Jump to content

"You don't talk to my kids!"


Umpire-Empire locks topics which have not been active in the last year. The thread you are viewing hasn't been active in 3823 days so you will not be able to post. We do recommend you starting a new topic to find out what's new in the world of umpiring.

Recommended Posts

This is long, but if you have the time, I think it's a pretty good story.

 

Let me preface the actual 'war story' with the reason there was even a 'war' to begin with.

 

Last month I was tasked with assigning a 14/15U tournament.  The actual assigning called for about 35 total games.  I was given the schedule  about a month in advance and I filled every game.  About two weeks before the tournament was set to begin, I received an email with an updated schedule.  So I reworked it a bit.  I then attempted to contact the tournament directors via phone, email and text message.  The main tournament director didn't return ONE call, email or text and the other one replied VERY sparingly.

 

After leaving a voicemail for the main director stating for him to contact me and then sending an email letting him know the same thing, I waited for one day.  I wasn't contacted yet again so I sent an email to the two guys involved letting them know that I am not involved with this anymore.  Almost immediately after pressing 'send' I was barraged with phone calls and texts from both men.  I let them know that basically they can kick rocks.  I spent time setting up the damn schedule and they couldn't even be bothered to give me a return phone call.  I let the guys who I had assigned for he tournament know that I was done and I won't be offended if they stay on.  I also sent a final email to the tournament director with phone information for several more umpires because I didn't want their stupidity and carelessness affecting the kids who want to play baseball.

 

Fast forward to today.  So today was the final day for a local, 8-team 15U tournament.  I was working the second semi-final game and it just so happened that one of the TDs had a team in the game.  I knew that would be the case ahead of time and it had been over a month since the tournament I was supposed to assign was completed and I surely didn't have any animosity towards the coach despite being screwed over. We have the pre-game meeting and shake hands.  I thought all would be well.

 

I did the plate for game one, so I'm on bases for game two.  First play of the game was fairly obvious to me, but there was commotion because F1 got a late start towards 1B (the ball was a grounder that F3 dove for).  The call went against HT (TD's team).  I didn't hear it, but after the game I was told HC said "that's one, blue".  Later on in the top of the 1st, R1 is on second and after a pitch he asks me if I can tell F6 to stop touching him (I guess he was tapping him with the glove).  I tell F6 to stop it if he's doing it.  Don't really know what else I can do.

 

Bottom of the first goes down without a hitch.

 

Top 2 my partner ejects the HT's assistant coach for arguing balls and strikes.  After the inning is over the HC (TD) comes out to my partner to apologize and says they're just a little frustrated because they don't think I should be working the game (I learned about this after the game).  After talking to my partner he comes out to me and tells me, "You don't talk to my kids.  I know you aren't fans of us because of what happened, but let's stop it now".  I said, "excuse me, coach?"  He repeats himself.  I then said, "I'll manage the game the way I feel is appropriate and if your kids are doing something wrong I'll make sure to stop it immediately, whether you like it or not".  He then said something along the lines of 'you're letting your emotions cloud your judgement". I'm leaving a little bit out, but the gist is his mind is that I'm out to get his team. I should've tossed him right there, but I was in awe of what was said.  

 

The next five innings go very smoothly and the HT eventually loses.  

 

After arriving in the parking lot I talk to the tournament director, my partner and another umpire who was joining us for the 3-man championship game.  The TD let's me know (laughing while he does it) that the HC of the HT asked for me to be removed from the game several times and the 3rd guy joining our crew told me that the rat asked him (during the game) if he could suit up and come replace me.  

 

I was pissed during the game because 1) the incident took place over a month ago 2) despite being the one who was screwed over, I'm made out to be the bad guy and 3) I was basically accused of rigging the game.  After learning about all this information after the game I can now laugh about it.  I just don't know what it is with some coaches.  

