alex7 233 Posted January 27, 2014 Report Share Posted January 27, 2014 Warren can't delete this thread fast enough. He's hard at work trying to come up with some of his own. Only then can he allow himself to delete the thread. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PonyUmpire 99 Posted January 27, 2014 Report Share Posted January 27, 2014 I guess I'm a funpire. "If you can't umpire hungover, you can't umpire" - Don Denkinger Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tjwoelfel13 106 Posted February 1, 2014 Report Share Posted February 1, 2014 Is an umpire who makes bread a crumbpire Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jocko 2,594 Posted February 2, 2014 Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 If one asks a lot of silly questions is he a dumb-pire?no. Just Rolo :givebeer: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jocko 2,594 Posted February 2, 2014 Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 If one is a mime, he must be a mumpire if he hitchhikes to games, he's a thumbpire Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jocko 2,594 Posted February 2, 2014 Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 And if he makes porn, he's a...........nevermind Will opening day EVER get here ?!?!?!? :hopmad: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rulekeep 508 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 And if he makes porn, he's a...........nevermind Will opening day EVER get here ?!?!?!? One of my buddies already beat you to that one. Great minds think alike. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin Finnerty 290 Posted February 3, 2014 Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 If he's an umpire that can't come up with a decent pun that means he must be in a slumpire. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catcher 42 Posted February 3, 2014 Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 If umpires sit around in January making puns, are they really, really sad people? I know the answer to this one. YES 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rulekeep 508 Posted February 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 If he's an umpire that can't come up with a decent pun that means he must be in a slumpire. Boom. That's me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
maven 4,928 Posted February 3, 2014 Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 Les Canadiens ce s'appellent umpierres. FIFY. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rulekeep 508 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Sorry for bringing back a dead thread but...is an umpire who just split up with their significant other a dumpedpire? I'm about to be a shunnedpire, aren't I? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Forest Ump 137 Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Untrained Alabama umpires are Forrest Gumpires. My favorite so far. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MadMax 2,261 Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 An official who is a real tool is an umplier. An umpire who plays with matches makes umfires. Or umpyres. If Bilbo Baggins would be involved in baseball, would he be an umpshire? Would Captain Jack Sparrow be in a baseball game, if he could be a rumpire? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rulekeep 508 Posted September 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 An official who is a real tool is an umplier. An umpire who plays with matches makes umfires. Or umpyres. If Bilbo Baggins would be involved in baseball, would he be an umpshire? Would Captain Jack Sparrow be in a baseball game, if he could be a rumpire? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
goody14 90 Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Lance Armstrong's doctors once diagnosed him as a lumpire... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rich Ives 1,165 Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Is Little Jack Horner a plumpire? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rulekeep 508 Posted September 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Is Little Jack Horner a plumpire? I think the generation gap is showing here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rich Ives 1,165 Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Is Little Jack Horner a plumpire? I think the generation gap is showing here. No one read you nursery rhymes? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rulekeep 508 Posted September 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Is Little Jack Horner a plumpire? I think the generation gap is showing here. No one read you nursery rhymes? Uh, no.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rich Ives 1,165 Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Is Little Jack Horner a plumpire? I think the generation gap is showing here. No one read you nursery rhymes? Uh, no.... Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating his Christmas Pie He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a plum And said "What a good boy am I". Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack fell down And broke his crown. And Jill came tumbling after. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Thunderheads 3,074 Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Lance Armstrong's doctors once diagnosed him as a lumpire... probably the least funniest thing I've ever seen on this site. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rulekeep 508 Posted September 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Is Little Jack Horner a plumpire?I think the generation gap is showing here. No one read you nursery rhymes?Uh, no.... Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating his Christmas Pie He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a plum And said "What a good boy am I". Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack fell down And broke his crown. And Jill came tumbling after. What the hell kind of purpose do those serve?!!? Lance Armstrong's doctors once diagnosed him as a lumpire... probably the least funniest thing I've ever seen on this site. 'Greed. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rich Ives 1,165 Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Is Little Jack Horner a plumpire? I think the generation gap is showing here. No one read you nursery rhymes? Uh, no.... Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating his Christmas Pie He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a plum And said "What a good boy am I". Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack fell down And broke his crown. And Jill came tumbling after. What the hell kind of purpose do those serve?!!? . They're some of the nursery rhymes you said you hadn't heard. Includes the one about Jack Horner and my plumpire source. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Matt 1,585 Posted September 2, 2014 Report Share Posted September 2, 2014 Would Captain Jack Sparrow be in a baseball game, if he could be a rumpire? No, but Sir Mix-A-Lot would be. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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