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The Worst Umpire ...


Kali

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During a recent "conversation" with a coach I ejected from a High School Playoff contest, I was called "The Worst Umpire in the World".  I know that I shouldn't but that immediately got me thinking, really?  In the whole world?  Like, how many umpires has this guy seen?  But now that I have the title, the rest of you can all relax.  You may be awful but, I'm the worst. 

And yet, I was thinking about starting a club.  The only membership requirement being that you have been dubbed "The Worst Umpire (I've ever seen), (We've ever had) (etc.) during a game sometime.  We could have monthly meetings and sit around and share our worst umpiring techniques.  Let me know if you qualify for membership.  But, just so you know, I'd be the President of the club, cause I'm the worst there is.

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Had a Grand Dad walk me out to my car after a game when his grand kid could not find an enlarged zone that was shoulders to shins and all the way from batters box to batters box.  No joke the catcher was catching his lob pitches either over his head and the batters OR in the opposite batters box.  Now I had a large strike zone already but apparently from the beyond 3rd base dugout bleachers  HE could see that zone better than me.  I was the absolute worst umpire he had ever seen and I did not know anything about baseball.  Also when I noted really I had a pretty good couple seasons in Legion where I batted over 600.  He told me he played in the babe ruth world series ... I laughed at him.. Told him that was great and said why dont you sign up to be an umpire than?

At that point the treasurer of the league was rodeoing him away from me and telling him to knock it off. Went on to tell him he owed me an apology as they do not do this type of thing to umpires here. then told him as he drove off he had his plate # and would figure out who he was.  The league did and they banned him for life from their facility..

 

sigh. the whole time I was laughing at him and his mis understanding of where his grand son was throwing the ball and NOT throwing the ball which was inside the strike zone. 

Any who yeah Worlds worst umpire reporting 

lets see the was also 10U LL in my 1st year doing the plate.  

I gotta say this too.. knowing where I was and was not calling them 7 years later now I still would have called them all balls back then too.

 

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Sorry @Kali and @ArchAngel72 I already have this title.

In a HS varsity game I had a kid duck on a curve ball and it hit him square in the head (helmet), directly over the plate, waist high.

Third base coach, also the head coach, came flying down when I called it a strike... "what, what, you didn't see it hit him in the head?"  I said coach I sure did and his head was in the middle of the strike zone.  After about 20 seconds of nonsense I told him we're done please return to the coaching box.  Of course, he didn't so I restricted him.  As he was going to the dugout I GOT THE TITLE!!!  And the reason I claim it over you two is because this coach added "and I've been doing this for 42 years".  Plus all of his fans agreed, so it clearly belongs to me, one coach and 20 fans agree.

On a positive note though I did spare him from watching the worst umpire in the world by sending him to the bus. 

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9 hours ago, stevis said:

I feel like if we made pins or wicking shirts, there's a merchandising opportunity here.

Oh yes, there most surely is.  Which of us would not buy (and wear) a shirt that says "Worst Umpire in the World" proudly?  Or something else we've been told or called?  "Hey Blue, do you have your phone because you've missed several calls?"  "It's really too bad you didn't bring your glasses today because you're missing a great game!" Etc.

I'd love to get some of these made and wear them under my CP on the plate or shirt in the field!  It'd be a subtle way of pushing back, okay - fine, being rebellious, without putting it too much in their face. 

 

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2 hours ago, wolfe_man said:

Oh yes, there most surely is.  Which of us would not buy (and wear) a shirt that says "Worst Umpire in the World" proudly?  Or something else we've been told or called?  "Hey Blue, do you have your phone because you've missed several calls?"  "It's really too bad you didn't bring your glasses today because you're missing a great game!" Etc.

I'd love to get some of these made and wear them under my CP on the plate or shirt in the field!  It'd be a subtle way of pushing back, okay - fine, being rebellious, without putting it too much in their face. 

 

 

Lets make a list of sayings and post your shirt sizes here.

 

I will look at some "wicking" shirts online from a vendor

they will be looser style not the skin tight form shaping type.  those the print would not stay on very long due to stretching 

 

So yes welcome to THE CLUB

 

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1 hour ago, ArchAngel72 said:

 

Lets make a list of sayings and post your shirt sizes here.

 

I will look at some "wicking" shirts online from a vendor

they will be looser style not the skin tight form shaping type.  those the print would not stay on very long due to stretching 

 

So yes welcome to THE CLUB

 

"C'mon Blue! There's a game going on here!"

XL

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Many of you and my colleagues across the land know this story. In my now-14th year of umpiring, in the full gambit of skill and age levels, accounting for 4,000+ games… I myself have only had Coach ejections. 
2 of those 4 were the same guy… on successive nights of seeing him as PU… for saying the same “catch phrase” both times. 

This was summer college wood bat, with a team called the SabreDogs hosting a team named the Trappers. The Dogs started rather auspiciously, giving up 8 runs in the top of the 1st, and dowsing the record-setting capacity crowd’s start-of-game energy. Well, the Dogs started to climb back into it, and in the bottom of the 4th, they had potentially made it an 8-4 ballgame with a long, towering solo HR over the right field fence by their 6’3”, size-14 shoe-wearing Right Fielder… except he stepped right over the plate. Everyone in the stands and in the Trappers dugout saw it. So, it was with a collective bated breath that I put the (next) ball into play, the F1 stepped off, and lobbed the ball to the F2, who promptly stepped on home plate. I made the Out mechanic. The scoreboard immediately changed (back) to 8-3. 

No sooner had I made the Out mechanic that one superheated Dogs manager was on me. I  compare it to George Brett and the Pine Tar Incident, the speed with which CT – the manager – covered the turf from the dugout to the back of the home plate circle. 

I’m paraphrasing… 
“How can you make that call?!”
”Real simple. He stepped over the plate.” 
“You didn’t see that!” 
“CT, everyone saw it.” 
“There’s no f**king way! No f**king way you call that! On a home run!” 
“Sure there is. I just did. He didn’t touch the plate.” 
“Well you’re the worst f**king umpire in the league to call that sh!t!!”

”You’re done!” 

CT then proceeded to carry on for a few more choice words, then stomped to the dugout, grabbed every bat within reach, and hurled them all onto the playing field. 

The sad part of the story, the Dogs rallied and won the game, 9-8, without him. CT received a scolding and suspension from the league for 2 games, along with a copy of the video feed, freeze-framed at the exact moment his Right Fielder steps completely over the plate, supplied by the ever-cheerful Kate, one of the league media specialists. 

So my crew and I travel to the Trappers’ home park, to do a 2-game series with the visiting HotShots. The day after that wraps, I’m back on the plate for… a visit from the SabreDogs. 🙄 

It’s the bottom of the 7th, and the Trappers have managed to get their fastest player, an Altuve-esque 2nd baseman, on 3B. One of their charismatic hitters, their center fielder named Jonathan, is up to bat. Having been a catcher for 16 years of my life, I read hitters and their quirks, and Jonathan had a known habit of working his wrists with the bat, alá Gary Sheffield. We get to a 1-1 count, and Jonathan suddenly stays stock still in the box, no movement whatsoever. Sure enough, I hear it coming, and pick up a white blur from my left peripheral vision – R3 is stealing home. The pitch comes right down the pipe for Strike 2, the F2 receives it, and lunges out to make a late tag on the R3, who has executed a perfect headfirst slide to the plate, slapping it with his right hand under and before the tag upon his shoulder. 
I come up with a big “Safe!” 

F2 is understandably upset. He’s stomping around, claiming that he tagged him, he’s out, and I f**ked the call up. He’s not facing me, so I’m withholding dumping him, but on the verge. Well, CT, fresh off his suspension served, comes out and intercedes between his irate F2 and me, and adopts an inquisitorial stance… 

“What’s this? What did you call?”
”He’s safe. He was tagged after he touched the plate.” 
“Not possible. Alex tagged him.”
”Yeah, after the runner touched the plate.” 
“Not possible! That’s just not possible!” 
“Sure it’s possible, because that’s what happened.”
”Nope. Not possible. You were right the other night, but there’s no way you’re right twice!” 
“Well, that’s what I’ve got, CT.” 
“Yeah, worst f**king umpire in the league!” 

<BOOP!> “You’re done!” 

Oh, and I nearly forgot to add... the next day, I get a visit from Kate, who has a freeze-frame of the exact moment that speedy 2nd Baseman slaps home plate... and Alex hasn't tagged him yet. 😁

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Obviously, I need to up my game. I've never been "the worst umpire ever", only just "Terrible" or "Horrible". 

