Disgraceful Behavior

[BigBlue4u]

What a sad commentary.

 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNwQ2T2ZPuC/?igsh=NjZiM2M3MzIxNA==

 

[umpstu]

2 hours ago, BigBlue4u said:

What a sad commentary.

 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNwQ2T2ZPuC/?igsh=NjZiM2M3MzIxNA==

 

Yeah, not the best day for anybody. I was once attacked by a coach after he lost a $100 over a rules protest. These types of situations are the reason I won't do travel ball.

[grayhawk]

I'm not on Instragram. Can someone convert this video?

[BLWizzRanger]

6 minutes ago, grayhawk said:

I'm not on Instragram. Can someone convert this video?

Its the video that is going around showing an umpire throwing the first punch on a coach and the ensuing wrestling match. Audio is hard to hear, but there was a back and forth before the punch and wrestling match started.

[grayhawk]

I found it:

https://x.com/dom_lucre/status/1962650505018048949

[grayhawk]

Horrible Grow some thicker skin or get out of the avocation. His first mistake was walking aggressively towards the coach on the 1B side, and then escalated his poor decision-making from there. He should never be allowed to umpire another game again.

[Velho]

1 hour ago, grayhawk said:

His first mistake was walking aggressively towards the coach on the 1B side,

This one adds another reason to the list. Don't need to get closer to someone that's going to spit in your face. Ugh.

[SeeingEyeDog]

I watched this video...many, many times prior to posting.

We can't do this. We can't do this as an umpire. We can't do this as a human being. We can't result to violence when someone says bad things to us.

I am sending out peace and love to this brother in the hopes that he can find balance and harmony within himself to make better choices in the future...not just should he ever find himself on a field of play but throughout his remaining days on the field of LIFE, man.

~Dawg

[JonnyCat]

I bet that coach will think twice about mouthing off to an umpire again! 

[beerguy55]

I'm not going to condone the behavior (for either person), but I'm not going to call it "disgraceful" either.  I can be awfully pragmatic here.

Coach FAFO.

Anything can happen when someone is bullied/abused long enough - some rise above it, some cower, some run away/leave/quit, some become bullies themselves, some self-harm, and some snap.

I don't care what setting; bully/abuse someone long enough and you'll eventually enter the second phase, which is called "find out".  Sometimes that even means you're just the last bully in a long line of them, and you happened to be the final straw.

Show me a kid who walks into a school to shoot their classmates, and I'll show you a kid who was bullied to a point of no return.  I'm not condoning it; I'm simply understanding it.  I'm not blaming any victims, nor claiming any kind of nemesis/karma...but I'm also not ignoring the role of anyone who bullied that person, whether they became a victim of the backlash or not.

I understand this umpire's response, though I condemn it. I certainly have more empathy for the umpire than the coach, and can still stand behind any punishment meted out to said umpire. Even if this umpire goes to jail or never umps again, that coach will likely think twice before abusing another one.  If that's the good that comes out of this, so be it.

On another note - I wish people would stop screaming.

[JonnyCat]

4 hours ago, beerguy55 said:

I understand this umpire's response, though I condemn it. I certainly have more empathy for the umpire than the coach, and can still stand behind any punishment meted out to said umpire. Even if this umpire goes to jail or never umps again, that coach will likely think twice before abusing another one.  If that's the good that comes out of this, so be it.

Thanks for your post and thanks for saying this. I was going to say something along those lines. 

What the F*#K do people expect? We have to constantly take the abuse? Why? Because that's the way it is? There's been many times I'd like to punch a coach right is his fat mouth for being such an asshole. But I haven't, and probably never would. But I'm not surprised it happened. Not everyone is going to put up with the BS. We all know abuse is a huge problem, but what the F*#K has any organization, save for maybe NCAA, have done about it. Yes, I'm looking at you NFHS.

There is no way I'd let anyone talk to me like that outside the baseball diamond. But we have to do it because we're supposed to be the "bigger man" and diffuse the situation. But the abuse keeps coming, and there's no real consequence for the coaches behavior.

I've worked in construction for 40 years, and I've worked with and still do, with some hard ass people. There's no way you'd get away with talking to them the way coaches talk to umpires. You'd be picking up your teeth off the ground, if you could get up.

Honestly, some people do need to be punched in the face.

[grayhawk]

12 hours ago, JonnyCat said:

Thanks for your post and thanks for saying this. I was going to say something along those lines. 

What the F*#K do people expect? We have to constantly take the abuse? Why? Because that's the way it is? There's been many times I'd like to punch a coach right is his fat mouth for being such an asshole. But I haven't, and probably never would. But I'm not surprised it happened. Not everyone is going to put up with the BS. We all know abuse is a huge problem, but what the F*#K has any organization, save for maybe NCAA, have done about it. Yes, I'm looking at you NFHS.

