Jump to content

How many umpires does it take to change a light bulb?

Umpire in Chief

By Umpire in Chief
in Humor

 Share
Umpire-Empire locks topics which have not been active in the last year. The thread you are viewing hasn't been active in 2804 days so you will not be able to post. We do recommend you starting a new topic to find out what's new in the world of umpiring.

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 28
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

Umpire in Chief
Umpire in Chief

My son told me he made this one up, I've never heard it before. How many umpires does it take to change a light bulb??? None, they like them ou

JHSump
JHSump

10. One to change the light bulb, 9 to comment on whether his pants drape properly on his shoes as he reaches for the bulb.

ElkOil
ElkOil

Posted Images

  • 2 months later...
JHSump

JHSump

Posted
Posted

10.

One to change the light bulb, 9 to comment on whether his pants drape properly on his shoes as he reaches for the bulb.

  • Like 3
Ump29

Ump29

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, maven said:

Extra credit: who has light bulb coverage in 3-umpire, 4-umpire, and 6-umpire mechanics?

Scorekeeper.

  • 1 year later...
umpstu

umpstu

Posted
Posted
On 3/22/2016 at 6:42 AM, Umpire in Chief said:

My son told me he made this one up, I've never heard it before.

How many umpires does it take to change a light bulb???

None, they like them out.. 

 

Stop it right now while you're ahead.  

What does a grape and a chicken have in common? They're both purple except for the chicken.

JHSump

JHSump

Posted
Posted

Ok, now we are veering off the original track. So, I can submit this joke I just hear on the radio --- driving home from doing a game (see, that's the umpiring connection):

A photon checks into a hotel and gets asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He answers, "No, I'm traveling light."

  • Like 2
ElkOil

ElkOil

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, umpstu said:

Stop it right now while you're ahead.  

What does a grape and a chicken have in common? They're both purple except for the chicken.

giphy.gif

  • Like 3
kylehutson

kylehutson

Posted
Posted
57 minutes ago, JHSump said:

Ok, now we are veering off the original track. So, I can submit this joke I just hear on the radio --- driving home from doing a game (see, that's the umpiring connection):

A photon checks into a hotel and gets asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He answers, "No, I'm traveling light."

If we're going to go with the physics jokes...

An electron is driving his car down the road and gets pulled over. The cop says "Did you know you were going 90 miles an hour?" The electron says "Crap. Now I don't know where I am."

  • Like 2
ALStripes17

ALStripes17

Posted
Posted
If we're going to go with the physics jokes...
An electron is driving his car down the road and gets pulled over. The cop says "Did you know you were going 90 miles an hour?" The electron says "Crap. Now I don't know where I am."

Can't beat a good Heisenberg joke... Nerd alert!

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

  • 2 weeks later...
Rulekeep

Rulekeep

Posted
Posted
On 6/27/2017 at 7:46 PM, BT_Blue said:

First joke I heard from our Amazon Echo...

Q: "What does a sub-atomic duck say?"

A: "Quark"

 

quark.gif

  • Like 2
BT_Blue

BT_Blue

Posted
Posted
On 7/9/2017 at 10:33 PM, Rulekeep said:

 

quark.gif

Of course this was the first thing I thought of when I heard the joke.

I've always wanted a book with the list of Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. I'm sure it is out there. Just never gotten around to actually looking.

maven

maven

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, BT_Blue said:

I've always wanted a book with the list of Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. I'm sure it is out there. Just never gotten around to actually looking.

A list of all known rules is indeed out there.

Rulekeep

Rulekeep

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, BT_Blue said:

Of course this was the first thing I thought of when I heard the joke.

I've always wanted a book with the list of Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. I'm sure it is out there. Just never gotten around to actually looking.

http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules_of_Acquisition

Never spend money on what you can find for free. 

EDIT: dammit, maven beat me to it and I went in before viewing the rest of the thread. 

  • Like 1
Stk004

Stk004

Posted
Posted
On 7/11/2017 at 7:44 PM, maven said:

A list of all known rules is indeed out there.

I don't think anybody is shocked that maven had rules on hand ready to go. Even if they're......... uh, Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. 

  • Like 1
Stk004

Stk004

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, BrianC14 said:

 

How many umpires does it take to change a light bulb?
 
None.  Because the GOAT has already taken care of it.  
Heheheheee
 

tombrady.jpg

Where's the sensitive material button to have this removed? :bang:

  • Like 3
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...