Dealing with it politely

[Modad]

I was the PU in a local rec league 10U last night and had my first issue with a coach. The coach had a select team of 10yo that were a traveling competetive team and had sign up for the rec league just so the could stomp the snot out of everyone else. For the first two innings this guy was chirping at every pitch and had something to say about every call on the field. Most of the time it was a snyde, passive comment. I finally got tired of it and called to him and met him halfway down the 3b line. I just said to him quietly, " sir, I have treated you and your team as gentlemen and with respect, in turn I expect the same from you. If you can't manage that I'll have to deal with it in the appropriate manner. Do you understand what I'm saying." The coach just said "yes, sir" and returned to the dugout and I neverheard another word from him until he came to shake my hand after the game. has any one else had something similar happen to them?

[mstaylor]

Sniping comments from a coach, say it ain't so. I'm not usually that nice, once upon a time I would have used your approach, but now I just hold my hand up and tell that's enough. Some guys will try ,"I hear you coach." Either way shut it down, particularly when he is heads and sholders above the other teams.

[Mike Prince]

Agree with Michael, many here adhere to:

1. Acknowledge (look at him after first chirp)

2. Warn (put hand up, "that's enough"

3. Restrict (optional step, put him in the dugout)

4. Eject(Key is to put it down early.)

No need to be overly polite about, he is trying to show you up with the chirping. Also no need to be emotional about it - stay calm. Your job is to manage the game, not make friends with a coach.My only other comment on your OP is to not call him to you/meet him halfway and have any form of two-way discussion about this - you can do all of the steps above from the plate and this puts you in charge of the situation.

[Mike Prince]

Apologies for my run-on post, that is not how it looked on my phone using the mobile template...

[mstaylor]

Better Bike?

[ukce1861]

I usually add a step to Bike's process. Ignore, Acknowledge, Warn, Eject is what I use, but to each his own. Definitely need to shut it down pretty early though.

I would also point you to OBR's General Instructions to Umpires - "Finally, be courteous, impartial and firm, and so compel respect from all." You've got the courteous part down, but I'd work on the firmness a bit. As Michael and Bike stated, we're not there to be buddies, we're there to umpire a game.

[Mike Prince]

Ukce, your steps are what I meant. I was in a hurry and for some reason put in the restrict step.

[Thunderheads]

I understand both sides of this.

I don't necessarily think that Modads approach was 'making friends' so to speak ...and in some leagues under certain circumstances this can be very effective. It will give that "nice guy, but he doesn't take any $hit" appearance...and that's not really a bad thing either.

I almost like it like this:

In every day league games, ... Modads approach can definately work, ... the other approach will work, but might be more used in a tournament setting.

Either way, ...I think they can both be done effectively, when done right, ..especially Modads approach, because we know the other way works...

[Mike Prince]

Jeff, not disagreeing with your post but the 'nice guy' approach should be used sparingly as you will eventually get walked on by a coach regardless of level. If you start off managing the game and situations firmly (and earn a reputation for doing so fairly), you can always choose moments where conversation is appropriate and effective. The reverse not so much.

[Thunderheads]

Jeff, not disagreeing with your post but the 'nice guy' approach should be used sparingly as you will eventually get walked on by a coach regardless of level. If you start off managing the game and situations firmly (and earn a reputation for doing so fairly), you can always choose moments where conversation is appropriate and effective. The reverse not so much.

Thanks bike, I totally understand that, and I agree. I guess, in my eyes (and I may be wrong, probably am )....but I just don't see what Modad did as "nice guy". It was polite, maybe, yes, but it was firm without using the stop sign and "enough." I can also see where if you did Modads approach and was too much on the polite side, you'd get railed.

That said, .... with the chirping going on before his discussion .... Modad may have let it do too far before saying something ....

Man I love this site, ...there's so many viewpoints and so much info!:Cool2:

[ukce1861]

Jeff, I don't disagree with you completely. However, I think you have to be very careful with this approach - especially if you don't know the coach well. Once you initiate a conversation with this coach, what happens if he commences to unload on you (albeit quietly)? Now, you have to eject him because of a conversation that you initiated, and nobody but you and him know why. Who looks bad?

[1dumbquestion]

Jeff, not disagreeing with your post but the 'nice guy' approach should be used sparingly as you will eventually get walked on by a coach regardless of level. If you start off managing the game and situations firmly (and earn a reputation for doing so fairly), you can always choose moments where conversation is appropriate and effective. The reverse not so much.

just thought that was an excellent line that needed rereading. 1

[Modad]

Just some more info on me personally. My everyday job is that of a coach/mentor at a residential treatment center for troubled teens. A lot of our job training is based on how to be firm and in control wothout making someone feel attacked. I definately did not talk to the coach like we were buddies at all and I wouldn't really even say thay it was a conversation as such. I really wanted to get my point accross to the man without belittling him in front of his team and felt I had accomplished that. I figured that they had had enough of a bad example on how a gentleman should act. If he does this again I probably will deal with it more like some of you guys are suggesting.

[Thunderheads]

Jeff, not disagreeing with your post but the 'nice guy' approach should be used sparingly as you will eventually get walked on by a coach regardless of level. If you start off managing the game and situations firmly (and earn a reputation for doing so fairly), you can always choose moments where conversation is appropriate and effective. The reverse not so much.

just thought that was an excellent line that needed rereading. 1

Ahhh haaaaahhhh!!! thanks 1dumb....I do believe I missed that!!!:rolleyes: