Dealing with difficult people might age you faster, study finds

[Velho]

[insert funny quip about umpiring and this study here. I'd do it but my brain is too tired.]

 

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2026/03/09/difficult-people-aging-study/89069753007/

People who make your life more difficult may be aging you faster, according to recent research.

In the study, published last month in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers found that people with more hasslers in their life, or those "who create problems or make life more difficult," have a higher biological age compared to their actual chronological age.

"These results suggest that the hasslers in one’s social environment may constitute an overlooked but consequential biological risk factor," the authors write.

The study even accounted for several other factors, including occupation, adverse childhood experiences and smoking. But still, the impact of negative social ties remained significant, the study notes.

Just how significant? "Each additional hassler is associated with approximately 1.5% faster biological aging and roughly nine (months) of additional biological age among individuals of the same chronological age," the authors found.

But not all hasslers were the same. Family and friend hasslers showed "detrimental associations," whereas spouse hasslers did not.

And biological aging wasn't the only impact. Hasslers were also associated with multiple adverse mental and physical health outcomes like depression, anxiety and higher body mass index.

"These findings together highlight the critical role of negative social ties in biological aging as chronic stressors and the need for interventions that reduce harmful social exposures to promote healthier aging trajectories," the authors added.

[MadMax]

16 hours ago, Velho said:

Just how significant? "Each additional hassler is associated with approximately 1.5% faster biological aging and roughly nine (months) of additional biological age among individuals of the same chronological age," the authors found.

But not all hasslers were the same. Family and friend hasslers showed "detrimental associations," whereas spouse hasslers did not.

Relevant to umpiring, I cannot understand nor concur with umpire colleagues who make hassling, being contentious, and tearing down other (colleague) umpires (directly, face-to-face) “a thing”, or part of (their) some methodology. Like, it’s their job or role to be difficult (to each other). Why or how is this beneficial?!?!

[flyingron]

I found a book called "How to deal with people who make your life miserable."   I kept it in my office and would periodically take it out and start reading it when some people insisted on dropping in.

[Velho]

10 minutes ago, flyingron said:

I found a book called "How to deal with people who make your life miserable."   I kept it in my office and would periodically take it out and start reading it when some people insisted on dropping in.

Nice. I have the same. It flies very well. Nice and true.

[SeeingEyeDog]

8 hours ago, MadMax said:

Relevant to umpiring, I cannot understand nor concur with umpire colleagues who make hassling, being contentious, and tearing down other (colleague) umpires (directly, face-to-face) “a thing”, or part of (their) some methodology. Like, it’s their job or role to be difficult (to each other). Why or how is this beneficial?!?!

Sadly, I saw a lot of this at Cooperstown last year and had to insert myself into some situations to knock this down...I'm not sure if "hazing" is the appropriate word here but, what I saw were guys who were treated a certain way working games in their home market when they were coming up and now that they have some years under their belt, they think it's ok to treat new guys the way they were treated and the cycle is repeated.

I do not use the word "brother" and "brotherhood" lightly. Do brothers fight? Do brothers get mad, frustrated, angry, upset, etc. at each other? Absolutely...brothers also need to learn to read the room (field) and pick up and support their fellow umpire when they are having a difficult time. People know when they've made a mistake. They don't need someone in their face telling them they're terrible, they're horrible, figure it out, get better, etc...they need someone to talk with them and work them through whatever it is they are dealing with.

"So, what did you see on that play?" or "Could you have done anything differently to get a better look at that play?" are great openers towards helping someone develop as an umpire. I get it. I've been there, too with guys who have no business being on ANY baseball field. Help the guys you can help in a positive, supportive way. You never know...one of them may develop and teach you some things that help YOU develop.

Our goal every season is to get everyone back on the field next season.

~Dawg

[Velho]

15 hours ago, SeeingEyeDog said:

They don't need someone in their face telling them they're terrible, they're horrible, figure it out, get better, etc...

Wow. Never seen that. I've seen pushing to get the point across with the guy that can do no wrong but it shifts to silence/apathy after a few attempts.

Maybe I need to get out more - or maybe not.

[SeeingEyeDog]

3 hours ago, Velho said:

Wow. Never seen that. I've seen pushing to get the point across with the guy that can do no wrong but it shifts to silence/apathy after a few attempts.