 

I got over the lack of respect from the tournament directors about two days after I let them know I was done.  I was just hoping to shake the guy's hand and play the game.  In fact, I was hoping this guy's team would win the game because it would've been a better championship game.  I wasn't going to call the game to ensure that would happen, but at the same token I certainly wasn't going to go out of my way to make calls against the HT because the coaches are morons.  Makes me wonder what this guy has going on in his life to hold onto a stupid grudge (that would've never even been created if a return phone call or an apology for being an inconsiderate  :jerkit: .

 

Oh well, the life of a young umpire I guess.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

IMHO

If you dropped the Assigning job back into their lap because of what ever reason, you should not have worked any of the games yourself.

You put yourself in a tough spot by umpiring any of the games.

Remember, Perception is Reality.

You had a problem with tournament directors and then you umpire a game one of them has a team in. :no:

Also one important thing to remember. Don't Burn Bridges!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

IMHO

If you dropped the Assigning job back into their lap because of what ever reason, you should not have worked any of the games yourself.

You put yourself in a tough spot by umpiring any of the games.

Remember, Perception is Reality.

You had a problem with tournament directors and then you umpire a game one of them has a team in. :no:

Also one important thing to remember. Don't Burn Bridges!!!!!

Didn't think it would be a problem. This man actually apologized to me for what went down the day after. That's the last time I heard anything from him. I just didn't sense there would be a problem. Don't know what happened between then and now.

After what had happened I decided that I wouldn't work the championship game if they won. Would've put the tournament director in a bad spot because he wanted three guys, but I don't really know what else I would've been able to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

IMHO

If you dropped the Assigning job back into their lap because of what ever reason, you should not have worked any of the games yourself.

You put yourself in a tough spot by umpiring any of the games.

Remember, Perception is Reality.

You had a problem with tournament directors and then you umpire a game one of them has a team in. :no:

Also one important thing to remember. Don't Burn Bridges!!!!!

 

Lou,

 

The way I read it was that the crap-storm of a game was a different tournament altogether from the one Central attempted to schedule.  Personally, if it's a different tournament altogether, Central has NO obligation to recuse himself - or from any other tournament/game later that TD might be a part of.  Why should he be expected to punish himself for the other guy being a dips--t?

 

Central:  can you clarify this?  Was this game in a different tournament than the one for which you tried to assign?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

IMHO

If you dropped the Assigning job back into their lap because of what ever reason, you should not have worked any of the games yourself.

You put yourself in a tough spot by umpiring any of the games.

Remember, Perception is Reality.

You had a problem with tournament directors and then you umpire a game one of them has a team in. :no:

Also one important thing to remember. Don't Burn Bridges!!!!!

 

Lou,

 

The way I read it was that the crap-storm of a game was a different tournament altogether from the one Central attempted to schedule.  Personally, if it's a different tournament altogether, Central has NO obligation to recuse himself - or from any other tournament/game later that TD might be a part of.  Why should he be expected to punish himself for the other guy being a dips--t?

 

Central:  can you clarify this?  Was this game in a different tournament than the one for which you tried to assign?

 

Absolutely.  The tournament I gave up was during June 7-9.  

 

The tournament with the sh**storm started on Friday and ended yesterday.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When it comes down to it guys, I'm just a 23 year old, unemployed college-graduate who is trying to earn $45-$50 working a game of baseball until that magical day where I get a decent paying full-time job is here.  That's it.

 

I'm way too young to hold on to any sort of grudge, especially one as stupid as this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel your pain Central. I know of many young, very good umpires (my son was one) who get eaten up and spit out by old fart coaches and tournament officials because their over inflated ego's can't imagine someone younger than them telling them what to do.  Now, it's even worse for the few women who work hardball.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel your pain Central. I know of many young, very good umpires (my son was one) who get eaten up and spit out by old fart coaches and tournament officials because their over inflated ego's can't imagine someone younger than them telling them what to do.

 

I wouldn't deny that the game has its share of jackwagons, but as game officials we can always aim to minimize friction. One way to do that is to try to avoid telling people what to do.

 

So, rather than, "Coach, tell him to take the necklace off" (where you're actually telling 2 people what to do!), try this: "Coach, if he wears the necklace, by rule he cannot participate."

