You might just be an Umpire if....

[Jocko]

YMBAUI:

*While spectating a game, everyone looks to you for clarification of wtf just happened on the field.

*You remember at 2am a situation that occurred in a game 3 years ago and break out the rule books

*You call your buddy at 2:30am, after youve looked up said rule, to discuss. And he doesn't get mad.

*You polish 'tennis' shoes (swmbo's term )

*You hear the name Captain Kirk, and the first person who crosses your mind is Jim @ U-A

*You think anything youve read on this thread is funny

[Pete Peterson Sr]

You might just be an umpire if your tan line looks like this all summer! (no its not me! found the pic online)

nice-tan-lines.jpg

 

This guy needs a better mask than his Lone Ranger mask behind the plate...

[Jglopez7]

You might just be an umpire if....you bring your own folding lawn chair inside the regional meeting!

 

Got a good laugh when I saw this umpire walk in with his own lawn chair.

[Jocko]

*You start jonesing for a punchout on groundhog day

[blue23ll]

You might be an umpire if you have more money invested in plate pants than you do in dress pants...

 

How many times do you have to wear your plate pants to dinner for the IRS to not consider them a write off?

[Jglopez7]

Happened over the weekend....you might just ben an umpire if you blow your shoulder out on a strike 3 call

 

My partner kept rubbing his shoulder during the game. I asked him if he got hit and he replied "my should popped when i rung up the shortstop in the 4th inning" hahahahahhaha

[MEBlue]

Hey I know Alex Pufhall!!  LOL

 

You know you are an umpire when you give a standing ovation for a properly done rotation.

I apparently joined this site too late to see my own 15 minute seconds of fame! 

 

My friend gave me directions to a local business in their town the other day and began with you know where the high school baseball field is? And took me from there!

[goody14]

If the pre-school letter of the day is "U" and your son takes an umpire figure and tells everyone this is daddy.

[Mark Pepper]

You experience physical pain when in the stands at a game while some blow-hard "explains" rules of baseball even worse than baseball announcers.

 

There is a restraining order on you at the local Minor League park because you couldn't take it anymore and finally corrected said blow-hard, which resulted in an argument, and when you tried to eject him the ushers made you leave also.  

[MYFER]

Even your non-umpire wardrobe consists mostly of blue-black-gray

[MadMax]

UMBaUI:

• You refuse use of a rider mower, preferring to start up the push mower with the pull cord... just to get practice in.

• Your family members catch a falling glass / spoon / fork / random object, and you acknowledge it with a point and the verbal, "That's a CATCH!"

• People marvel at your calm demeanor at work / church / out-and-about and someone you encounter throws a hissy fit. You reply, "He/she didn't say the magic word."

• When attending a MLB game, and the umpires are introduced, your companions actually check to see if you are paying attention. Typically, you are.

• You know all the MLB umpires by sleeve number, and their punch-outs, and tell your SWMBO's family about today's game PU's signature punch-out (Tom Hallion, you're my hero). (Guilty as charged.)

• When friends say they're going to "get a closer look", you step sideways, and reply, "Angle trumps distance."

[umpire_scott]

You turn your head whenever someone says "Lou, Luke, or any other name that sound close to blue".

 

and 

 

You think no baseball player, especially catchers, should be allowed to be named Lou, Luke, or anything that sounds like blue.

[goody14]

If you have logged more time pantless in the back seat of cars in your 30s than 20s...

 

(this might also be indicative of me being a math/stats major as well)

[Jocko]

YJMBAUI :

You count the stitches on your non-umpiring hats