The perfect storm of umpire-specific hilarity

[Paperipper17]

Got a call today to work a make-up game between two 10U teams. I didn't work yesterday, so despite the location (Sans Souci, Jax, a park notorious for bad parents and coaches at that age) and the fact that I'd be flying solo, I said sure, why not.

I'm so glad I did. I literally heard everything a rat can yell that is unmistakeably wrong to anyone with any sort of grasp on the rules.

As luck would have it, the home team is the worst of the bunch, a team I've had once before. Away team is ok, and the AC is one of our association's senior umps. Nice guy. So we get started (After the plate meeting, in which home HC asked "Where's your strike zone tonight?" "Same place it always is, Stephen." ). Ok for the first frame. There's a Coach Dad in the stands that insists on yelling instructions to every hitter and telling me where each pitch missed or didn't miss. But he's outside the fence, so whatever. Also, he thinks it's hilarious to call me "Red" instead of Blue, as I wore my red shirt, then laugh uproariously each time while nudging his buddy and saying "Get it? 'Cause he has red on." Ass.

Second inning, R1 and R2, one down. VT at bat, BR chops one to F5, which gets through his legs and rolls into left. R2 and F6 get tangled up so I call obstruction, then wait for the play to sort itself out. Well, OC starts yelling for his runners to keep running, but they freeze at the next bag, I guess assuming it was a dead ball. Here comes Coach Dad. "If you called interference(ha.), they gotta go back! It's a do-over!" Right. The do-over clause. I forgot.

Next half, HT at bat, and there's a banger at first. Out. "Tie goes to the runner! Tie goes to the runner! You need to read the rulebook once! You costing us this game!" At this point it's all I can do to keep from laughing. Besides the ridiculous rulebook reference, they were down 13-4. Also, he had seen my girlfriend and I walk in together, so he made sure to set up his chair right behind her when he went into personal insults ("You too tall to be a umpire! Go do basketball! You too tall! You can't see nothin' from that far up! Quit makin' mistakes! You terrible! Go get some glasses!" )

Here was my favorite though. Bottom 3, his son was up with two outs. Watches two right down the cock-two pitches so good his rat ass couldn't even argue-then swings at one high and in. Ball hits his hand. I HEARD it hit skin. SAW it hit the hand. "Time! Batter's out!"

This is awesome. First, everyone's cheering. He starts to run down to first. So, I repeat it. "WHAT? Red it hit him! It hit his hand!" Well, he isn't on the field, so I'm not talking to him. HC runs over. "Blue, it hit his hand."

"I know, Stephen, but he swung. That's a strike."

"But it hit him."

"But he swung, Stephen. He's out."

"Ok, so he swung. Well, the hands are part of the bat, right? Foul ball." Behind us, I can hear the visiting AC, the ump, start to crack up. I (barely) kept a straight face.

"The hands are certainly not a part of the bat, he's out. Swinging strike, dead ball. That's all, Stephen." And walked away giving the "out" sign.

Enter Coach Dad. "The hands is part of the bat, RED! LEARN THE RULES!:blah" Well, visiting AC is tired of the guy, so he walks by and explains the ruling on his way to the 1BC box. As soon as he walks away, he starts again. "It hit the bat first, Red! We could see it here! It hit the bat! Foul ball!" There was more but it was the same ol' , just ad nauseum

So that was about it, besides a few gripes about my zone .

Anyway, just thought you guys would enjoy this hodgepodge of no rules knowledge.

In case you skipped over it: in one game, I heard-

Interference, not obstruction.

Interference/obstruction is a do-over for the offense.

Tie goes to the runner.

Swinging strike hits the batter means the batter gets first.

Hands are part of the bat.

No, wait, it didn't hit the hands, it hit the bat.

:rollinglaugh::crazy:

:givebeer::givebeer:

Edited April 29, 2010 by Paperipper17

[Big Red]

Too funny! All too real, but funny!

Had one last night where the batter ducked on a high and very inside pitch....ding, right off the bat and back to the fence. Foul ball!! Coach and the fans (right behind the back-stop) start hollering about it hitting the kid's helmet! Criminy, I was further away in B, then the fans and I clearly saw it hit the bat. Besides, if it really did hit his helmet, he must have a hollow head and be wearing a rolled aluminum helmet!

