Cell Phones

[Rulekeep]

2 hours ago, kylehutson said:

I have my CCL, but this post made me think "no need for a gun, just a taser". After the first one, I bet you don't get so much as a "looked good from here" from any team for years.

One of my colleagues in Little League is a very well known cop around here and has made very similar remarks. 

[udbrky]

5 hours ago, kylehutson said:

I have my CCL, but this post made me think "no need for a gun, just a taser". After the first one, I bet you don't get so much as a "looked good from here" from any team for years.

Can't bring either most likely if you're doing HS. Not familiar with KS laws, but most states, school property or a school function is a pretty big no-no. Taser depends on classification legally. What if you could hit a button and shock someone as a pre-warning?

[kylehutson]

1 minute ago, udbrky said:

Can't bring either most likely if you're doing HS. Not familiar with KS laws, but most states, school property or a school function is a pretty big no-no. Taser depends on classification legally. What if you could hit a button and shock someone as a pre-warning?

Pffft. You're letting facts get in the way of my fantasizing.

[udbrky]

Just now, kylehutson said:

Pffft. You're letting facts get in the way of my fantasizing.

Haha.

So is it:

that's enough

This is your official warning, to the dugout!

wing him on the arm

eject

center mass shot

Or does that come before the EJ?

[Rulekeep]

4 minutes ago, udbrky said:

What if you could hit a button and shock someone as a pre-warning?

Then games would be a lot smoother. What's that thing BigUmpire used to say? "If you have 100 monkeys misbehaving, KILL ONE, and watch the rest of them shape up"?

[kylehutson]

5 minutes ago, udbrky said:

Haha.

So is it:

that's enough

This is your official warning, to the dugout!

wing him on the arm

eject

center mass shot

Or does that come before the EJ?

No ejections. We chance from IAWE to IT

The first chirp we ignore. On the second one...

"C'mon blue, that pitch was low"

*TAZE*

Voila - no more arguments and he's restricted to the dugout until such time as he can regain control of his own facilities. Once he can stand and get to his position on his own power, he's welcome to continue coaching.

[ElkOil]

13 minutes ago, kylehutson said:

No ejections. We chance from IAWE to IT

The first chirp we ignore. On the second one...

"C'mon blue, that pitch was low"

*TAZE*

Voila - no more arguments and he's restricted to the dugout until such time as he can regain control of his own facilities. Once he can stand and get to his position on his own power, he's welcome to continue coaching.

Do you wait until he stops twitching to resume play?

[kylehutson]

Just now, ElkOil said:

Do you wait until he stops twitching to resume play?

Not as long as I get him before he leaves the dugout. If he's out of the dugout, we'd need some administrators to drag him off the field first.

[mr magoo]

I got this image in my head of a 9mm on the outside of the ball bag  " Hey Blue where's that pitch "  Then you tap on the 9mm and he say's  "OK"

[JimmyK]

On ‎4‎/‎4‎/‎2016 at 0:50 AM, Rulekeep said:

People get hurt doing everything possible to be safe. You can commit no mistakes and still fail. That is life, and when some stupid ass parent pulls a gun or a knife or a draino bomb because I won't talk to him, I'd like to keep mine. Your foolish umpire-puritan pride is not worth getting the crap beaten out of you in a parking lot. 

I am not sure if someone has commented on this yet or not but can someone tell me how a cell phone is going to protect you from someone with a gun, knife, or a draino bomb?  In my state, police response is good but they have not made it to sub-second response time yet.  I think all of you are looking for an excuse to carry a cell phone on the field - period.  There is absolutely no reason to carry a phone on the field (if you have a sick mom or an expectant wife then don't do the game - you need to be with your family). And to that matter, you should not allow the coaches to have them on the field.  Do your job on the field and let the level headed (yes there are a few of each at EVERY game) 'protect' you with their cell phones.  That way, it is theirs that gets the bullet hole and not yours.  Stop being stupid - they are not needed on the field (or on your way to and from the field from your car).  And those of you using them as time pieces - that's just unprofessional.  Spend 5 bucks and get a stop watch that when you pull it out of your pocket, no one will think you are checking your text messages.

[ricka56]

I'll be on the far end of the baseball complex this weekend and I will have my cell phone because it is a 10 minute hike to get the TD's attention...

...that and I can call my bookie after I size up the U11 teams that are about to play. . 

[udbrky]

Thought you would use smoke signals.

[HokieUmp]

On 4/4/2016 at 0:50 AM, Rulekeep said:

That is life, and when some stupid ass parent pulls a gun or a knife or a draino bomb because I won't talk to him, I'd like to keep mine. Your foolish umpire-puritan pride is not worth getting the crap beaten out of you in a parking lot. 

Where the do you umpire - the Alcatraz Senior League, for God's sake??!?