Although I might have one no one else has...after ejecting a 14u runner for MC for jump sliding and continuing with a rolling body block on F4 on a steal attempt, he stated, "C'mon Blue, are you delusional?  You must be on LSD!"

 

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On 6/27/2023 at 11:54 AM, MadMax said:

Many of you and my colleagues across the land know this story. In my now-14th year of umpiring, in the full gambit of skill and age levels, accounting for 4,000+ games… I myself have only had Coach ejections. 
2 of those 4 were the same guy… on successive nights of seeing him as PU… for saying the same “catch phrase” both times. 

This was summer college wood bat, with a team called the SabreDogs hosting a team named the Trappers. The Dogs started rather auspiciously, giving up 8 runs in the top of the 1st, and dowsing the record-setting capacity crowd’s start-of-game energy. Well, the Dogs started to climb back into it, and in the bottom of the 4th, they had potentially made it an 8-4 ballgame with a long, towering solo HR over the right field fence by their 6’3”, size-14 shoe-wearing Right Fielder… except he stepped right over the plate. Everyone in the stands and in the Trappers dugout saw it. So, it was with a collective bated breath that I put the (next) ball into play, the F1 stepped off, and lobbed the ball to the F2, who promptly stepped on home plate. I made the Out mechanic. The scoreboard immediately changed (back) to 8-3. 

No sooner had I made the Out mechanic that one superheated Dogs manager was on me. I  compare it to George Brett and the Pine Tar Incident, the speed with which CT – the manager – covered the turf from the dugout to the back of the home plate circle. 

I’m paraphrasing… 
“How can you make that call?!”
”Real simple. He stepped over the plate.” 
“You didn’t see that!” 
“CT, everyone saw it.” 
“There’s no f**king way! No f**king way you call that! On a home run!” 
“Sure there is. I just did. He didn’t touch the plate.” 
“Well you’re the worst f**king umpire in the league to call that sh!t!!”

”You’re done!” 

CT then proceeded to carry on for a few more choice words, then stomped to the dugout, grabbed every bat within reach, and hurled them all onto the playing field. 

The sad part of the story, the Dogs rallied and won the game, 9-8, without him. CT received a scolding and suspension from the league for 2 games, along with a copy of the video feed, freeze-framed at the exact moment his Right Fielder steps completely over the plate, supplied by the ever-cheerful Kate, one of the league media specialists. 

So my crew and I travel to the Trappers’ home park, to do a 2-game series with the visiting HotShots. The day after that wraps, I’m back on the plate for… a visit from the SabreDogs. 🙄 

It’s the bottom of the 7th, and the Trappers have managed to get their fastest player, an Altuve-esque 2nd baseman, on 3B. One of their charismatic hitters, their center fielder named Jonathan, is up to bat. Having been a catcher for 16 years of my life, I read hitters and their quirks, and Jonathan had a known habit of working his wrists with the bat, alá Gary Sheffield. We get to a 1-1 count, and Jonathan suddenly stays stock still in the box, no movement whatsoever. Sure enough, I hear it coming, and pick up a white blur from my left peripheral vision – R3 is stealing home. The pitch comes right down the pipe for Strike 2, the F2 receives it, and lunges out to make a late tag on the R3, who has executed a perfect headfirst slide to the plate, slapping it with his right hand under and before the tag upon his shoulder. 
I come up with a big “Safe!” 

F2 is understandably upset. He’s stomping around, claiming that he tagged him, he’s out, and I f**ked the call up. He’s not facing me, so I’m withholding dumping him, but on the verge. Well, CT, fresh off his suspension served, comes out and intercedes between his irate F2 and me, and adopts an inquisitorial stance… 

“What’s this? What did you call?”
”He’s safe. He was tagged after he touched the plate.” 
“Not possible. Alex tagged him.”
”Yeah, after the runner touched the plate.” 
“Not possible! That’s just not possible!” 
“Sure it’s possible, because that’s what happened.”
”Nope. Not possible. You were right the other night, but there’s no way you’re right twice!” 
“Well, that’s what I’ve got, CT.” 
“Yeah, worst f**king umpire in the league!” 

<BOOP!> “You’re done!” 

Oh, and I nearly forgot to add... the next day, I get a visit from Kate, who has a freeze-frame of the exact moment that speedy 2nd Baseman slaps home plate... and Alex hasn't tagged him yet. 😁

"collective bated breath" are you sure you were not at the Father's Little Dividend movie. but i think the the phrase was "bated baby's breath".

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