You Need Glasses

[Mudder]

I'm working solo in 12yr old game, fairly compettive, OBR,  R2 gets in rundown between 2B and 3B, I'm on it quickly, but as is typical with this age way too many throws to try and get the runner. On the last throw towards 3B, throw is kind of off line and fielder make a poor tag attempt, runner takes half a step to his left lowers his right shoulder and avoids the tag, I call him safe on 3B, fairly easy call, no basepath issues as far I'm concerned.

DHC (3B dugout) comes out yelling "off the base path", points to "how far off the base path" the runner was, bla, bla , bla.  I agreed with the coach where the runner was, but said so what he's allowed to be there, it only matters how far he drifts at the moment he's avoiding the tag, the runner makes his own base path, etc., etc.

Caoch goes back to dugout, as I'm on my way back to the plate F1, now on the mound, says to me "hey ump do want my glasses"  In stunned disbelief, I say, "what did you say", to make sure I heard what I thought I heard.  He approaches closer with a silly smile on his face and kind of nervously says " well, I have a pair of glasses in my car, you can you use them if you want, cause I think you missed that call"  I look at his coach, who heard what he said,  who's jaw dropped.  

I'm already in a bad mood, as this game had a very slow steady rain for the entire 2hrs and 15 min, It was obvious to me, by the kid's demeanor and his delivery it was probably one of those "ump comback one liners" lines he heard about, and decided it would be funny to use it.  In any case I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and said to him "young man I have every right to throw you out of the game for that comment, but I won't, don't ever say that to  an umpire again or you will definitely get tossed, not get back on the mound and pitch!"  He says "OK, OK, sorry"

Should I have tossed him?

[UmpJeff]

12U...no.  You handled it correctly.

[conbo61]

What did his coach say?

[Mudder]

What did his coach say?

​Not much, when I looked over he was just shaking his head,

[conbo61]

Coach should have jumped right on that.  Demerits to him. Good job keeping your cool.

[Thunderheads]

I think maybe if he had done it with a "tone" or with a crappy look on his face ......yes you 'could have tossed' but ......here, I think you did the right thing

[indianaumpire15]

First and foremost, you having the calm demeanor that allows you to deal with questioning of your judgment calls in a 12U game in which you are working solo is a great umpiring skill you have (or have developed).  My opinion of umpiring at the younger ages is this, you're not there to coach anyone but that doesn't mean the kids can't learn something.  This is just like the situation where 10/11/12 year old doesn't like a called strike. Ignore the first time, second time I say "Stop" where only the batter and catcher can hear.  I have found it effective.  Coaches, well, most never learn and the ones who know what is expected rarely say much.

[MadMax]

When I was 11, my class went to a huge Stamp Show in Chicago, hosted at the McCormick Place and everything. I pulled a no-no... I shoplifted. I wanted a bag of stamps that had no more value than, say, $4 for the lot. I kept looking at the bag, and judging whether or not to walk the five steps to the register and buy them. I'd start, then stop. Then start, then stop. Then, I just dropped the bag into my swag bag, and thought I was in the clea... 

... BUMP! I was face-to-chest with an enormous Cook (or was it Lake?) County Sheriff's Deputy who had watched me the entire time. He placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "Young man, turn around and walk back over there." I was then guided back to the register, and the Deputy hailed the booth owner, and "introduced" us, by saying, "This young man has something to return to you." I never felt so utterly embarrassed and nauseous in my young life. It felt like it wasn't just two people looking at me, it felt like the entire convention hall was. I produced the stamp bag, and handed it back to the booth owner. In so many words, the Deputy said, "I'll handle this," neutralizing any thoughts of the Booth Owner saying "That's Okay, it's just a simple bag of stamps" or "I want to press charges!" equally. The Deputy guided me out of the booth and to a Security Station, and sat me down in the back, and had his colleagues locate my teacher/chaperone. What he did next was remarkable...

Upon the arrival of my chaperone, he told him the situation, and said (at least I construed it to be, in hindsight), "Your student here shoplifted. The items have been returned. There will be no charges, but for procedural principle, we'll keep him here until the time when your group departs."... and I had to sit there, alone and miserable, with nothing to do and nothing but my shame to occupy me, for the next four-or-so hours.

