Any tips for conflict resolution?

[Double Up]

Curious to hear some of your advice for conflict management beyond the typical toss

[maven]

Conflict between whom?

Most newer umpires struggle with umpire/coach conflict. The standard approach to managing coach arguments is to understand what they're allowed to do.

They're allowed to ask for an explanation of a call. They may request time and approach the umpire to ask for such an explanation. After that explanation is provided, they're to return to the dugout so that the game may resume.

They're not permitted to run onto the field yelling and screaming. They're not permitted to argue a judgment call. If they disagree with the application of a rule, then their remedy, if permitted by the league, is to protest the game at that point.

In practice, most coaches want their say. They want to see that the umpire understands their point of view, and can hear their resistance to the call. This "say" should not extend to other calls from the current game, to other calls from other games or umpires, or anything else.

How we handle this kind of conflict—generally known as game management—is an art, not a science. It's the most difficult aspect of officiating any sport, not least because the officials have all the power. This discrepancy can aggravate a coach's sense of being aggrieved, that the officials "have it in" for them. Sarcasm almost never plays well.

Learning game management is often the main difference between good officials and great ones. Even pro umpires can reach a limit with their game management skills and cannot progress to the next level.

The most common error that amateur umpires make in game management is to keep talking in order to convince a coach. The coach is not going to think we're right—he's right, not us. Our goal should never be to convince a coach, but rather to resume play.

Focus on what's up to us: we need to communicate clearly the rule we're applying, and our judgment of what just happened. Coach is entitled to disagree. He has his say, we have our say, and the game gets going again. Don't tolerate anything more. 

[The Man in Blue]

Sleep on the couch for a night or two?

[Mudisfun]

What @maven said, plus understand that unless you are in the pro ranks somewhere, coaches do not get to 'get their monies worth' on anything. They may not be happy, they may not like a ruling, but they never, ever, get to pull the crap you see on TV in amateur youth baseball. 

Be approachable. Be calm. I try to always face the field and let the coaches face the stands. That way when they get animated, the people see him losing control, not me. Answer questions, not statements. They are competing to win, not you. They spend hours and hours a week with their team practicing, you don't. Understand where they are coming from and it makes it easier to understand why they are passionate and want the call to go their way. This should not influence you, but understanding the why helps understand their reactions.

And then there are just some ass hats out there who are, well... ass hats.

 

 

 

[834k3r]

13 hours ago, maven said:

Our goal should never be to convince a coach, but rather to resume play.

I've learned to not take the bait and let coaches have their rhetorical monologues from the dugout. I have no problem talking to coaches about calls. When the discussion becomes more heated; that's where I struggle. This line was a light bulb for me.

Much appreciated.

[Double Up]

Agreed, on so many points.    I appreciate the feedback.  It's definitely an art not a science.

I learned a long time ago as a coach, how to approach an umpire with  " What did you see"  and those guys who "ask" rather than "tell" normally are not the problem.   And generally, in a well officiated game,  things don't go too far off the rails.     I think I'm approachable, and don't mind explaining what I saw or a rules interpretation,  I really just want to become a little better at managing conflict as it seems to just be part of the game.  I don't mind hearing the arguments,  hell; they might have a point.  What I will not tolerate however is the sarcasm and attempts to undermine my authority,  those types of comments go no further than said, and I'll let that be known.  I don't generally have problems with teams that I've done game for in the passed, it's always the team that have never seen me on their field before. 

I think I'm going to apply  thought of "don't argue with stupid"  when having to deal with thing like this. ..  keep the game moving should certainly be the focus in these cases because it doesn't matter how sensible you might explain yourself,  some guys are passed the point of no return and when you as the umpire fire back, onlookers  criticize your handling of the situation.  I understand now that it's basically a winless proposition in more cases than not.

 

 

 

[BigBlue4u]

Mudisfun:

"I try to always face the field and let the coaches face the stands. That way when they get animated, the people see him losing control, not me."

I certainly respect your opinion, but I do the exact opposite.  An animated coach is almost always going to get the crowd into it. That is why when I go to the mound to break up a conference, I go to the back of the mound.  That means the manager/coach has his back to the crowd.  If he does get animated, chances are the crowd won't pick up on it.

[Richvee]

2 hours ago, BigBlue4u said:

Mudisfun:

"I try to always face the field and let the coaches face the stands. That way when they get animated, the people see him losing control, not me."

I certainly respect your opinion, but I do the exact opposite.  An animated coach is almost always going to get the crowd into it. That is why when I go to the mound to break up a conference, I go to the back of the mound.  That means the manager/coach has his back to the crowd.  If he does get animated, chances are the crowd won't pick up on it.

Disagree. I’m a proponent of  turning the coach towards the stands. Let all those phones catch the coach losing his cool. 

[Mudisfun]

16 hours ago, BigBlue4u said:

Mudisfun:

"I try to always face the field and let the coaches face the stands. That way when they get animated, the people see him losing control, not me."

I certainly respect your opinion, but I do the exact opposite.  An animated coach is almost always going to get the crowd into it. That is why when I go to the mound to break up a conference, I go to the back of the mound.  That means the manager/coach has his back to the crowd.  If he does get animated, chances are the crowd won't pick up on it.

Completely agree with this and I do the exact same thing. I do not sneak up on them, just walk to the back and join their huddle.

I'm referring more to coaches coming out on you in your office. You are correct, his antics may get the crowd more into it, but when that video is playing for the 10 millionth time in You Tube, I want him to look like the complete ass hat losing his composure and not me.