Maybe I need to get out more - or maybe not.

Yeah, we call that "being taken to the woodshed" in my market in the post-game. As guys have aged out, we see it less and less and eventually it will disappear because the only guys still doing this are in their 60s and 70s. We youngin's eschew the old ways in that regard.

~Dawg

[JonnyCat]

1 hour ago, SeeingEyeDog said:

Yeah, we call that "being taken to the woodshed" in my market in the post-game.

Unfortunately, I've seen that too in my area. A couple certain asshole instructors/district staff umpires, along with an asshole district administrator have run off quite a few good umpires in the LL circles around here.

It's just a perpetuation of what they've learned and for some reason, be-it their pea sized brains or just plain stupidity, they can't see that this methodology has no place nor is it effective. They're just too stupid to break the cycle. Usually, when you ask said assholes why they do this, the response is almost always along the lines "that's the way I was taught," or "that's the way we've always done it." No self awareness or self analyzation whatsoever.

I have no tolerance for those kinds of people, regardless of the setting.

[Velho]

43 minutes ago, JonnyCat said:

along with an asshole district administrator have run off quite a few good umpires in the LL circles around here.

Makes me feel blessed for the district level folks I have

[JonnyCat]

1 hour ago, Velho said:

Makes me feel blessed for the district level folks I have

While the said asshole instructors/district staff umpires have moved on, sadly, the asshole DA has not. He's been there for at least 25 years and will undoubtedly die in that position. Most of his staff are good people, but him, not so much. Reminds me of the character Harvey Corman in the sitcom Scrubs. Just change "on the internet" to " in Little League".

 

[MadMax]

Since we're quoting scenes and memes to great effect... 
 

Swap:
- "I believe sucking smoke into your lungs will kill you." for "I believe use of that mechanic / movement is ineffectual, and  gives you no benefit."
- "My physicians say it... relaxes the throat." for "My mentor / trainer / instructor says this is how they want it performed." 
- "They're idiots." for "They're idiots." 
- "They've been knighted." for "They're a MiLB / college / assigner umpire!"

[Jonump]

Just a shout out to the forum here and all the members who post constructively. I've been lurking for a while with only the occasional post, and this forum is BY FAR the most helpful of all the social media umpiring sites.

3rd year here and have learned a LOT on the forum and so appreciate the almost always civil tone and friendly expertise. It's rarer than it should be and important to those of us trying to get better. In contrast, I had to stop reading almost all the facebook groups, as the threads constantly devolve into insults, sniping and one upsmanship--not to mention proudly incorrect information.

It can be lonely without this site. I think I was 25 or 30 games in before I even saw another umpire, and then it was like pulling teeth to get some of the senior guys to talk to me at all, much less do a pregame or postgame or explain some rationale behind a technique or movement. 

I've often thought this is the number one problem in attracting and retaining new umpires, not the crowd antics. "Survive the suffering!" is not the best recruiting strategy, perhaps?

Around here there is barely any infrastructure for mentoring, monitoring, evaluation, etc. especially if you aren't cut from the good old boys club cloth. And there are plenty of people in the old boys club who may have a lot of years, but mentally froze in place years ago.

I've had a few career changes (57), so I knew how to persevere in the face of indifference, but man did I appreciate--and still do appreciate--the significant exceptions, the veteran people who enjoyed helping someone else get better. They are awesome. 

And lots are on this site

 

 

[flyingron]

Yep, try not to take it personally and get help.    I was a NASCAR official for years at a local Saturday night track.    I was asked to officiate a go kart race held at our track one weekend.   I knew racecar drivers and crew were problematic, but I wasn't prepared for "driver's parents."   After one came up to me midrace, I calmly pointed out to him "I don't know what facilities are you are used to running on, but this is a NASCAR track, and if you don't get back behind the wall, I'm going to have that nice police officer over there escort both you and your son off the premises."

[BigBlue4u]

On 3/10/2026 at 2:42 PM, flyingron said:

I found a book called "How to deal with people who make your life miserable."   I kept it in my office and would periodically take it out and start reading it when some people insisted on dropping in.

Some people have a device to deal with difficult people.  It's called a gun.