Umpire down

[JaxRolo]

Privacy shield? I just let it all hang out. Try to park away from the crowd, use the car doors, sit in a chair if fully nude but If they want to provide me a dressing area I will spare them the embarrassment of having to look at my nakedness. I ALWAYS ask for a place to dress. Sometimes I win, Sometimes I'm naked for a brief moment.

The mental image is killing me!!!!

[Majordave]

Dude!  I am RRRRIPPED!!!  (In my mind)

 

 

And to quote one of my workmates, hung like a field mouse!

 

Nothing to see means no way I can be charged with indecent exposure.  Right?

 

 

Off topic but I went there.  I represented a woman once in the early 2000's who had to sue her next door neighbor (using my services, upon my recommendation) for outrageous conduct.  He kept exposing himself to her and offering his manly services (she was a recent widow-husband died from cancer).  She politely refused his offers but he kept at it.  She charged him twice on private complaints with prosecutor but his lawyer got charges dismissed due to no evidence other than her word versus his.  She was seeing a psychiatrist from all the stress which kicked in the civil claim (tort) for outrageous conduct by him.

 

I coached her to film his next "show" with a video camera.  Had to show her how to use it and to NOT use the zoom on the lens.  She caught him, brought it to me.  We had him charged with indecent exposure and harassment (communication that serves no legitimate purpose for the recipient.  We know what purposes it served him.  Haha).

 

He went to jury trial on the criminal case.  Jury watched the film.  Lots of shadowing in the video from across the yard and he was a 50 plus year old white country boy, so there wasn't that much for him to be proud of in spite of his display.  It was obvious he had his overalls down around his ankles but the reason for the charge of indecent exposure wasn't all that evident if you know what I mean.

 

The jury found him guilty of harassment and fined him $500 (no jail for this charge) but found him not guilty of indecent exposure due to the fact that they did not see his "package".

 

HAHA!  What's worse?  Being charged with indecent exposure and having to stand trial for it?  OR, being found not guilty of the charge for lack of evidence even though there is a video due to certain "shortcomings"?

 

LMAO.  We loved it back then.

 

Civil trial.  He lied, tried to say it wasn't him, then he said he didn't drink, then claimed to be drunk.  Judge told him he was a liar to his face, awarded my client $38,000.00 in damages (her psychiatrist and prescription meds bills added together and multiplied by three for punitive purposes plus a permanent restraining order to stay 500' away from her and not speak or have any contact with her or spend 6 months in jail.

 

I loved the verdict and the story.  Crazy Country law.  Hope this didn't bore anyone.