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VolUmp

Common BS Comments — Translations Included

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"Look, I'm just here for the kids."

(I don't know the rule or interpretation you're trying to explain to me, and I'm sure as hell not going to take the time to learn it, so I'll do my best to shame you into thinking you're taking this too seriously.)

"Control the things we can control ... don't worry about the stuff we can't."

(The Plate Umpire sucks.  Deal with it.)

"Come on, Blue, call it both ways."

(Blue, I really don't want you to give the opposing team that call, but my son's pitching, and I expect 4-5" off the plate to be a strike.)

"Balk?  What'd he do?"

(I can't stand umpires who enforce balks ... they don't enforce them in MLB, so why should I learn the balk rules.)

"Interference?  He was trying to get out of the way!!"  (F2 was throwing to 2nd)

(I hate the interference rule, mostly because I don’t know it.)

"Blue, that's Interference!  He didn't even try to get out of the way!!"  (F2 was throwing to 3rd)

(I hate the interference rule, mostly because I don’t know it.)

"It's not where he catches it, Blue ... it's where it crosses the plate!"

(I don't really know what that means, and I can’t see anything from here, but I've heard my husband say that 1000 times and it sounds like it raises my “Baseball IQ.”)

"Appeal 1B ... he missed 1B!!"

(That 3-run bomb is really gonna hurt.)

"Blue ... is he coming set?"

(I can't stand umpires who enforce balks ... but I think I can piss this guy off.)

"What do you mean he was out for running lane interference???"  (Ball was bunted right in front of the plate)

(What's the running lane???)

"Why isn’t he out for running lane interference???"  (Ball was hit to F6).

(Blue just changed the running lane rule.)

“What do you mean Obstruction on my 1st Baseman?  The batter ran around him ... he was out of baseline!”  (Ball was hit to the RC gap)

(What's Obstruction???)

 

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"You're better than that."

 

(I don't really know what that means, but I heard my favorite Major League manager say it, and I think it sounds like I know what I'm talking about.)

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"No one paid to see you, Blue.  You're not bigger than the game."

(I really don't like having an umpire who has the guts to properly enforce a rule...and award the proper penalty for a rules violation against my team...late in the game.)

"That'll (pitch) get you 20 (wins) in the big leagues."

(Why yes, I can see the outside corner better than you from my position over here in the dugout.)

"Throw it there again!"

(Are you f*****g blind, blue?)

"Blue, can you get help on that?" AND/OR "Blue, you don't have to get help just because he (the other coach) asks you to get help."

(I only want you to get help when the initial call goes in favor of the other team.)

"We've been doing that all season."

(I am a liar.) or (We've had crappy umpires all season who don't enforce this rule.)  Truthfully, either could be true.

"I'm not talking to you blue!  I'm talking to my pitcher!"

(I'm acting like I'm in kindergarten by pretending I'm talking to my pitcher when I'm really arguing balls and strikes from the dugout.)

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On 10/31/2017 at 12:38 AM, VolUmp said:

"Look, I'm just here for the kids."

(I don't know the rule or interpretation you're trying to explain to me, and I'm sure as hell not going to take the time to learn it, so I'll do my best to shame you into thinking you're taking this too seriously.)     Some DO take it too seriously.

"Control the things we can control ... don't worry about the stuff we can't."

(The Plate Umpire sucks.  Deal with it.)   Some do at the 12U level.

"Come on, Blue, call it both ways."

(Blue, I really don't give a rip whether you give them that call, but my son's pitching, and I expect 4" off the plate to be a strike.)   Wrong translation. Gets used on many calls.  :)

"Balk?  What'd he do?"

(I can't stand umpires who enforce balks ... they don't enforce them in MLB, so I haven't bothered to learn the balk rules.)  Rules allow you to ask on anything except a step balk.

"Interference?  He was trying to get out of the way!!"

(I  don't know the interference rule.)

"Blue, that's Interference!  He didn't even try to get out of the way!!"

(I hate the interference rule.)  This ^^^ sounds like it may be correct.

"It's not where he catches it, Blue ... it's where it crosses the plate!"

(I don't really know what that means, but I've heard my husband say that 1000 times and it sounds like it raises my baseball IQ.)  I've heard MLB catchers say that. It IS true after all.

"Appeal 1B ... he missed 1B!!"

(That 3-run bomb is really gonna hurt.)  Maybe he did miss 1B. I've seen it several times.

"Blue ... is he coming set?"

(I can't stand umpires who enforce balks ... but I think I can piss this one off.)  Means "I don't know the balk rule"

"What do you mean he was out for running lane interference???"

(What's the running lane???)  True

 

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11 hours ago, JonnyCat said:

"You're better than that."

 

(I don't really know what that means, but I heard my favorite Major League manager say it, and I think it sounds like I know what I'm talking about.)

Used when you know that the ump knows he kicked it.

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1 hour ago, lawump said:

"No one paid to see you, Blue.  You're not bigger than the game."

(I really don't like having an umpire who has the guts to properly enforce a rule...and award the proper penalty for a rules violation against my team...late in the game.)  Unfortunately, I've encountered a few individuals that fit the bill

"That'll (pitch) get you 20 (wins) in the big leagues."

(Why yes, I can see the outside corner better than you from my position over here in the dugout.)  But I can see the high low as well as the PU.

