"That's 5"

[dave0mary]

Last spring I had a soph game - solo. 5 plays were really close, 4 on stealing second, one at home. They ALL went against the home team. FED rules now, remember? After the 5th 'bad' call, the assistant coach comes out half way to me and says "that's 5!!" "That's 5 what coach?" He was suprised at my intestinal fortitude applied in my question to him - and backed away. So, I said to the head coach, "coach - let's make a deal. You send your asst. coach to a rules meeting next year where he will learn he may not approach/dispute/etc umpires ... and I won't throw him out of THIS game. Deal?" " He smiled and agreed. The "rest of the story" ... as I was leaving a fan walked next to me to my car. He said I needed to stop umpiring since I don't know what I'm doing. With a smile on my face, I asked him what risk he takes in confronting an umpire. He was speechless, really. So I said it again ... explaining that the risk is mine, ie: I put the shirt on and do the game and not just spectate; but, no reply for a few seconds. Then he came up with an original - "you're the worst I've ever seen". So I said "yes, I have a trophy at home that says just that". He called me a smart a**. So, (further trying to belittle me) when he said "you really are just a little league umpire", I countered with "is this Tuesday?" He didn't know how to respond since he was trying to control the conversation. I finalized with, "since it's Tuesday, Varsity games are played. The good umpires are at THOSE games". I gave myself an academy award as he shook his head and said nothing - walking away.

[mstaylor]

I tend to not be a smartass most of the time, sometimes my self sensoring button doesn't work. Coach or manager counts, toss them. Parents come to you car, engage them politely, if they have a problem, wish them a good day and leave it be. A pissed off parent or fan has no logic button.

[yawetag]

Momma always told me: Don't feed the trolls.

[jjb]

Dave: I understand everything that you say (and said). We're all there with you, and we all have a folder full of "retorts" when approached by people with absolutely no comprehension of what that are speaking about. But, respectfully, after all you said, you have to understand something: you accomplished nothing. That AC had zero business saying anything to you. You let him rant, (I know, I know, you warned the HC). But, I promise you he'll do it again. You needed to nip it, NIP IT in the bud (Thanks, Barney) the first time, and keep it from happening to the next Umpire. He needed to be put in his place, dramatically and equivocally. As far as the pus-faced, no-nothing, Halo-playing, snot-nosed who "approached" you after the game: you didn't convince hin of anything. He still walked away, thinking that he "showed that Umpire a thring or two". Trust me, I played that game too many times: you never win. I've found,a simple" thanks for your input" (followed by whatever phrase you'd like under your breath) to suffice. Playing verbal games with these morons is like peeing in your charcoal pants: it gives you a warm feeling, but nobody notices.

[dave0mary]

I did forget to mention - the AC had a "deer-in-headlights" look as he went to the head coach to verify what I said. As we played on, I could barely hear him saying things such as "you mean I can't ever ...?" So, as far as accomplishments go, the assistant did learn something that day. As far as the fan is concerned, my accomplishment was he thought he could repeat the same lines I'm sure he used when johnny was 8 years old and the 'ump' was a college kid. 90% of the time I do just what one reply said to do ... "thanks for the input", and walk away. I DID receive an academy later that night on TV ... so it was worth it. :yippie:

[Dragon29]

My favorite line for spectators who decide to tell me how poorly I just did is:

"I'm not really interested in your opinion of my officiating."

I've only used it twice - each time it had the desired effect of causing the critic to leave without saying another word.

I say it very politely.

[UmpJM]

My favorite line for spectators who decide to tell me how poorly I just did is:

"I'm not really interested in your opinion of my officiating."

I've only used it twice - each time it had the desired effect of causing the critic to leave without saying another word.

I say it very politely.

An umpire wiser than I once suggested, "Thanks. I thought your team played well." (said as I keep walking)

I've used it a couple of times. Kind of fun, actually.

JM

[mstaylor]

I have on occasion told fans that everyone has an opinion, mine counts, followed by a smile.

[Guest]

Meh...eject the coach for popping off, walk to your car silently and make appropriate phone calls as needed. If you feel threatened, either call the police or jump in the car geared up, drive to a safer location, and change / post-game there.

Don't see what good popping off, no matter how witty, at people will do.

[sdix00]

As useful as this thread is, is it weird that the most useful tip I am taking away is that I can pee in my charcoal pants? I work JV games about 2 miles from the nearest bathroom. Not saying I am gonna make it a habit, but nice to know the option is there. :lol:

[grayhawk]

Don't suck and you won't have these problems.

I kid! I kid!

[HokieUmp]

As useful as this thread is, is it weird that the most useful tip I am taking away is that I can pee in my charcoal pants?

Yes. Yes, it is.