Good wrap-up, but you forgot the 1st chapter in this whole saga:

"Where's your strike zone tonight?" :WTF

Edited April 29, 2010 by Big Red

[kwiggie]

Tie goes to the runner.:

The absolute best quote ever (from this forum) "No coach!, tie goes to me and I just got an out."

[Big Red]

The absolute best quote ever (from this forum) "No coach!, tie goes to me and I just got an out."

Hell, yeah!! :WTF

[Paperipper17]

The absolute best quote ever (from this forum) "No coach!, tie goes to me and I just got an out."

I have to admit that exact quote was running through my mind . But I thought engaging him would just stir up a :censored:storm.

I also was thinking of another one I read on here..."No, they changed it. He has to actually beat the throw now."

And if you want to break it down, according to the Rules, the BR is entitled to first base only if he reaches it BEFORE being tagged out or thrown out. So, if ties did exist in this game, technically they'd go to the defense. :WTF

[dawg-man]

I had a partner of mine one night to tell a coach if he could show him the rule about the tie goes to the runner he would eat the page and give him 20.00. Coach looked for it most of the game. Kept him quiet for a while anyway. Humbled his RAT tail as well. He is still looking for it today because he " knows its in there somewhere". Gotta love them.

[maninblack69]

Too funny. It's funny how parents and fans yell at the umps to "learn the rules" yet they have never touched a rule book in their lives. :bang:

[carolinablue]

I think you should have sent this clown to the parking lot to find your strike zone.

[JaxRolo]

I had a partner of mine one night to tell a coach if he could show him the rule about the tie goes to the runner he would eat the page and give him 20.00. Coach looked for it most of the game. Kept him quiet for a while anyway. Humbled his RAT tail as well. He is still looking for it today because he " knows its in there somewhere". Gotta love them.

I found it!!!!

Chapter 13

Rule 13.1.0.3 On a close play to a base if an Umpires Deems that it is a Tie the ball will immediately become DEAD and and the runner becomes SAFE.

Rule 13.1.0.4 If it is a Tie and there are other runners on bases, those runners are entitled 2 extra bases since the ball became DEAD.

:BD:

[padist4ump]

I'm lucky if I get to hear all those in two weeks, you got 'em all in one game. You should be honored!!! Me, I'd have pi$$ed myself laughing

[catoblue]

I found it!!!!

Chapter 13

Rule 13.1.0.3 On a close play to a base if an Umpires Deems that it is a Tie the ball will immediately become DEAD and and the runner becomes SAFE.

Rule 13.1.0.4 If it is a Tie and there are other runners on bases, those runners are entitled 2 extra bases since the ball became DEAD.

:smachhead::BD:

Don't forget to tell the coach that since the ball is DEAD, we need a moment of silence!!!!! :WTF

[catoblue]

Me, I'd have pi$$ed myself laughing

Me too - and it sounds like the VT coach nearly did too!!!!

[DirtyDawg]

I think you should have sent this clown to the parking lot to find your strike zone.

I can see this conversation:

Coach: Hey blue, where's your strike zone tonight

Umpire: It's over in the parking lot, you want to go find it

:clap:

[Big Red]

I can see this conversation:

Coach: Hey blue, where's your strike zone tonight

Umpire: It's over in the parking lot, you want to go find it

Sweet...that's awesome! :banghead:

[Paperipper17]

I'm lucky if I get to hear all those in two weeks, you got 'em all in one game. You should be honored!!! Me, I'd have pi$$ed myself laughing

I felt very honored lol.

To be honest, I originally wasn't going to post this, because I thought there was no way anyone would believe this all happened in one night:shrug:. We all love the nights that go by without a hitch, but I figure if something's going to go wrong, might as well cram it all in while you can. Maybe nnow I'm off the hook for awhile :rollinglaugh:

[DirtyDawg]

I felt very honored lol.

To be honest, I originally wasn't going to post this, because I thought there was no way anyone would believe this all happened in one night:shrug:. We all love the nights that go by without a hitch, but I figure if something's going to go wrong, might as well cram it all in while you can. Maybe nnow I'm off the hook for awhile

Well, you were probably going to be off the hook until you said it out loud.