I've carried a phone on the field once.  It was this year, actually, because some places I work JV games have a time limit, and I had nothing else for a timepiece.  I've never considered having a phone on the field, otherwise.  Having it to call over out of control idiots has never been a thought.

[Rulekeep]

10 hours ago, HokieUmp said:

Where the do you umpire - the Alcatraz Senior League, for God's sake??!?

I've carried a phone on the field once.  It was this year, actually, because some places I work JV games have a time limit, and I had nothing else for a timepiece.  I've never considered having a phone on the field, otherwise.  Having it to call over out of control idiots has never been a thought.

There's a new name for the local little league installation...the only sports fan that goes harder than the fanaticy baseball parents are the rabid high schoolers on Saturday nights. 

[Out&UglyToo]

On 4/6/2016 at 2:10 PM, udbrky said:

...I think this thread is changing from cell phone on the field to carrying a gun on the field.

Is there an app for a .500 S&W for my iPhone yet?

I think a cell phone is rather intimidating when the coach realizes that I have recorded the conversation and videorecorded him doing the "Funky Chicken" dance or kicking dirt on my shoes while arguing a judgement call. I can leave him in the game after he thinks I can blackmail him like that - unless he's stupid beyond comprehension, he should behave himself after that.

Maybe I'll actually start carrying a phone...it just seems like that would be so much fun! Ahh, back to baseball.

 

[Cav]

1 minute ago, Out&UglyToo said:

- unless he's stupid beyond comprehension...

 

He's already proved that. 

[Out&UglyToo]

8 minutes ago, Cav said:

He's already proved that. 

My mistake - I thought I comprehended his initial stupidity. He's a coach. Duh!

[udbrky]

2 hours ago, Out&UglyToo said:

Is there an app for a .500 S&W for my iPhone yet?

I think a cell phone is rather intimidating when the coach realizes that I have recorded the conversation and videorecorded him doing the "Funky Chicken" dance or kicking dirt on my shoes while arguing a judgement call. I can leave him in the game after he thinks I can blackmail him like that - unless he's stupid beyond comprehension, he should behave himself after that.

Maybe I'll actually start carrying a phone...it just seems like that would be so much fun! Ahh, back to baseball.

 

 

[ricka56]

Today, I told a coach that I have the new taser app on my cell phone...
 

[Mr Ump]

On April 6, 2016 at 11:24 AM, Aging_Arbiter said:

@Mr Ump I grew up in a little town that you may have heard of called Gary, IN.  Back in mid-80s a buddy asked me to work a couple of games with him on the south side.  Now keep in mind this was before GPS, cell phones, or lights at Wrigley.  Needless to say, I made a wrong turn along the way and ended up in the little known area (yes, that's sarcasm) called Cabrini Green.  There weren't as many gun related issues back then, but a pipe or knife wasn't out of the question.  I was approached by several "gentlemen" with these nice little branded scars on their arms in the form, of a pitch fork.  They proceeded to inform me that I was either stupid as F*** or brave as F*** for being there.  However, they corrected my directions and got me to the field (on time) after realizing that I was going to umpire a LL game in which some little brothers of friends of theirs played for.

Awesome story....Cabrini is not the place to end up but as you learned not all people that lived there were bad. You just got to be real and know how to talk. Now Gary, that is a place I never want to ump but that is another story for another time...LOL

[Mr Ump]

On April 6, 2016 at 4:10 PM, udbrky said:

Did they steal your hubcaps?

 

I'm in Hammond. I don't have any games in Gary. I do have an East Chicago one.

 

I think this thread is changing from cell phone on the field to carrying a gun on the field.

Hammond is cool. Work the local college (CCAC Conference) and never had an issue. 10 minutes from the house because technically I am in Dolton.

[Mr Ump]

It just looks bad. Plus you never know who is watch and or filming. Leave your phone in the car. Buy a stop watch. Free yourself from the technology trap...LOL...don't be a slave to your cell.

[LittleBlue]

3 hours ago, Mr Ump said:

It just looks bad. Plus you never know who is watch and or filming. Leave your phone in the car. Buy a stop watch. Free yourself from the technology trap...LOL...don't be a slave to your cell.

Oh man, I hate working the plate and seeing my partner down the right field line texting away. I don't know about you, but I personally like being liberated from my phone, if only for a few hours!

[udbrky]

23 hours ago, Mr Ump said:

 

23 hours ago, Mr Ump said:

Hammond is cool. Work the local college (CCAC Conference) and never had an issue. 10 minutes from the house because technically I am in Dolton.

I'd come check out a game. I've got the next 6 weeks booked (you know how the weather is though), but I'd definitely come check it out. Our assigners here do the local college and it's 1 mi from my house.

[Aging_Arbiter]

I have 2 kinds of (what I like to call) therapy.  Baseball, and the Harley.  Both mean that I am away from work (and the technology surrounding it), and doing something that I enjoy.