My Slow Pitch Softball Experience

[mjr_2013]

I got voluntold into doing a charity slow pitch softball tournament… Seven games, one hour time limits, a whopping $10/game… I tried saying no, but it didn't work. Eventually I got stuck doing them.

 

I don't know slow pitch softball other than watching my brother play a little a few years ago. I'm told coming in that there will be a mat, and it will be easy. Of course I show up and it's the most unorganized thing of all time. There's no mat, so I have to pretend to know the strike zone, there are no rules, so they change them on a game by game basis, and it's all simply chaotic.

 

You'd think the players would tone it down and care at least a little less in a CHARITY tournament, but nope.

 

They told me at the beginning that all walks were doubles because it was a co-ed tournament. So of course, in game number four of the day, a woman walks, I send her to second, four batters later, the TD (if you can call her that) YELLS across the field that it's only for when you walk males. I'm annoyed now, because she told me different, so I step back and let her figure out whatever she wants to do. They place runners wherever they want and we carry on.

 

The next pitch I ball inside… I hear the TD say "And THAT was right down the middle!"… I give her "THE LOOK". I scared the crap out of her, it was hilarious. She got all nervous and started smiling and laughing trying to play it off as a joke. Her friend started cracking up and announced "You got the death stare! That was a total death stare!"

 

The games completed without me ejecting anyone or without anyone breaking a hip, so I consider myself lucky. 

[BigUmpire]

Was this court orderd as a punishment, you murder someone?

Should have went to jail instead.

[blue23ll]

I'm thinking a elective colonoscopy without anesthesia would have been better!!  

[elares]

Great story.  Thanks.

[Jocko]

Was this court orderd as a punishment, you murder someone?

Should have went to jail instead.

told ya, when Warren @umpireinchief disavows any knowledge of you, your punishment is............

[umpstu]

Did the same thing last month except for free. A fundraiser to offset a little girl's cancer treatment. Had a fight break out in a coed game because two guys thought they should take the game seriously. Tournament director called the game and ejected the teams from the tournament.

[cyclonehokiece]

Voluntold? Send in the paperwork on that one.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[mjr_2013]

Was this court orderd as a punishment, you murder someone?

Should have went to jail instead.

 

Hindsight is 20/20!

[Rulekeep]

All you guys bitching and moaning about SPSB. I think we need to start an exchange program. I go down south to call baseball, which I hear is much better although that could be a myth, and you guys come up here and call Umpire's Classic or Rainball.

[Magic]

All you guys bitching and moaning about SPSB. I think we need to start an exchange program. I go down south to call baseball, which I hear is much better although that could be a myth, and you guys come up here and call Umpire's Classic or Rainball.

Where do you live?

[Rulekeep]

All you guys bitching and moaning about SPSB. I think we need to start an exchange program. I go down south to call baseball, which I hear is much better although that could be a myth, and you guys come up here and call Umpire's Classic or Rainball.

Where do you live? SEAK

[Magic]

All you guys bitching and moaning about SPSB. I think we need to start an exchange program. I go down south to call baseball, which I hear is much better although that could be a myth, and you guys come up here and call Umpire's Classic or Rainball.

Where do you live?

SEAK

In english?

[Rulekeep]

All you guys bitching and moaning about SPSB. I think we need to start an exchange program. I go down south to call baseball, which I hear is much better although that could be a myth, and you guys come up here and call Umpire's Classic or Rainball.

Where do you live?SEAKIn english? Just for that.

Dzanti'k'í Heen'í

[Magic]

Oh you live on Pluto. Thanks

[Rulekeep]

I live in Southeast Alaska. Also known as Dzanti'k'í Heen'í, which in the Native language means "little flounder creek."

[MadMax]

I got voluntold into doing a charity slow pitch softball tournament… Seven games, one hour time limits, a whopping $10/game… I tried saying no, but it didn't work. Eventually I got stuck doing them.

 

... and it's all simply chaotic.

 

You'd think the players would tone it down and care at least a little less in a CHARITY tournament, but nope.

 

So of course, in game number four of the day, a woman walks, I send her to second, four batters later, the TD (if you can call her that) YELLS across the field that it's only for when you walk males. I'm annoyed now, because she told me different, so I step back and let her figure out whatever she wants to do. They place runners wherever they want and we carry on.

 

"Voluntold"? I _love_ that concocted term, @mjr_2013. I have a guess that there's a SWMBO involved somewhere behind this... a GF, spouse, mom, or sister-acting-with-mom's-backing.

 

Chaotic? It always is, and always will be! Any time you have a committee or group organize an event, it always becomes who is assigned to what role, and how so-and-so, assigned to that role, is a _terrible_ executor of that role, or doesn't live up to the expectations of everyone else regarding that role! The only time I've ever seen an aspect of a charity event go off well was, I think, the guy running the grill at an outdoor event. The guy was a grill_master_. When asked how he was doing, he just said, "Hey, as long as I have propane, beer, salt, pepper and food supplies, I'll do this until they say stop."

 

Tone it down? Oh heck no. When you have a co-ed event, you've got the girls / women who either want to show up each other for ability or attention, and then the boys / men who either try to show off for the girls, or get goaded by their SO's / GF's to "defend their honor".

 

Four batters later? Uhhhh... so where did R2 _go_ between when they walked and the fourth batter?

[FleasOf1000Camels]

On the other hand, last summer I got talked in to working a two day slow-pitch tournament for Special Olympics.

I tried to beg off of it, told the TD that I don't do softball...but he kept after me, and I finally gave in, then twisted the arm of one of my buddies (also a baseball only umpire) to work with me.

 

We were a bit nervous about it, having ZERO softball experience, but we pulled it off without any problems.

At the end of the event we both agreed that it had been the most fun, most uplifting experience we'd ever had on a ball diamond, and when they gave us our checks, we just endorsed them right back to Special Olympics.