Funny "one-liners" with coaches.....

[Platejob29]

This last weekend, my partner called a 12/6 curve a strike. The OC thought the pitch was high and voiced his disapproval. Nanoseconds later, a fan, who shared the coaches opinion, screamed, "C'mon Blue, that pitch was higher than Jerry Garcia!"

Oh what fun you and Beeneo had without me before I got there. Oh found out one of my moms students plays on that team we had that lost in the championship. He saw my picture in her class room and recognized me. Apparently the balk I called on their team was "terrible" and I was "awful". My mom asked him if he actually saw the balk and he said no he was going to the bathroom when it happened. 

[Umpire in Chief]

Here's one I actually did use in a PONY game years ago.

 

I have the bases and a close play at first. I called the runner out.

 

The first base coach goes nuts saying it was a tie and that the tie goes to the runner.

 

I walked over to the coach quietly and said in a low voice, "They changed that one last year. Now the runner has to beat the ball."

 

The coach replied, "Oh, yeah I remember. Good call." 

[kylejt]

"Why should I bother to bust my butt to get into the proper position, and use great timing, if I'm just going to ask my partner, who's 120 feet away, about my judgement?"

 

One of my Junior umpires to a long time manager.

[wbeene13]

several weeks ago HTHC who was getting beat 7-0 comes over to me before his team comes up to bat and say "Blue I apologize for our terrible showing this game and I understand there are about 15 minutes left in this game, so I need you to make your best call all day as soon as we finish going 3 up 3 down and make those 15 minutes disappear. So we can go home."   so after they make the 3rd out I all ballgame and HTHC comes up to me again to thank me for making the best call he had ever seen.

[FlaUmp22]

I am doing a 16U tournament championship game on the dish... I ring a kid up for strike 3 for the 3rd out and a group of parents go CRAZY in the stands, as the coach walks past me going back to the dugout he stops and says "I know you were right, that group is a bunch of idiots, I just have to stop by and say hi because my wife is apart of that group"

[KLAH316]

Last night, 11U.

1BC is a current D1 and former AAA Umpire.  Nice guy!

Lefty F1 steps toward 1B but decides not to throw it.  As I'm starting to yell balk I hear him "That's a balk!"

I give him a look and tap my chest as if to say that's my call.

 

He hollers out to me "My bad, habit!"    We got a good laugh out of it.

Last night..... Same league team as the above post with the D1 Umpire as a coach (Let's just call him Bob).

 

His son is F1, bases loaded. From the stretch, he steps directly toward 3B and feints the throw.  My partner and I immediately call the balk. 

Bob comes out "Kevin, Kevin that is NOT a balk"  I say Yes it is Bob and start to send the runners.  He's still adamant "That is not a balk"  So I tell him "Bob, you can not fake to 3rd just like a LHP can't fake to 1st".  He actually tells me "I know you can't go 3rd to 1st anymore"   "but uou can fake to 3rd."  I tell him "No, that's the balk".  I explained to him that when they changed the rule, all they did was add "Or third" to the existing rule. I also told him that it wasn't a HS or College rule yet.  He said ok and walked away.

 

Between innings, Bob came out and apologized for questioning the call.  He said "You guys called it so quick, I figured I screwed up".  We had a good laugh and the game proceeded.  Like I said above, he's a great guy and I love calling his games!

 

After the game, my partner was asking what the argument was all about and I told him.  He said he was actually thinking to himself "Kevin, you are arguing rules with a D1 umpire"  I told him "Yup, and I won!"

[Rich Ives]

Here's one I actually did use in a PONY game years ago.

 

I have the bases and a close play at first. I called the runner out.

 

The first base coach goes nuts saying it was a tie and that the tie goes to the runner.

 

I walked over to the coach quietly and said in a low voice, "They changed that one last year. Now the runner has to beat the ball."

 

The coach replied, "Oh, yeah I remember. Good call." 

 

Lying to the coach isn't a good way to enhance your reputation.

[conbo61]

A few years ago in a Jr. Legion game I called a runner out on a whacker at first.  The OC took umbrage with my decision and came out to let me know.

 

When he was done, I went back to the "A" and the 1B Coach, who is a young fellow I know from HS ball, says to me " i don't know how you guys take all that abuse."

 

I replied "What is he going to do? Yell at me? I've been married for almost 20 years.  I have been lit up by a Professional."

 

After he stopped laughing he said that was the best answer he ever heard.

[catcher]

My own favorite (not as good as the ones on here but the best ive done):

After i called a first baseman off the bag

VC: I dont know if you know this, but we teach our first basemen to stand next to the bag.

me: yup, thats why i called the runner safe.

[KLAH316]

Had another funny one this morning.....

14U USSSA, I'm BU, outs/runners dont matter.

Very close play at 1B.... I call SAFE!

DM comes out to me and asks "What happened? Did my guy come off the bag?"

Me: "No. Runner beat it."

DM: "But it was Bang-bang..."

Me: "Yup"

DM turned around and walked back to his dugout.....

[UMP45]

 

Here's one I actually did use in a PONY game years ago.

 

I have the bases and a close play at first. I called the runner out.

 

The first base coach goes nuts saying it was a tie and that the tie goes to the runner.

