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  1. Tonight I begin a journey into the season in a different uniform at the ballpark. Instead of the powder blue and charcoal grey, I'll be donning khaki and hunter orange... with a giant snake on my back, and instead of wielding the power of judgement, instead I'll attempt to harness the power of... the microphone. That's right folks, you're lookin' at the new PA announcer for the Southern Ohio Copperheads, a college developmental league team. While I would occasionally work in the booth for my local Little League and Pony League football, those gigs were little more than "now batting" and "no smoking" announcements. Tonight's script is 55 pages. 55 pages of sponsors, PSAs, entertainment, and many words that I'm not sure how to pronounce. Oh, and did I mention that our team has about 3 names that are remotely familiar, and I don't get a pronunciation guide until a few hours before the first pitch? And that half the stuff in the script is carbon copied from last year, including names, dates, and times? And that no matter how hard I try and practice, I can't say the word "philanthropy" under pressure? I went to the Cleveland Indians spectacular last night and for the first time, instead of watching the center fielder and the umpires do their job, I focused mainly on "the voice," and boy am I in for a ride tonight. Wish me luck, fellas. I just might need it.
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