Non-traditional equipment

[Umpire in Chief]

I have read posts elsewhere of guys who use non-traditional equipment as umpires. I've seen some mentioned which seem like a good idea like guys who use hockey ref shin guards... And I've seen posts which don't seem like too good of an idea like guys who wear soccer shin guards as umpires.

I don't have anything non-traditional in my goodie bag but was wondering if you did?

[mstaylor]

I do not but there was a post this morning on the ABUA about hockey compression tights that are similar to McDavids but cheaper and from what he says should last longer.

My original plate shoes were actually work shoes that looked very close to Honig's low tops. They had the tongue all the way up the top of the shoe. The sole was less than perfect but for $35.00 they did fine for a couple of years.

[Stan W.]

I do not wear any non traditional items of gear, yet I too, have heard of people who are doing so.....back in the time before the umpire specific gear became more readily available, you used to see guys who made their own plate brushes out of paint brushes, or wore modified catcher shin guards (cutting off the toe flap) but not so much now.....actually most of the guys I work with are pretty much gear junkies/snobs and wouldnt ever do it....

I have heard about some wearing the hockey shin guards, and if Im not mistaken, I believe Carl Childress wears a youth hockey shin guard under his long sleeve underarmor as a fore arm guard..... but I believe that was for extra protection of an injury.....while recovering from a forearm shot

Edited December 2, 2008 by Stan W.
spelling!!

[gv59]

When I started umpiring I used catcher shin guards with the toe flap cut off and steel toed work shoes. I have since gone to the WV shin guards and Gerry Davis plate shoes. I have worked with guys who used soccer shin guards with base shoes behind the plate (not very smart). But the one that takes the cake was: I was watching my girls play in an 8th Grade softball league championship game. The guy behind the plate wore a mask and shin guards only. No plate shoes, no chest protector, NO CUP.

Edited December 2, 2008 by gv59

[mstaylor]

When I started umpiring I used catcher shin guards with the toe flap cut off and steel toed work shoes. I have since gone to the WV shin guards and Gerry Davis plate shoes. I have worked with guys who used soccer shin guards with base shoes behind the plate (not very smart). But the one that takes the cake was: I was watching my girls play in an 8th Grade softball league championship game. The guy behind the plate wore a mask and shin guards only. No plate shoes, no chest protector, NO CUP.

OK, everybody together, he's an idiot.

I had a buddy that refused to wear a cup and lost a testicle playing goal in soccer. Then he insisted on wearing soccer shin guards behind the plate during varsity games. He took one so bad in the shin that he had to drive 30 miles left footed. He had a pair of baseball shin guards the next day. Good guy but hard headed.:HS

[Stan W.]

I am at the Fed rules interpretation meeting....the state interpreter is going over rule changes and starts on the required equipment for plate umpires....mask, cp, cup, shins.....an umpire puts his hand up and asks if it is mandatory to wear "all that gear"?.....He stated he had been calling varsity ball for 20 years just wearing a mask......

Then I recognized him as a relative of my wife......and that answered a lot of questions I've had concerning her family...... :HS

Edited December 2, 2008 by Stan W.

[Umpire in Chief]

OK, everybody together, he's an idiot.

I had a buddy that refused to wear a cup and lost a testicle playing goal in soccer. Then he insisted on wearing soccer shin guards behind the plate during varsity games. He took one so bad in the shin that he had to drive 30 miles left footed. He had a pair of baseball shin guards the next day. Good guy but hard headed.

After losing one testie for not wearing protective equipment, I think I would have learned my lesson and been behind the plate in the fullest protection possible.

These are the people they make all of the ridiculous safety warnings for:

Caution you coffee will be hot!

Don't use your toaster in the bath tub.

[Majordave]

Your short list reminds me of the Bill Engvall bit about Here's your sign (stupid).

Preparation H has a warning on the label that says it is not to be taken orally.

No Shi+!

They probably got a letter or worse, got sued by some attorney representing the moron.

"Dear Preparation H: I have been taking your product for about 3 weeks now. My hemorrhoids are still large and painful but my mouth is now so small I can barely fit a pea through it. What do you suggest?"

Sort of a Darwin's theory of evolution-survival of the fittest argument applied to modern times.

Unfortunately, they keep producing and producing until our worldwide gene pool is so shallow it reminds you of a rain puddle in the street.

An idiocracy in the making I tell you.

[Hemibee]

...Unfortunately, they keep producing and producing until ....

Not for long if they keep losing one of the family jewels. :HS

[Majordave]

I know a guy who got one of his balls blasted off by an 8 year old pitching machine level player. This guy was league president feeding the pitching machine from about 30 feet away and a line drive busted him right in the groin. He laid on the field "crying" and moaning about 30 minutes until the ambulance came. The doctor, who is now a friend of mine and a former D-1 catcher at Xavier U in Cincinnati, took one look and said it was not repairable thus my acquaintance, "the pres", is now old one-ball. He actually did the deed with his wife earlier than the doc wanted him to and got an abcess and lost the other one. However, the randy devil impregnated his wife with their third child before the abcess got the second one.

This guy is not too bright and wanted to sue the doctor but no dice finding another doctor to say it was malpractice on the abcess. His older kids have impregnated other teenagers and been impregnated as well (one boy, one girl). That family's gene pool is very shallow I assure you.

So, you can create a bigger problem with only one. I have seen it.

Another story.

A soldier of mine in the Army was stroking a deployed soldier's wife when he was a younger soldier and got caught when the deployed guy came back. As part of his punishment he caught a 12 guage shell in the groin blowing off one of his "jewels". This "brain surgeon" carried multiple shot and fragments in his unit and pelvic region and fathered six kids with one ball. I saw his x-rays. He was quite proud of his survival from this act and deed.

He was a good soldier but not too bright either. He retired with 25 years as an E-7 instead of E-8 or 9.

I only hope that some guys who don't wear adequate protection lose them both so they cannot reproduce but, alas, it usually works out for them to be multiple-children parents.