 

I walked over to the coach quietly and said in a low voice, "They changed that one last year. Now the runner has to beat the ball."

 

The coach replied, "Oh, yeah I remember. Good call." 

 

Lying to the coach isn't a good way to enhance your reputation.

 

But a coach lying to an umpire enhances HIS reputation. 

[BillKen]

Today I was working HP in a 10U tournament and the pitcher (lefty) steps towards home and throws to 1st.  My partner and I both immediately call the balk and the coach asks me why.  I told him what he did and he replied, "He can go 45 degrees!"  I replied, "That was about 48 coach!"

 

FWIW, exact same thing happened about 2 innings later and that coach got to see the rest of the game from his van in LF.

[Richvee]

Home team up big, top 5. Mercy rule in effect. 2 outs, 2 strikes on the batter. My partner call a ball on a pitch just off the plate. HTHC yells to my partner,  "hey Tommy, you're wife called, dinner's on the table" 

[johnnyg08]

Home team up big, top 5. Mercy rule in effect. 2 outs, 2 strikes on the batter. My partner call a ball on a pitch just off the plate. HTHC yells to my partner,  "hey Tommy, you're wife called, dinner's on the table" 

 

hopefully he was ejected

[Richvee]

 

Home team up big, top 5. Mercy rule in effect. 2 outs, 2 strikes on the batter. My partner call a ball on a pitch just off the plate. HTHC yells to my partner,  "hey Tommy, you're wife called, dinner's on the table" 

 

hopefully he was ejected

 

Nah. It's a local travel ball team. We both know the coach well. It wasn't said maliciously or angrily. More in the joking vein. If you knew the guy you'd know he meant nothing by it. Even the VTHC got a chuckle out of it.    

[charliej47]

Eight years ago I did a u12 competitive (traveling team) in West Chester, Ohio.  The VHC started complaining about my strike zone in the 2nd inning and I told him to stop.  In the 3rd inning he started up again and I called "Time!".

 

I asked the coach how he got to the game, he said "I drove.".  I asked him if he had his keys and he said yes.  I said "go find your car".  This was the 1st game of a double.

 

After the game, I sent the AC to find him and tell him he could come back for the 2nd game if he could behave.  He came back and apologized.

 

The funny thing was some of the fans heard me tell him to go find his car.

 

I ran into one of the parents a couple of weeks ago and he said that they still laugh about the time the coach got tossed.

[johnnyg08]

Home team up big, top 5. Mercy rule in effect. 2 outs, 2 strikes on the batter. My partner call a ball on a pitch just off the plate. HTHC yells to my partner,  "hey Tommy, you're wife called, dinner's on the table"

 

hopefully he was ejected

Nah. It's a local travel ball team. We both know the coach well. It wasn't said maliciously or angrily. More in the joking vein. If you knew the guy you'd know he meant nothing by it. Even the VTHC got a chuckle out of it.

I can understand that. All about context.

[KLAH316]

Today.....

I'm BU, and I call interference on the front end of a Double Play and then call BR out for the 3rd of the inning.

Manager comes over to ask me about it.....

 

I tell him that his runner ran right at the F4 and he needs to slide or get out of the way.  Manager says "He peeled off to the side".  I said "Yes, but it was the wrong side".

He said "OK" and walked away. 

[DVA7130]

This happened during a terrible LL Majors fall ball game. R1, R2, 1 out. Ground ball to F4, who throws to F5 for the force. F5, stretches, but keeps the bag. I call the out.

 

1BC : come on, he wasn't even on the bag!

 

Me: He had it Jim.

 

Between innings:

 

1BC: He was way off the bag blue, we got it on film.

 

Me: I guess I'll see it on Sports Center then.

 

1BC: touché

I knew I got this from here!

USSSA 10UAAA.

F3 somehow completely fails to find the bag and straddles it. Doesn't find it until after BR crosses, but it was close. "He's off the bag!!" *Swoosh*

Fairly heated words from manager, but I did not feel a partner conference was needed.

After the game an AC comes up to me and says, "What if I told you that woman right there had that call at first on video and him on the base?".

As I am walking out the gate, "Then I guess we will see it on ESPN tonight coach".

 

 

[AmackNH]

 

Here's one I actually did use in a PONY game years ago.

 

I have the bases and a close play at first. I called the runner out.

 

The first base coach goes nuts saying it was a tie and that the tie goes to the runner.

 

I walked over to the coach quietly and said in a low voice, "They changed that one last year. Now the runner has to beat the ball."

 

The coach replied, "Oh, yeah I remember. Good call." 

 

Lying to the coach isn't a good way to enhance your reputation.

 

Sorry...I have a to do it...

 

Neither is being condescending in every reply you post to this board...but that never stops you...

[renegadewolf]

Close play at 2, BR just barely beats the tag, called safe.  Start walking back to my position

 

D AC:  "Thats two now blue..." from the dugout well behind the backstop

me : stop, turn to coach hand up "that's enough" turn back away continuing to my position

D AC "That's right I said that's two now blue" from the backstop fence this time

me : make the tossing motion "you're done coach"

D AC comes stomping out and in a loud voice asks me "You are tossing me because I said that's two now blue"?

me : "Nope, because you said it twice"