My first ejection was less than memorable. I had a coach that was chirping about every little thing. Yammer yammer yammer, on he went. I was propbably in my 3rd or 4th year and was umpiring in a local league outside of the base where I was stationed. Well, needless to say, the "locals" had obviously had some run ins with military personnel in the past, and had a chip on their shoulder about it.
About the 3rd inning, my thick skin had wore a little thin. I sent the catcher to talk to his pitcher, the batter down the 3B coach and asked the coach to bring his scorebook out as I pulled out my line-up card. Then out of earshot of everyone, I quietly & politely informed him that if he didn't find someone that he had to be immediately, that the league would find out the hard way that they needed to re-evaluate his involvement with the league.
No sooner had I put the ball back in play, than "his phone rang". He had a call from work and had to leave. He asked for time to run the book out to the 3B coach, and on his way back by me, gave me a little head nod and said "thanks blue".
I wonder if the tanks was for allowing him to make an exit......or allowing time for him to turn over the book. The world, may never know........