Ego check ... struggling a little today

[The Man in Blue]

This is a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation ... but I need to vent a little.  So now I will be guilty of what I am complaining about.

Two things happened this morning that just kind of ... "put me in the wrong direction."

I consider myself a damned good umpire.  I don't claim or pretend to be the best, but I think of myself as a guy who most organizations or schools appreciate having on their field.  I like to be a rules nerd (which is why I love you guys here!) and I hustle pretty damned hard for a guy shaped like a bowling ball.  I take pride in my uniform and my mechanics (even if they aren't perfect).

Back when I started, I worked with a guy who didn't believe me when I told him I had just started.  He laughed and said, "Yeah, my first year, too" (as he schooled me on how to clean up and care for my equipment like only a 25-year veteran could).  Lately I have really been reflecting on that and trying to embrace that mentality.  It doesn't matter how long you've done this or what your accomplishments are, you always have something to learn every game.  Since I have been doing more traveling and working with lots of new people, I try to answer the question "How long have you been doing this?" with something like "Every year is my first year."

I'm not a person who hangs his hat on the games he's done or brags about accomplishments.  I like talking about experiences, but try to do so only when asked.  (I know, online is a little different because we say things to hopefully gain replies, it isn't a true conversation.)  I'm also a person who quit chasing a lot of things awhile back because I was sick of the politics involved.  I don't bother with NFHS post-season and I quit trying to break into NCAA softball in my area.  My philosophy is "I am going to show up and work my best damned game possible.  If somebody sees me and wants me to work for them, great."

I am usually very much at peace with that.

However, I had two phone calls this morning that have me starting my day on the wrong foot.  I'll be fine by game time tonight, but I just needed to vent a little.

First, I'm working a charity game tonight with a few "celebrities" involved.  I got this gig because one of the teachers I work with (and one one of our coaches) is involved with the game and asked if I would be interested.  A local assignor who is notorious for his ego is the "crew chief", but the coach is the one who selected the umpires.  The third umpire is a guy who really doesn't umpire, but is involved with the event.  Per the phone conversation earlier this week, I was going to get the plate for a very well-known and highly accomplished softball pitcher.  This morning, the "crew chief: calls and tells me he is going to take the plate.  I don't know why this is bothering me, because I knew it was going to happen.  After a phone call of hemming and hawing and me saying yes, I was comfortable on the plate, he calls me this morning and says he thinks it really should be him because these are "high level pitchers."  (Then he has the nerve to ask me if I will work games for him this fall.)

Second ... and this one probably wouldn't have bugged me as much, but I was already a bit put off ... A tournament reached out to me late last night and asked if I could work weekday games (M-F) for an upcoming tournament.  Being on summer break, I said gladly!  It's not often that those happen around here (and I am not working any leagues during the week this summer).  This morning I get a call that they are loaded with games on Monday, a little lighter on Tues. and Wed., but then heavy again Thurs. and Fri.  Then the guy says he is probably only going to use me Thursday and Friday.  Why ask about the rest of the week then?  If there is a weekend tournament available, I just shot myself in the foot.  I have not worked for this group/organization before, but the guy said he talked to several umpires who know me and provided good references.  I know I am in the wrong mindset so this isn't as big of a deal ... BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT, MOVE ON.  Go, work, show them what you can do and then let the future be the future.

I'm not sure what I am even looking for as far as advice or comments.  I just needed to say something.  Sometimes you just need to yell at clouds a little bit.  😁

I guess ... 

How do you manage expectations?  How do you manage your ego?  (While I am complaining about egos, I fully see that this is my ego speaking out.)

[JonnyCat]

12 minutes ago, The Man in Blue said:

I was going to get the plate for a very well-known and highly accomplished softball pitcher.  This morning, the "crew chief: calls and tells me he is going to take the plate.  I don't know why this is bothering me, because I knew it was going to happen.

Were you expressly told you were going to get the plate? If so that's not right to change it up without a darn good reason. If something happened like that to me, I probably wouldn't want to work with that guy.

14 minutes ago, The Man in Blue said:

Why ask about the rest of the week then?

It's an organization you've never worked for. He's probably just getting availability and seeing where the chips land. Scheduling sucks. He doesn't know you and probably wants to take care of the guys he's worked with before, plus you don't know how many guys he has available, maybe more that he thought. Work what games you get assigned, and hopefully it will turn into more games in the future. It's just probably being the new guy, "paying you dues" so to speak.

25 minutes ago, The Man in Blue said:

How do you manage expectations? 

I never have any expectations before working any games or especially big tournaments. My philosophy going into a big tournament is to work hard, be a good teammate, go with the flow, and see where the chips may fall. The assigning is not up to me, so I have no control over that. I just do the best I can, and hopefully the big game will come my way.

In a big tournament, especially when you're working with guys you never worked with before, you never know the caliber of umpires that are there. Some may be better than you, some maybe had a better game and got noticed. I can only do my best and hope that I'm in the conversation for working the championship. The decision is not up to me.

