How an umpire "enjoys" himself spectating a game with the family

[SeeingEyeDog]

So with a day off and the rest of the family getting ready to depart for their spring break sojourn, I thought it would be "fun" to get them started with a ballgame with dear old Dad. So, we caught a nice minor league game today. I certainly "enjoyed" it...

Before I get to my "performance", part of what I like about going to an A-League game is that those games are umpired with 2-man crews so, it's a chance to see high level 2-man up close.

My kids are casual baseball fans at best so, on the way to the game they're asking me questions like who is my favorite player, who the best players are, how good is this team, who is going to win, etc...all of which I answer by putting on my sunglasses, starting the car, staring into the distance and saying, "Those are good questions. I don't know...I'm here for the umpires." (That needs to be a shirt, btw...)

So when PU comes out to brush the plate at the start of the game, there's a lull there which I proceed to fill with, "Wow...I mean...look at that guy brush that plate! I haven't seen a plate brushed like that since Doug Harvey worked the plate at Three Rivers Stadium in 1973! Now...I wonder if this guy is using a Libman 1030? Or maybe that's a Lehman's Amish special...it's so hard to tell these days..."

Later, on a routine rotation to third base, "Kids! Look at that! Look...at that...rotation right there! Gettin' all the way into the cut like that?!?!? Like a Boss?!?! That...is how they do that! These umpires, man! I'm havin' a moment right here..."

Good times, brothers...get out to your local A-League ballpark soon! Good seats still available!

~Dawg