Wierd appeal

[Guest Umpire Sam]

Softball Manager ; want to appeal that the runner beat the throw to first

Base Umpire : You want to appeal a judgement call ?

Softball Manager : I think I'm entitled to an appeal.

Delbert Umpire : *You want the appeal the call?*

Softball Manager : *I want appeal the call damit call!*

Delbert Umpire : *You can't handle the call!

Umpire

Softball Manager, we live in a world that has Softball Games, and those Games have to be Umpired by People. People with ASA Uniforms.

Who's gonna do it? You Blind score keeper you Mom with 3 kids on the same team ?

I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for players, and you curse the Umpires.

You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know.

That some calls, while tragic, for your team, probably are the right right calls. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, probably calls a good games.

You don't want to appeal that call, because deep down in places you don't talk about at Hooters, you want me on that Call, you need me on that Call.

We use words like Ball,strike, safe, out. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent Umpiring Softball games.

You use them as a way to complain.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a manager who's players field pitch and hit under the blanket of the very Umpiring that I provide, and then question the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a Umpire uniform, and call a game. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Delbert Sampson

[Dannytheman]

Softball Manager ; want to appeal that the runner beat the throw to first

Base Umpire : You want to appeal a judgement call ?

Softball Manager : I think I'm entitled to an appeal.

Delbert Umpire : *You want the appeal the call?*

Softball Manager : *I want appeal the call damit call!*

Delbert Umpire : *You can't handle the call!

Umpire

Softball Manager, we live in a world that has Softball Games, and those Games have to be Umpired by People. People with ASA Uniforms.

Who's gonna do it? You Blind score keeper you Mom with 3 kids on the same team ?

I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for players, and you curse the Umpires.

You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know.

That some calls, while tragic, for your team, probably are the right right calls. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, probably calls a good games.

You don't want to appeal that call, because deep down in places you don't talk about at Hooters, you want me on that Call, you need me on that Call.

We use words like Ball,strike, safe, out. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent Umpiring Softball games.

You use them as a way to complain.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a manager who's players field pitch and hit under the blanket of the very Umpiring that I provide, and then question the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a Umpire uniform, and call a game. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Delbert Sampson

You do realize that ther next thing that happened after this was he was read his rights? "MP's guard the Colonel" :fuel:

[SanDiegoSteve]

Time for a Code Red.

[UmpJM]

Private SanDiego,

Would you please read to us the proper mechanics for a Code Red from the umpire manual? ...

[Jocko]

You can't handle the plate! Coach, we work in a ballpark with fences. Those fences have to be guarded by men with plate shoes. Who's gonna do it? You? You, coach Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep about balls and strikes and you curse the Men In Blue. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that interference calls, while tragic, probably get outs. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, gets outs. You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties you WANT me on that field. You NEED me on that field. We use words like fair, foul, strike. We use these words as the backbone to a life officiating baseball. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleep under the very blanket of arbitration I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd rather you just said, "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a chest protector and take the dish. Either way, I don't give a DAMN WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MY ZONE!

This one is MUCH better. Don't know who wrote it, but I doff my cover to them.

[UmpireSam]

I run my game how I run my game. You want to appeal my call to the site director, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 30 yards from 40000 fans who are trying to taunt me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a rule book, and make me nervous.

[soapbox]

Thanks for my laugh of the day. I believe if you read the rule book, you won't find Code Red, but also, you won't find get out of Dodge. But I think we all know what that means. No further questions for this coach. This Umpire rests his case.

[Jocko]

Thanks for my laugh of the day. I believe if you read the rule book, you won't find Code Red, but also, you won't find get out of Dodge. But I think we all know what that means. No further questions for this coach. This Umpire rests his case.

the have code reds at Disney?

[BRUMP]

You can't handle the plate! Coach, we work in a ballpark with fences. Those fences have to be guarded by men with plate shoes. Who's gonna do it? You? You, coach Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep about balls and strikes and you curse the Men In Blue. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that interference calls, while tragic, probably get outs. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, gets outs. You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties you WANT me on that field. You NEED me on that field. We use words like fair, foul, strike. We use these words as the backbone to a life officiating baseball. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleep under the very blanket of arbitration I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd rather you just said, "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a chest protector and take the dish. Either way, I don't give a DAMN WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MY ZONE!

This one is MUCH better. Don't know who wrote it, but I doff my cover to them.

hysterical

[UmpireSam]

We have Code Donald at Disney !

Code Donald means someone is about to loose their temper

And as with Donald all heck is about to break loose.

[Mr Umpire]

You can't handle the plate! Coach, we work in a ballpark with fences. Those fences have to be guarded by men with plate shoes. Who's gonna do it? You? You, coach Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep about balls and strikes and you curse the Men In Blue. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that interference calls, while tragic, probably get outs. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, gets outs. You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties you WANT me on that field. You NEED me on that field. We use words like fair, foul, strike. We use these words as the backbone to a life officiating baseball. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleep under the very blanket of arbitration I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd rather you just said, "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a chest protector and take the dish. Either way, I don't give a DAMN WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MY ZONE!

This one is MUCH better. Don't know who wrote it, but I doff my cover to them.

I am going to have to print this out, memorize it, and use in a game. I would love to have a camera at that moment.

[Jocko]

I'm going to Kinkos and have it printed on the back of my business cards next order.

[Guest umpire78]

Softball Manager                 ; want to appeal that the runner beat the throw to first

Base Umpire                        : You want to appeal a judgement call ?

Softball Manager                 : I think I'm entitled to an appeal.

Delbert Umpire                 : *You want the appeal the call?*

Softball Manager                 : *I want appeal the call damit call!*

Delbert Umpire                    : *You can't handle the call!

Umpire            

Softball Manager, we live in a world that has Softball Games, and those Games have to be Umpired by People. People with ASA Uniforms.

Who's gonna do it? You Blind score keeper you Mom with 3 kids on the same team ?

I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for players, and you curse the Umpires.

You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know.

That some calls, while tragic, for your team, probably are the right right calls. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, probably calls a good games.

You don't want to appeal that call, because deep down in places you don't talk about at Hooters, you want me on that Call, you need me on that Call.

We use words like Ball,strike, safe, out. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent Umpiring Softball games.

You use them as a way to complain.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a manager who's players field pitch and hit under the blanket of the very Umpiring that I provide, and then question the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a Umpire uniform, and call a game. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Delbert Sampson

"A Few Good Umpires?"