There is no way I'd let anyone talk to me like that outside the baseball diamond. But we have to do it because we're supposed to be the "bigger man" and diffuse the situation. But the abuse keeps coming, and there's no real consequence for the coaches behavior.

I've worked in construction for 40 years, and I've worked with and still do, with some hard ass people. There's no way you'd get away with talking to them the way coaches talk to umpires. You'd be picking up your teeth off the ground, if you could get up.

Honestly, some people do need to be punched in the face.

If an umpire is taking abuse to the point of snapping and punching someone, then he has done a terrible job of managing the game. What abuse you permit, you promote. Warnings and ejections work wonders, and if they don't then keep ejecting until they have to forfeit. This umpire sought out a confrontation with this coach. Why is he leaving the dirt circle aggressively like that? Maybe he's just poorly trained, or maybe he doesn't have the temperament for the job. I've seen emotions run high many times, but I just can't imagine it getting to this point.

[834k3r]

13 minutes ago, grayhawk said:

Maybe he's just poorly trained, or maybe he doesn't have the temperament for the job.

The two are not mutually exclusive--and a combination of the two is dangerous indeed.

[Velho]

50 minutes ago, grayhawk said:

If an umpire is taking abuse to the point of snapping and punching someone, then he has done a terrible job of managing the game. What abuse you permit, you promote. Warnings and ejections work wonders, and if they don't then keep ejecting until they have to forfeit. This umpire sought out a confrontation with this coach. Why is he leaving the dirt circle aggressively like that? Maybe he's just poorly trained, or maybe he doesn't have the temperament for the job. I've seen emotions run high many times, but I just can't imagine it getting to this point.

Not excusing but adding context: I believe the coach had already been ejected but refused to leave.

[grayhawk]

48 minutes ago, Velho said:

Not excusing but adding context: I believe the coach had already been ejected but refused to leave.

Instruct the teams to put all players in the dugouts. If the coach refuses, and still refuses to leave, then suspend the game and let the league deal with forfeit and any other repercussions. 

[The Man in Blue]

On 9/2/2025 at 11:28 AM, grayhawk said:

I found it:

https://x.com/dom_lucre/status/1962650505018048949

 

I'll reiterate the request since I don't click on either . . . but I understand if somebody doesn't want to do the work for me.  That's my choice.

[Velho]

47 minutes ago, The Man in Blue said:

I'll reiterate the request since I don't click on either . . . but I understand if somebody doesn't want to do the work for me.  That's my choice.

No sound since I'm at work on a different computer. Audio you miss is PU "You showing me up again?" as he heads up the line and the coach then calling PU "A little bit*h" 

[BLWizzRanger]

On 9/2/2025 at 11:41 PM, JonnyCat said:

I bet that coach will think twice about mouthing off to an umpire again! 

Coach, and maybe the umpire, is lucky the mask only swiped his head and didn't make flush contact. 

[grayhawk]

19 minutes ago, Velho said:

Audio you miss is

The lady saying, "Oh helllll to the no." 

[Velho]

11 minutes ago, grayhawk said:

The lady saying, "Oh helllll to the no." 

Yeah, LOL, I deleted my comment on that. Like momma said, "if you can't say something nice..."

[beerguy55]

2 hours ago, grayhawk said:

but I just can't imagine it getting to this point

What you can or can't imagine is irrelevant.

First off - There aren't enough people with the temperament you want in an umpire to fill all the umpire positions. 

Anyway - You're assuming this umpire got from zero to his breaking point in this one game.  How about maybe over weeks, months or years culminating in a "last straw" moment.  However that was allowed to happen, it happens.

Those who are bullied/abused, over time, will reach their tipping point in different ways, and will respond in different ways. It's shortsighted for anyone to say, "well that happened to me, and I didn't react that way". 

We've all seen videos of umpires who just up and quit in the middle of the game...or call a strike three feet off the plate to get the game over with...this video just shows a different response mechanism to the same conditions.  Whether the response is or isn't appropriate is secondary to what actually caused the response.

The abuse, whether from coaches, players or spectators, bounces off you with no effect?  Good for you.  Not everyone is so fortunate. Maybe you have high EQ and understand appropriate coping mechanisms. Maybe you have a good therapist.  Maybe you have a strong support system. Maybe you're the best internalizer in the world.  Or maybe you get in your car and sob like a child.  Or maybe you drive home angry, and others on the road get to deal with it.  Maybe you take that home with you, and your loved ones get to deal with your cheerful self for a little while.  Or maybe you drink a little too much.  Maybe your blood pressure is a little high.  Maybe you don't even recognize what it's doing to you. Or maybe maybe maybe.  The possibilities for how humans respond to this are endless and are only limited by your, or my, imagination.