 

Rather than, "You can't argue judgment calls, coach," (sure he can, and a lot do!), try this: "Coach, if you have a question about the rule I'll explain it, but by rule there's no disputing judgment calls."

 

Sure, it's a slight difference, but an important one: rather than me telling the coach what to do, I'm reminding him of the rules, which I'm there to enforce. We can do that the easy way, or he can leave. :)

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I feel your pain Central. I know of many young, very good umpires (my son was one) who get eaten up and spit out by old fart coaches and tournament officials because their over inflated ego's can't imagine someone younger than them telling them what to do.

 

I wouldn't deny that the game has its share of jackwagons, but as game officials we can always aim to minimize friction. One way to do that is to try to avoid telling people what to do.

 

So, rather than, "Coach, tell him to take the necklace off" (where you're actually telling 2 people what to do!), try this: "Coach, if he wears the necklace, by rule he cannot participate."

 

Rather than, "You can't argue judgment calls, coach," (sure he can, and a lot do!), try this: "Coach, if you have a question about the rule I'll explain it, but by rule there's no disputing judgment calls."

 

Sure, it's a slight difference, but an important one: rather than me telling the coach what to do, I'm reminding him of the rules, which I'm there to enforce. We can do that the easy way, or he can leave. :)

 

This doesn't change the fact that the coach carried a grudge over a situation he created for over a month.  The TD for the 2nd tournament needed to have a pair and tell the guy that if there is one person that will not be participating, it will be the coach if he continues his tantrum.

 

Did you say too much?  Maybe.  Did you give him a little extra rope?   Probably, but it kept a lid on the situation.  If you EJ the guy you will have a S&%t$torm of epic proportions.  Your partner should have told him to knock it off, and when he came to you with the comment regarding his kids he should have run him. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When it comes down to it guys, I'm just a 23 year old, unemployed college-graduate who is trying to earn $45-$50 working a game of baseball until that magical day where I get a decent paying full-time job is here.  That's it.

 

I'm way too young to hold on to any sort of grudge, especially one as stupid as this.

Central--you learned a lesson "THAY ARE ALL RATTTSSS" ump long enough and you will learn this

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel your pain Central. I know of many young, very good umpires (my son was one) who get eaten up and spit out by old fart coaches and tournament officials because their over inflated ego's can't imagine someone younger than them telling them what to do.

I wouldn't deny that the game has its share of jackwagons, but as game officials we can always aim to minimize friction. One way to do that is to try to avoid telling people what to do.

So, rather than, "Coach, tell him to take the necklace off" (where you're actually telling 2 people what to do!), try this: "Coach, if he wears the necklace, by rule he cannot participate."

Rather than, "You can't argue judgment calls, coach," (sure he can, and a lot do!), try this: "Coach, if you have a question about the rule I'll explain it, but by rule there's no disputing judgment calls."

Sure, it's a slight difference, but an important one: rather than me telling the coach what to do, I'm reminding him of the rules, which I'm there to enforce. We can do that the easy way, or he can leave. :)

This doesn't change the fact that the coach carried a grudge over a situation he created for over a month. The TD for the 2nd tournament needed to have a pair and tell the guy that if there is one person that will not be participating, it will be the coach if he continues his tantrum.

Did you say too much? Maybe. Did you give him a little extra rope? Probably, but it kept a lid on the situation. If you EJ the guy you will have a S&%t$torm of epic proportions. Your partner should have told him to knock it off, and when he came to you with the comment regarding his kids he should have run him.

Sending the guy packing would've likely caused a sh1tstorm and in the back of my mind I knew that it could potentially get worse. However, I will admit that I felt I was walking on egg shells during the last five innings in a way I've never experienced before. Makes me wonder if tossing him and then going through a sh1tshow would've been more like ripping off a band-aid rather than experiencing a dull stabbing sensation for another hour and a half.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When it comes down to it guys, I'm just a 23 year old, unemployed college-graduate who is trying to earn $45-$50 working a game of baseball until that magical day where I get a decent paying full-time job is here. That's it.