I've seen to many guys selected to work big tournaments expecting to get the championship plate, only to be disappointed.

For me, I don't count my chickens before they are hatched. Work hard, and whatever happens, happens.

[Mister B]

Remember that summer is a crap shoot for some tournaments. I saw 2 this summer that got cancelled due to lack of participating teams. Kids go on vacation, and this summer, we've seen a very high number of kids choose to play travel ball vs. local ball (even at the HS level) a bunch of kids are trying to play both. The director in 1 of the tournaments told me that he only had 8 teams sign up and then 5 of them called to say they wouldn't have enough players to field a team. 

[SeeingEyeDog]

@The Man in Blue

Blue Man, unless we are wealthy or a criminal, all of us have to subordinate ourselves to something. In umpiring of course, we subordinate ourselves to the crew chief (amongst many others). I see the merits in assigning umpire positions prior to the game. I see MORE merits in assigning the correct number of umpires that the client has contracted for, assigning the crew chief...and THEN getting the umpires to the ballpark and letting the crew chief make the assignments. I am a masochist. I take every plate I can. But, I'm also a realist. If I am not the chief, I expect my chief to take the plate. When he doesn't take the plate and asks my preference, I take the plate.

You got a raw deal. You were assigned the plate and the crew chief high-hatted you. People only know what you tell them, Blue Man. That chief just told you he was unprofessional. You kept your place and were the professional we know you to be. Feelings (despite what human toxicity might try to dissuade you of...), all feelings are valid. All feelings are true. You have had bigger disappointments than this. Take 24 hours after the game, if you still have strong feelings about it, tell the assigner you don't want to work with that chief anymore.

Second one...also a raw deal. And again, you don't need me or anyone else to tell you, how you are "supposed" to feel about it. We serve at the pleasure of a great many people. When the firehouse bell rings, the shiny trucks go to work. Being a shiny truck is life. Everything else is just waiting. Have a great game tonight, pal...like you always do.

~Dawg

[The Man in Blue]

Thanks guys.  I'm not usually the kind to vent, but I just needed to.  If that made me a whiny little whelp for a few hours, so be it.  We can't all be on all the time.

 

It was all good and it will all be good!  The game tonight was fun and I realized this has been one heck of a summer for me.  I've added a few new states to my umpiring experience, met lots of new umpires, called several games for a former MLB All-Star and World Series MVP who was coaching his grandson's team, and tonight got to umpire a two-time Olympic medalist and NCAA softball career win leader ... and more importantly, got to see lots of kids get to play the game.  Breath in, breathe out, move on.

[BigBlue4u]

On 7/21/2023 at 10:30 AM, The Man in Blue said:

Since I have been doing more traveling and working with lots of new people, I try to answer the question "How long have you been doing this?" with something like "Every year is my first year."

I would not recommend this answer.  The reason is, if an umpire does not know you, he's trying to gauge what he can expect from you as an umpire.  "Every year is my first year," may sound like a clever answer, but you are telling him nothing about the information he needs to have.  Be honest.  If he asks you how long you have been doing this, tell him.  Then, ask HIM how long HE has been doing this.  

[The Man in Blue]

6 hours ago, BigBlue4u said:

I would not recommend this answer.  The reason is, if an umpire does not know you, he's trying to gauge what he can expect from you as an umpire.  "Every year is my first year," may sound like a clever answer, but you are telling him nothing about the information he needs to have.  Be honest.  If he asks you how long you have been doing this, tell him.  Then, ask HIM how long HE has been doing this.  

I expect him to be in his first year also.  😁

When I ask, it’s more of a formality and a nicety.  I’ve worked with plenty of guys who have been doing this as long as I’ve been alive and it didn’t make them any better at it.  I’ve worked with plenty of guys who just started who will be stellar umpires in a few years.  I really don’t care how long you’ve been at it.  I find your appearance tells me more about how this is going to go.

[MadMax]

On 7/21/2023 at 12:30 PM, The Man in Blue said:

Since I have been doing more traveling and working with lots of new people, I try to answer the question "How long have you been doing this?" with something like "Every year is my first year."

I would encourage you to bank – not brag – on your experience level. Your experience matters; more to the point, how you assimilate your experience matters. Don’t devalue it by saying this is your “first year”. 

You’ve heard the phrase, “twenty years’ worth of first-year work”, or something similar before, yes? 

It’s a weird dichotomy – by nature, we are competitive; however, we (officials) are supposed to be unbiased, equal, and interchangeable. Well, all those being equal, only rules knowledge & situation-handling really differentiates us. And, how do we best implement & improve situation handling? 
By experience, exactly. 

The respect and rapport I have with other participants – players, coaches, management staff, and umpires – is directly attributable to my implemented experience. I’d be disillusioning them, and doing a disservice to myself, if I was to claim that I’m a “first year”. Either their expectations would be set (likely too low), or their reviews of me would be too… out of proportion(?).