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Umpire in Chief

How many umpires does it take to change a light bulb?

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My son told me he made this one up, I've never heard it before.

How many umpires does it take to change a light bulb???

None, they like them out.. 

 

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10.

One to change the light bulb, 9 to comment on whether his pants drape properly on his shoes as he reaches for the bulb.

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Extra credit: who has light bulb coverage in 3-umpire, 4-umpire, and 6-umpire mechanics?

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6 hours ago, maven said:

Extra credit: who has light bulb coverage in 3-umpire, 4-umpire, and 6-umpire mechanics?

Scorekeeper.

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On 3/22/2016 at 6:42 AM, Umpire in Chief said:

My son told me he made this one up, I've never heard it before.

How many umpires does it take to change a light bulb???

None, they like them out.. 

 

Stop it right now while you're ahead.  

What does a grape and a chicken have in common? They're both purple except for the chicken.

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Q: How many software engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. That's a hardware problem.

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Ok, now we are veering off the original track. So, I can submit this joke I just hear on the radio --- driving home from doing a game (see, that's the umpiring connection):

A photon checks into a hotel and gets asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He answers, "No, I'm traveling light."

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2 hours ago, umpstu said:

Stop it right now while you're ahead.  

What does a grape and a chicken have in common? They're both purple except for the chicken.

giphy.gif

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57 minutes ago, JHSump said:

Ok, now we are veering off the original track. So, I can submit this joke I just hear on the radio --- driving home from doing a game (see, that's the umpiring connection):

A photon checks into a hotel and gets asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He answers, "No, I'm traveling light."

If we're going to go with the physics jokes...

An electron is driving his car down the road and gets pulled over. The cop says "Did you know you were going 90 miles an hour?" The electron says "Crap. Now I don't know where I am."

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If we're going to go with the physics jokes...
An electron is driving his car down the road and gets pulled over. The cop says "Did you know you were going 90 miles an hour?" The electron says "Crap. Now I don't know where I am."

Can't beat a good Heisenberg joke... Nerd alert!

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

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1 minute ago, ALStripes17 said:

Nerd alert!

Guilty!

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Guilty!

I shall accompany you

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

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On 6/27/2017 at 7:46 PM, BT_Blue said:

First joke I heard from our Amazon Echo...

Q: "What does a sub-atomic duck say?"

A: "Quark"

 

quark.gif

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On 7/9/2017 at 10:33 PM, Rulekeep said:

 

quark.gif

Of course this was the first thing I thought of when I heard the joke.

I've always wanted a book with the list of Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. I'm sure it is out there. Just never gotten around to actually looking.

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4 hours ago, BT_Blue said:

I've always wanted a book with the list of Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. I'm sure it is out there. Just never gotten around to actually looking.

A list of all known rules is indeed out there.

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6 hours ago, BT_Blue said:

Of course this was the first thing I thought of when I heard the joke.

I've always wanted a book with the list of Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. I'm sure it is out there. Just never gotten around to actually looking.

http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules_of_Acquisition

Never spend money on what you can find for free. 

EDIT: dammit, maven beat me to it and I went in before viewing the rest of the thread. 

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On 7/11/2017 at 7:44 PM, maven said:

A list of all known rules is indeed out there.

I don't think anybody is shocked that maven had rules on hand ready to go. Even if they're......... uh, Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. 

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How many umpires does it take to change a light bulb?
 
None.  Because the GOAT has already taken care of it.  
Heheheheee
 

tombrady.jpg

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18 minutes ago, BrianC14 said:

 

How many umpires does it take to change a light bulb?
 
None.  Because the GOAT has already taken care of it.  
Heheheheee
 

tombrady.jpg

Where's the sensitive material button to have this removed? :bang:

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