I was scared off of shoplifting for the rest of my life. What was it that affected me most? Not being able to participate in that day's fun any more. Who was I most upset at? I could have been upset at the Deputy for busting and detaining me. That thought crossed my mind. I could have been upset at the booth owner for making that bag of stamps $4 instead of $2 (which I had). That thought certainly crossed my mind. No, instead, the person I should be most upset at it confronted me in those next four lonely hours... me. Myself.

So, to relate it to your ( @Mudder's) situation, I would have very quietly, calmly, but directly called the HC back to (near) the mound, and say so only the HC and youth pitcher can hear, "Things like that, regardless the time and intent, should not be said. If you say things like that, they have consequences. Some other day, you'd be Ejected for those things. Now, you're either going to acknowledge that in front of your coach here, and that will be the end of it, or I'll encourage your coach here to remove you from the mound and you're done pitching for today."

I think your solution was outstanding, bravo. If anyone else had a quibble about "Is that a mound visit / conference?", I would brush it off by saying, "Nope, he's just checking on an injury."

[Thawk]

I have actually had something similar happen, but it was a fielder.  Parent approached me after the game and thanked me for the way I handled it.  I heard the shortstop, who after a very close steal where I called the runner safe(tag was going down, but runner pulled his inside hand back to let his outside hand touch-very smart), say loud and clear "Blue you're FRIGGIN BLIND!!!".  And yes, he used friggin.  As soon as I heard that, I called time, called for the manager to come out to second, where I preceded to instruct the shortstop that if I EVER heard him yell out at an umpire like that again, I would toss him on the spot.  Not just for the rest of the game, but for the rest of the season.  Good note from that incident-it occurred the second week of the season.  I found out that he won the league's sportsmanship award that year.

[TheRockawayKid]

Yeah, talking to the coach helps things at times. 

Had a 14 year old the other day who struck out a pitch just below the letters. He said, "that was up at my [bleepin] eyes." When coach came back from third base, I told him what happened. Coach was more outraged that he was complaining about the obvious strike, he said. But coach goes to the dugout and pulls the player off the field for the rest of the game. 

It was a DH. Second game, he apologizes when there's a mound conference, with the coach looking on. 

[maineump]

That kid probably won't forget that talk with you. You gave him a good baseball lesson, and at his age, maybe a life lesson - good job. He was just imitating something he heard from a fan/parent in the past. Found out it isn't a funny line.

[RichMSN]

I have actually had something similar happen, but it was a fielder.  Parent approached me after the game and thanked me for the way I handled it.  I heard the shortstop, who after a very close steal where I called the runner safe(tag was going down, but runner pulled his inside hand back to let his outside hand touch-very smart), say loud and clear "Blue you're FRIGGIN BLIND!!!".  And yes, he used friggin.  As soon as I heard that, I called time, called for the manager to come out to second, where I preceded to instruct the shortstop that if I EVER heard him yell out at an umpire like that again, I would toss him on the spot.  Not just for the rest of the game, but for the rest of the season.  Good note from that incident-it occurred the second week of the season.  I found out that he won the league's sportsmanship award that year.

Eh, life's too short on this one. The kid can learn by being ejected.

[JDavis225]

I stopped in to read this and it led me back to a story I had heard of from a fellow umpire. After a called 3rd strike in an 11U USSSA game, the player turns to him as he's walking away and calmly says "You f'n blew that one, blue."  We both thought it was hilarious and he said he was so flabbergasted he couldn't even get words out and such a calm reaction from an 11 year old made him actually question whether the pitch was really that bad. LOL  Could you even imagine hearing an 11 year old tell you that? 

[Specks]

I don't like being insulted.

He can explain to his coaches and parents why he got ejected. If the coach complains he can go home also, having a 2-for-1 sale!

Most likely they will blame me for the problem just like they do when he strikes out looking, it's never the kids fault.

[ricka56]

I stopped in to read this and it led me back to a story I had heard of from a fellow umpire. After a called 3rd strike in an 11U USSSA game, the player turns to him as he's walking away and calmly says "You f'n blew that one, blue."  We both thought it was hilarious and he said he was so flabbergasted he couldn't even get words out and such a calm reaction from an 11 year old made him actually question whether the pitch was really that bad. LOL  Could you even imagine hearing an 11 year old tell you that? 

​Kids say the darnest things ...Art Linkletter