[catoblue]

Well, you were probably going to be off the hook until you said it out loud.

Yup - you just jinxed yourself!!!!

[Paperipper17]

Well, you were probably going to be off the hook until you said it out loud.

Yup - you just jinxed yourself!!!!

Need to learn to keep my trap shut. DH tomorrow. Better pack my earplugs :smachhead:

[Penguin]

I found it!!!!

Chapter 13

Rule 13.1.0.3 On a close play to a base if an Umpires Deems that it is a Tie the ball will immediately become DEAD and and the runner becomes SAFE.

Rule 13.1.0.4 If it is a Tie and there are other runners on bases, those runners are entitled 2 extra bases since the ball became DEAD.

you forgot the exception 1e to that rule which explicitly states: "Unless blue is red!"

[UmpJM]

I had a partner of mine one night to tell a coach if he could show him the rule about the tie goes to the runner he would eat the page and give him 20.00. Coach looked for it most of the game. Kept him quiet for a while anyway. Humbled his RAT tail as well. He is still looking for it today because he " knows its in there somewhere". Gotta love them.

dawg-man,

Had I been the coach, I would have showed your partner 6.05(j):

6.05 A batter is out when—

...

(j) After a third strike or after he hits a fair ball, he or first base is tagged before he touches first base;

If it had been a FED game, I would have showed him 8-4-1f.

JM

[Mr Umpire]

dawg-man,

Had I been the coach, I would have showed your partner 6.05(j):

If it had been a FED game, I would have showed him 8-4-1f.

JM

Semantics but that is for the batter. 7.08(e) is for the runner for OBR. So, I would not be eating that page and still won't owe you $20. Also, I might add are contradictory to each other.

I don't know FED's.

Edited May 20, 2010 by Mr Umpire

[UmpJM]

Semantics but that is for the batter. 7.08(e) is for the runner for OBR. So, I would not be eating that page and still won't owe you $20. Also, I might add are contradictory to each other.

I don't know FED's.

Mr Umpire,

So, you would welsh on the bet?

I completely agree that the rule does not really MEAN that, nor is it proper enforcement, nor is it consistent in principle with the 7.08(e) language.

However, that was not the bet.

The cite I gave refers to a Batter-Runner, who most certainly IS "a runner", and "says" that a tie goes to the runner.

Which WAS the bet.

I think it would be best if the umpire refrained from making such foolhardy bets rather than make them and then welsh on his proposition because he hasn't read the rulebook as carefully as he thought he had.

Unseemly at best.

(BTW, the FED rule book features the same contradiction between the BR and a forced runner as does the OBR language.)

[Mr Umpire]

How would I be doing that?

I know it is a BR but the rule you cited clearly says as a complete statement "A batter is out when after a third strike or after he hits a fair ball, he or first base is tagged before he touches first base". No where, per semantics only, does it say "runner". So, I wouldn't lose based on "exact" wording. I said nothing about common practice of what he is referred to or how he is treated for that play.

The bet was to show where there is a rule which says "Tie goes to the runner". That doesn't say that by "exact" wording. No one said it was what is common practice of how the batter is referred to after hitting the ball. So, 6.05(j) doesn't apply to the bet b/c it is about the batter which is exactly as it reads. Not, about a runner. Like I said, strictly by semantics.

I don't agree with making the bet nor baiting a coach like that.

[UmpJM]

Mr Umpire,

Glad you took that in the spirit intended.

This is a great "bar bet" question when you're hanging out with umpires.

"Is there any rule in the OBR rulebook that says a tie goes to the runner in any circumstance?"

Because 6.05(j) DOES say it.

Another one is,

"What is the one type of candy explicitly mentioned in the text of the OBR rules?"

(no fair looking before you answer).

JM

[Mr Umpire]

Mr Umpire,

Glad you took that in the spirit intended.

This is a great "bar bet" question when you're hanging out with umpires.

"Is there any rule in the OBR rulebook that says a tie goes to the runner in any circumstance?"

Because 6.05(j) DOES say it.

Another one is,

"What is the one type of candy explicitly mentioned in the text of the OBR rules?"

(no fair looking before you answer).

JM

I would have to look that up. I have no idea.