"Throw it there again!"

(Are you f*****g blind, blue?)  The batter now thinks it's a strike so he'll swing at it.

"Blue, can you get help on that?" AND/OR "Blue, you don't have to get help just because he (the other coach) asks you to get help."

(I only want you to get help when the initial call goes in favor of the other team.)  Manager's job. Like objecting in court,

"We've been doing that all season."

(I am a liar.) or (We've had crappy umpires all season who don't enforce this rule.)  Truthfully, either could be true.  You said it.

"I'm not talking to you blue!  I'm talking to my pitcher!"

(I'm acting like I'm in kindergarten by pretending I'm talking to my pitcher when I'm really arguing balls and strikes from the dugout.)  A strict reading of the rule (OBR)  says you cannot leave the bench to argue balls and strikes. :)

 

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15 minutes ago, Rich Ives said:

Used when you think you know that the ump knows he kicked it.

 

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46 minutes ago, Rich Ives said:

"Balk?  What'd he do?"

(I can't stand umpires who enforce balks ... they don't enforce them in MLB, so I haven't bothered to learn the balk rules.)  Rules allow you to ask on anything except a step balk.

No rule prohibits getting an explanation of a step balk but the MLBUM does. Interestingly, a 2012 PBUC pdf I have says that the manager can get an explanation of ANY balk. Whether that difference still exists or did exist between MLB and MiLB might be answered by @lawump

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2 hours ago, Rich Ives said:

"Interference?  He was trying to get out of the way!!"

(I don't know the interference rule.)

Rich ... I think the best translation is both.  "I hate the interference rule ... and I don't know it either."

 

"Blue, that's Interference!  He didn't even try to get out of the way!!"

(I hate the interference rule.)  This ^^^ sounds like it may be correct.

Rich ... the inspiration for this particular coach complaint comes from his catcher trying to throw out a stealing runner at 3B when the batter held his ground and the catcher air mailed the ball into LF.  Half an inning ago, the same coach's base runner was "trying" to get out of the way of a fielder in the act of fielding a batted ball, he failed, and he was called for INT.

So ... it all boils down to:  "I hate the interference rule ... and I don't know it either."

And Rich, you're taking the entire post too personally since you're a coach.

I'm just here for the kids.

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3 hours ago, lawump said:

"No one paid to see you, Blue.  You're not bigger than the game."

(I really don't like having an umpire who has the guts to properly enforce a rule...and award the proper penalty for a rules violation against my team...late in the game.)

"That'll (pitch) get you 20 (wins) in the big leagues."

(Why yes, I can see the outside corner better than you from my position over here in the dugout.)

"Throw it there again!"

(Are you f*****g blind, blue?)

"Blue, can you get help on that?" AND/OR "Blue, you don't have to get help just because he (the other coach) asks you to get help."

(I only want you to get help when the initial call goes in favor of the other team.)

"We've been doing that all season."

(I am a liar.) or (We've had crappy umpires all season who don't enforce this rule.)  Truthfully, either could be true.

"I'm not talking to you blue!  I'm talking to my pitcher!"

(I'm acting like I'm in kindergarten by pretending I'm talking to my pitcher when I'm really arguing balls and strikes from the dugout.)

I enjoyed and agree with all six of these contributions.  And you are very astute in your translation to #5.  But there is a third option ... There are subtle rules (especially safety rules in FED) that go unnoticed by umpires.  They would enforce the catcher's headgear rule if they made it a priority to check it, but most don't ... so the Head Coach is not actually lying, but he also knows the rule and is playing dumb to avoid accountability.  He was at the same state rules meeting that emphasized all the safety rules as the umpires were ... so ... he's still a RAT for saying this.  (Yes, Ives ... I said it).

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2 hours ago, Rich Ives said:

 

14 hours ago, basejester said:

"Looks like the strike zone will be inside today."
(I don't understand the slot position.)

Like in game 5

Yeah ... but I agreed with Smoltz 1000%.  He (Bill Miller) was very consistent in giving 2-3" on that side of the plate all night for both teams.  I read news posts all over the internet the following day about his "terrible" strike zone.  2-3" and consistent all night and consistent between teams is not "terrible," it's a very well called game.  He established his zone in the 1st inning, then he likely missed 3-4 pitches in 10 innings.  Perfectly par for the course in MLB.  In the infamous Eric Gregg game 20 years ago, he established his zone and missed zero pitches in 9 innings.  When you widen the zone by 8" on each side of the plate, it's hard to miss a pitch.

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34 minutes ago, VolUmp said:

When you widen the zone by 8" on each side of the plate, it's hard to miss a pitch.

"Son, if the catcher can reach it, so can you."

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"Come on, Blue, call it both ways."

(I've actually had this said in the top of the 1st, prior to the other team's pitcher, pitching.  I actually called time, turned and smiled at the lady that said it!)

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4 hours ago, Rich Ives said:

Used when you know that the ump knows he kicked it.

Oh, has that happened to you when you strapped on the gear and actually worked a game?

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9 hours ago, Rich Ives said:

Like in game 5

That was a great game to watch, though.  This whole series has been fun so far.

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10 hours ago, Rich Ives said:

Like in game 5

I found it quite ironic that the most bitching about the strike zone in this series came in a game where 25 runs were scored. :HS

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