I'm way too young to hold on to any sort of grudge, especially one as stupid as this.

Central--you learned a lesson "THAY ARE ALL RATTTSSS" ump long enough and you will learn this

I'm on year #8 currently. Took me about four years (third year of travel ball) to realize this.

Never experienced a situation like this before.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The battle between coaches, umpires and unsupportive assigners will go on long after we are gone. As far as burning bridges. WTH. F him. He's the one who brought this on. If he needs to be dumped. Dump him based on his actions at that time. Don't bring history into this. Always stay in control. Be professional. If you are then your golden. Remember, there are always three teams on the field.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

When it comes down to it guys, I'm just a 23 year old, unemployed college-graduate who is trying to earn $45-$50 working a game of baseball until that magical day where I get a decent paying full-time job is here.  That's it.

 

I'm way too young to hold on to any sort of grudge, especially one as stupid as this.

Central--you learned a lesson "THAY ARE ALL RATTTSSS" ump long enough and you will learn this

 

Yep.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I feel your pain Central. I know of many young, very good umpires (my son was one) who get eaten up and spit out by old fart coaches and tournament officials because their over inflated ego's can't imagine someone younger than them telling them what to do.

 

I wouldn't deny that the game has its share of jackwagons, but as game officials we can always aim to minimize friction. One way to do that is to try to avoid telling people what to do.

 

So, rather than, "Coach, tell him to take the necklace off" (where you're actually telling 2 people what to do!), try this: "Coach, if he wears the necklace, by rule he cannot participate."

 

Rather than, "You can't argue judgment calls, coach," (sure he can, and a lot do!), try this: "Coach, if you have a question about the rule I'll explain it, but by rule there's no disputing judgment calls."

 

Sure, it's a slight difference, but an important one: rather than me telling the coach what to do, I'm reminding him of the rules, which I'm there to enforce. We can do that the easy way, or he can leave. :)

 

 

I should have used the term, "in positions of authority", rather then telling them what to do. I think some jackwagons have issues with someone younger being in charge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I feel your pain Central. I know of many young, very good umpires (my son was one) who get eaten up and spit out by old fart coaches and tournament officials because their over inflated ego's can't imagine someone younger than them telling them what to do.

 

I wouldn't deny that the game has its share of jackwagons, but as game officials we can always aim to minimize friction. One way to do that is to try to avoid telling people what to do.

 

So, rather than, "Coach, tell him to take the necklace off" (where you're actually telling 2 people what to do!), try this: "Coach, if he wears the necklace, by rule he cannot participate."

 

Rather than, "You can't argue judgment calls, coach," (sure he can, and a lot do!), try this: "Coach, if you have a question about the rule I'll explain it, but by rule there's no disputing judgment calls."

 

Sure, it's a slight difference, but an important one: rather than me telling the coach what to do, I'm reminding him of the rules, which I'm there to enforce. We can do that the easy way, or he can leave. :)

 

Great advice!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

The fact that he basically brought your integrity into question is completely unprofessional. Just because you have had problems with him in the past doesn't mean you should be barred from working his games or that you would call the game in any way that favors the team that his is playing against. If we ever have a problem with a coach or a manager and it leads to an ejection it doesn't mean that down the road if we have that same coach or manager again we would hold any ill will towards them and it should be the same on their end is well. It's a new day, new tournament, new game. Also no one who is in a position of authority such as a TD should ever hold any resentment towards an official of any kind especially when they are on the field. Their job is to direct tournaments and your job is to umpire. At the end of the day even if there is some bad blood from the past you are both in the same business of baseball. For many of those reasons I stated above at the complex I work for and call most of my youth ball we only have 2 TDs, my self and another umpire. It helps to avoid conflict between umpires and TDs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Seems to me, if the guy is a TD he should know that short of an injury an umpire cannot be replaced.

I 100% agree that they're ALL rats. Every damn one of them.

@CentralOhioUmp30 - 23 is about the age of most guys in MiLB. We have several young guys in my association and the TD sees them as less qualified. I remind him often that when he played AA, those umpires were likely younger than our guys.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...