's a fellow here named Rex who is still umpiring and he's been here probably 20ish years. If this Legion things works out I'll be probably traveling to Wrangell, Petersburg, Ketchikan, maybe even the Mat-Su area.

Lloyd McClendon got us one game away from the playoffs last year so I'mma pretend this didn't happen.

You count as one of those undocumented sources, Znajomy.

And then the AL UIC started throwing shade at you guys. "Mallory, if you want this, learn. Learn from respected peers. Do not go online and absorb rants and raves from undocumented sources."

I was CCed in an email from the Legion UIC and I'm laughing so hard at how he opened it. "Tom, I had the most engaging conversation last week when I made it out to that JDHS - TM high school baseball game. I met a young lady named Mallory. She is a freshman in high school and has an incredible passion for the art of umpiring baseball. Actually, she blew me away with her general knowledge of umpires at higher levels and her tenacity for wanting to get in the professional door and learn more about umpiring. She is from Juneau and has a passion for the art. It was pretty entertaning to see what she knew about MLB level umpires and their personalities, their professional careers, etc., to include her favorite umpire being Greg Gibson, #53 in the Jim Joyce crew." Come on, I don't talk THAT much about umpiring! However, he goes on to explain to the Anchorage UIC that he's going to get me qualified for Legion if it's the last thing he does. EDIT: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS WAS HIS BIT TO ANOTHER UMPIRE THAT I ALSO GOT CCed IN. "This email is a little late in coming and, to Mallory - I apologize for that, but I did have a chance to sit and visit with Mallory while watching the Juneau Douglas vs Thunder Mtn high school baseball game in Juneau. What an engaging conversation. Her favorite umpire is Greg Gibson, #53, in Jim Joyce's crew in the MLB. She has a dream - to become an MLB umpire. From the conversation I had with her for an hour+, it was very evident that she is hungry, she follows baseball umpiring, she has a working knowledge and is constantly information gathering on rules, rulebooks, every level of the game (Little League on up) for baseball, has gear, and wants into AL. Everything we look for in umpires - the hunger to learn, the passion for the art of umpiring. She is also into a couple (maybe more) different umpire forums. That has led her to some great conversations, communications with umpires around the US, which has in turn helped her find opportunities this summer, for learning. She has on her schedule to hit up the LA Dodgers game on the day that the umpire crew does a short umpire clinic for interested aspiring umpires. She has also met someone in the Mid-American Conference who hosts fall clinic in Missouri that she is considering. She studies umpiring techniques, she studies umpires, she has that glimmer in her eye when she starts talking about her dream. She is 15! She is a freshman in high school! She wants this! It was a very engaging conversation. Not often do any of us find someone at this age, knowing that she wants to pursue umpiring." what is this i am a simple umpire potato

Notifications don't show up on mobile when I know there should be some.

​"Youth is wasted on the young!" You should be happy just with the fact it's a change There's no point trying to fix something that isn't broken. Not all changes are necessary. @kylehutson Your supercomputer doesn't scare me, come back when your YouTube videos have 30,000+ views. :b

This is extremely distressing and it took me a solid fifteen minutes to figure out how to reply without quoting you eight times and the banners are all screwed up please send help the mobile users are going to die out here on our own why would you do such a cruel thing this is THE most confusing mobile layout I have ever seen. *incoherent sobbing from the most tech-savvy person on the site*

I talked to the Legion umpires in my region and they're all pissing themselves over a kid wanting to get involved because apparently they can send me to camps and schools and stuff. My supervisor also has a pair of Davishins he's gonna float my way and boy is this exciting. I do get baseball this year! Now I can stop being bitter towards the softball umpires! (Can doesn't mean will but I'll try.) @ricka56 He's not around anymore.

I wouldn't say it's the rap that we've corrupted the world with...

Saving up dem $60 game pays to go. Should be fun and I get to rub it in all my teacher's faces that I was off having fun umpiring in Missouri while they were trying to explain class rules.

I haven't done it yet, cause I'm perfect. *sweeps second base and quietly laughs*

You are literally the only one who still talks about that, ya oversteamed piece of broccoli. That's a phenomenal piece of oversteamed broccoli, to you. And it is still the funniest umpire/coach story that I've ever heard. I won't let it fall into obscurity and the story gets better with each telling...what are friends for. I thought friends were for telling the media all GOOD things about each other when they're in SI or Referee Magazine-don't mention my Doc Marten's on the field either and I'll get you some tickets to a Rangers game on a day when they're NOT playing the Mariners.

Well, I managed to contact my state Legion and the UIC emailed me. He was so excited to tell me that he graduated from Jim Evans that he didn't proofread his email but what I think he was trying to say is 60 bucks a game, 25 dollar travel bonus, all in the beautiful towns of Anchorage, Wasilla, and Eagle River. *politely tells him I live in the wrong region and smashes laptop* Hopefully he can point me in the direction of the local Legion umpires. More updates (and possibly ruined technology) soon.