How you would or would not respond has nothing to do with how another human being would respond.  And no amount of training or upbringing or intestinal fortitude will alter their breaking point.  Even if you're an expert at nipping in-game abuse in the bud, it's still there. Warnings and ejections don't erase the abuse that led to them.  Let alone the other side of the fence.  Claim to ignore it all you want. Abuse is abuse and it wears on everyone who is subjected to it...it's only a matter of how much and how long. And you may never see it coming.

[The Man in Blue]

1 hour ago, Velho said:

No sound since I'm at work on a different computer. Audio you miss is PU "You showing me up again?" as he heads up the line and the coach then calling PU "A little bit*h" 

Umpire Coach Fight 2025-09.mov

 

You are my hero, @Velho.

Not sure I want to see that with sound.

[The Man in Blue]

Excellent comment, @beerguy55.

We need to stop buying into the "games must be played" mentality.  That is part of what keeps guys and gals pushing themselves too hard when they may need some down time. 

We need to recognize the importance of self-care and when it is time to take a little time off.  We also need to recognize that in others and feel comfortable bringing it up.  That is tough to do if your area is like mine, and you are working with somebody different every game.

There is a sordid story going around my area about a basketball and football crew that were shattered and a career blown up because one of them lost his SH*# on his crewmates at a tournament.  Screaming, swearing, throwing chairs in the dressing room . . . and it was at a parochial school where everything was heard in the hall and the concession stand.  We have to realize that the game may "need" us, but it will also go on without us when we need to step aside for personal or professional reasons.

[grayhawk]

2 hours ago, beerguy55 said:

Anyway - You're assuming this umpire got from zero to his breaking point in this one game.  How about maybe over weeks, months or years culminating in a "last straw" moment.  However that was allowed to happen, it happens.

It happened to this guy. I doesn't "happen" in general because if it did, we would have seen many videos over the years of umpires punching coaches after their "last straw" moment. This is exceedingly rare. And that is my point. This guy just shouldn't be an umpire if he resorts to violence for ANY reason other than to defend himself (or perhaps someone else that's in danger).

2 hours ago, beerguy55 said:

this video just shows a different response mechanism to the same conditions.  Whether the response is or isn't appropriate is secondary to what actually caused the response.

It's not whether it is or isn't appropriate. It's completely and totally unacceptable.

2 hours ago, beerguy55 said:

The abuse, whether from coaches, players or spectators, bounces off you with no effect?  Good for you.  Not everyone is so fortunate. Maybe you have high EQ and understand appropriate coping mechanisms. Maybe you have a good therapist.  Maybe you have a strong support system. Maybe you're the best internalizer in the world.  Or maybe you get in your car and sob like a child.  Or maybe you drive home angry, and others on the road get to deal with it.  Maybe you take that home with you, and your loved ones get to deal with your cheerful self for a little while.  Or maybe you drink a little too much.  Maybe your blood pressure is a little high.  Maybe you don't even recognize what it's doing to you. Or maybe maybe maybe.  The possibilities for how humans respond to this are endless and are only limited by your, or my, imagination.

It's not about me. It's about every other umpire that has received abuse, but never resorted to violence. As in, nearly every other umpire that's ever worked a game.

2 hours ago, beerguy55 said:

How you would or would not respond has nothing to do with how another human being would respond.  And no amount of training or upbringing or intestinal fortitude will alter their breaking point.  Even if you're an expert at nipping in-game abuse in the bud, it's still there. Warnings and ejections don't erase the abuse that led to them.  Let alone the other side of the fence.  Claim to ignore it all you want. Abuse is abuse and it wears on everyone who is subjected to it...it's only a matter of how much and how long. And you may never see it coming.

Abuse is also unacceptable, and we have tools to deal with it. Violence is never one of those tools.

[The Man in Blue]

I didn't read @beerguy55's comments as accepting or justifying that in any way, shape, or form.

Understanding what happened allows us to help prevent it from happening again.  That was the point.

Simply bashing the guy and acting like "you just need thicker skin" is the reaction that pushes people away from seeking help or recognizing they need to take a breather.

When the D1 umpire called the strike bouncing in the batter's box a few years ago, it was easy to quickly jump on him and say "Damn, I should be a D1 ump because I can do better than that."  I cautioned that we needed to get the full story, and yes . . . there was a notable story.  It doesn't justify it, but it allowed us to relate and understand how we got there.