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I'm an amateur Grammar N@z! so I'll help...I think. Some comments: Personally, I would delete "had" and changed the tense of the verbs that followed and revise the passive voice; "the kid at bat hit the ball, ran to first, but the first baseman tagged him out a split second..." I think here, the long form (as opposed to the contraction) works better: "[i]n this line of work, you are your own team." The rest of my comments are more about style than outright errors. It was enjoyable, and I could find myself in Jeremy's position.

I have worked on this for Gibby a few times and can confirm it is an original Douglas WV

I neglected to specify suicide which is when this usually was tried so the defense would have no choice except 1B. But NCAA has the sometimes matters "live action" clause. I would say this is an academic exercise but there was an MLB game ending situation where we might have learned how they rule with multiple misses and forces but luckily a security guard interfered with a live ball and took everyone off the hook for what would have been a goatrope.

I'm just commenting for when @Razzer pops in and gives his thoughts. We already got Max. Now waiting with baited breath for Ray to make an appearance!

I second this. Active voice. It's hard, it takes work, but it makes a difference and the reader won't even realize why. Kind of like umpiring. 😉

Oops... never mind... I didn't know... I didn't realize... I was never here...

Ha! I could so be Lucius Fox. Seriously, in that clip, there’s a response that I will… alter to suit our current situation… Bruce: “Impact absorbent?” Fox: “Anything and everything.” Bruce: “Why didn’t they put it into production?” Fox: “The beancounters at Wilson didn’t think that we umpires’ health was worth it, and that we won’t buy it at the resulting price point.”